had enough. starting to feel depressed? suppport needed.

[BethHx]

Hi all.
I fell pregnant with my daughter whilst on contraception. Have been trying now for 8 months and been on no contraception since my daughter was four months.
Ttc is starting to take over my life. To the point i am now crying. I really never thought it would take me this long.
All i think about 24/7 is being pregnant.
Whenever my daughter sees a baby she goes to hug it and kiss it. I just want to give her a brother or sister. I don't want to feel like this over Christmas but don't know how to stop trying. Its really affecting me now.
Just looking for abit of advice on how to stop trying and start not preventing.
X

 

[lowblow1]

*big hug* first of all!!

second- healthy couples take up to 18 months to conceive naturally without help. There is every chance if not charting/using ovulation tests that you are missing the egg completely.

I'm suffering with secondary infertility trying to conceive my second, and we are this cycle mirroring the one i conceived my daughter (folic acid, dtd regularly, temping and charting) and i feel very relaxed despite being told I have pcos now and irregular cycles. just got my positive opk today so fingers crossed

try to drop all 'ttc' and just go with the flow. i know thats shitty advice considering how much you want a baby, but if you tell yourself your not trying, itl happen. enjoy sex, enjoy your oh and daughter and if you need to scream, SCREAM i hope you catch soon xxx

 

[gonnagetabump]

Gurl, I am there with you! It will happen! Ok? I am in ttc 10tg cycle and last cycle u had an emotional breakdown. But take ur time ans cry it out because u will get pregnant!! Because u get to try again!! It hurts please know this is the one place you can go and be understood.

 

[lowblow1]

also with you just coming off bcp - i had no period for 150 days cos of the bcp really effed my body up!! x

 

[BethHx]

I haven't been o any birth control since I had my daughter. I know it will happen when it's meant too but it hurts, getting my af e erythematosus month breaks my heart.

 

[lowblow1]

i hate the 'meant to be' comment, but di dyou know stress delays ov or brings on af? if youre stressing it means your body is signalling youre not ready for a child. so you have to meditate if thats what it takes but relaxing will help xx

 

[BethHx]

Af was 6 days early last month. It's so hard not too stressh though!x

 

[gonnagetabump]

Beth af was 3 days early last month for me.....and I have never been on bc.....so I don't have those milestones. But its an emotional roller coaster that will all be better when we get pregnant

 

[BethHx]

I am hoping to take a break Dec and Jan so I can enjoy Christmas then start again in Feb and I am going to be positive!

 

[Destiny08]

I know how you feel. Im still waiting for my first af after the implant was removed 7 months ago. Im devastated that its not happening. Then on top of that dh is on pills that could mess with his sperm motility, my gp wont help me and my best friend is 8 months pregnant with her second. I know how tough it is to just accept it. But if you know you're doing all you can, then its just a waiting game really, sorry I cant help maybe look into some herbal supplements etc to boost your chances.

 

[Xenia]

Hi Beth, I just wanted to say I totally understand how you feel. My ttc journey was quite long and I felt myself getting depressed too, it consumed my life. I now have two little girls (almost three and a one year old). CD 1-12 used to be so depressing, then my mood would lift for the rest of my cycle, only to plummet again on CD1. In the end, I was very worn out and weary from obsessing about ttc. I went for a couple sessions of accupuncture that were geared towards ttc and within that month, I fell pregnant. I was totally surprised how the accu helped me switch off from ttc, it really helped me mentally. I couldn't afford many sessions, so my plan was to go for a massage/beauty treatment maybe every two weeks, once I couldn't afford the accu anymore. This was my survival plan to help me let go of it all. Though I felt completely hopeless about ttc, I still continued to bd during my fertile window. I realise my story may sound far-fetched and I'm not trying to promote accu, but try to find something that will help you switch off from everything even for a short time during the day. ttc can be a long process and terribly frustrating, but it is completely out of our control. Even if we do everything 'right' within a cycle, there is no guarantee of pregnancy. I wish you all the best...you will forget all about this pain once you get your bbp.
x

 

[emilyanne]

Ive been ttc for over 4 years now. So far nothing but hopes rising and falling... I suffer from depression even before the ttc came into my life and as you can imagine the negatives make the depression worse... much worse.... the only advise I can even think that has helped me.... is to just let go.... enjoy what you have in your life.... I have two beautiful step children that I see once every two weeks. I have a fantastic boyfriend that means the world to me. I have a small number of very close loving friends and I have my sister and my nephew. I wouldnt give them up for the world. When I get down about ttc I think about them. I spend time with my friends little ones. And I ignore the ttc. I avoid pregnancy sites... I ignore the fact I want that baby and try to just enjoy what I do have.... but as I am now... the urge comes back as some new symptom pops up and pulls me back to this site. Which dont get me wrong, can be a life saver.... but can also be the reason I crawl into my bed and cry... I just checked an old group I was on on here.... my name now sits in a small gtoup of women (maybe 5) that havrnt gotten that positive yet... some are now on their second child.... it will happen... but if it doesn't thats just gonna mean I have less people to love but more love to give them. Its hard... but hang in there... find hobbies you enjoy... I love crocheting. .. currently trying to finish two blankets for my step son and step daughter... read books or anything you enjoy... I hope ive helped some... take care and relax... best of luck and baby dust to us all! Xxx

 

[Future Mom]

BethHx, I don't know if this is helpful but you didn't mention how old your daughter is or whether you were/are breast-feeding. I know that lots of women can't get pregnant while they are breast-feeding and even for a while afterwards it takes hormones a while to adjust. So, as hard as it seems, you have to be patient and give your body a chance to adjust. You know that you are able to get pregnant cuz you already have one baby, so just hang in there and let your body do its thing!

 

[Curligurl]

I know how stressful it can be. It took me 2 years and 3 miscarriages before I finally had my first child. My son is now 4 and we just started TTC this month. I already feel the obsession coming back. I have decided to start back reading during my TWW...maybe a good book will keep me occupied. Have you thought about taking up a hobby or craft???

 

[BethHx]

Isabelle is 17 months. I only bf for two weeks. But have had the occasional leak past few months.x