Had to quit breastfeeding and switched to formula - guilt issues!

Discussion in 'Formula Feeding' started by kelseyyy, Aug 20, 2009.

  1. kelseyyy

    kelseyyy Well-Known Member

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    Went out last night & got formula :cry::cry::cry::cry: I do not think LO is getting enough milk. with BF he will eat only around 2 mins 45 sec. and doze off to sleep, then wake up sometimes just 20 minutes later to be hungry again. but with a bottle he will eat about 2 ounces and sleep for sometimes 3 hours. he produces way more wet diapers (he was only producing about 2 every 3 or 4 days with BF) and he produces 2 about everyday now, and having more bowel movements. my hubby and mil and everyone tells me just to switch to formula because if he is not getting enough milk like i suspect then continuing BF is only hurting him. I've cried and cried and cried, as i feel insanely guilty for the switch...it has only been 7 days but if he is not eating enough, something has to be done. I must say it feels relieving to switch to formula no more pain or crying in the middle of the night when he has to eat and my nipples and breasts are so sore, but then i feel guilty for not being able to produce enough for him. i think at my young age of 17 and having a baby was kinda a shock that BF may just be too much for me and my body is not producing enough milk. someone please tell me its okay & im not the worst mommy in the world :(((( i just dont know what to do
     
  2. NIfirsttimer

    NIfirsttimer Proud mum, new wife & WTT

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    you are by no means the worst mummy in the world for giving formula! please dont feel guilty.. although i know how hard it is, ive been introducing some formula to Ruby and i feel a bit guilty about that too.. even tho i know there is absolutly no reason to! i think its all the pressure and publicity about breast feeding... its great to be pro breast, but not anti formula!
    i think at 17 you did fab to even give it a go.. so many other teens wouldnt, infact, so many adults wouldnt too! you could always try pumping, and add it to the formula, or just give some BF and some FF.. that way you arent putting yourself under any pressure of stressing bubs with hunger.
     
  3. DY08

    DY08 1st time mam

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    I agree you've done really well to give it a go. I too had to switch to formula after only 7 days as my baby wasn't getting enough from me. She would be trying to feed for over two hours sometimes, I was already in hospital with her as she was getting treatment for janduce so the nurse put a tube in her tummy to check what she had got after feeding for and hour and a half and it was only 7oz!!! I felt so guilty that my poor little girl had been starving, she had lost over 10% of her weight too! As soon as I switched to formula she picked up and was having a lot more wet and dirty nappies and also sleeping a lot more. Despite what we are told breast feeding does not work for everyone and if your LO is doing a lot better on the formula then I think you've definitely made the right decision!! Hope this makes you feel a little better. Take Care :hugs:
     
  4. whiby

    whiby Well-Known Member

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    oh hunny! don't feel bad at all you are doing what is best for you and your little one (happy mummy = happy baby and vice versa). If it makes you feel better I have never been able to Bf, not even once - ethan would not latch on and just screamed the whole time. i expressed for a few weeks and had to stop because I was also not producing enough. Plus the constant pumping and sterilising and feeding was killing me and I was in tears all the time. Not good. i understand about the guilt, I felt awful and had to be told by the MW to stop trying - it was like I wanted someone's permission to stop, even though I knew myself I had to. You have tried, that's as much as you can do. feel free to PM me if you want to discuss anything x
     
  5. dali

    dali Well-Known Member

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    dont feel guilty there is nothing wrong with ff, ok breast is obviously the more natural way but if formula is made for babies, if ff wasnt just as good my son wouldnt be a strapping healthy 17 month old.
    you have done well to try but your baby would rather have a happy relaxed mum
    happy mum = happy baby :)
     
  6. Dukechick

    Dukechick Wife & proud Mom of 2

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    You did what you could have. I have been pumping because my little one falls asleep, AND I don't produce enough. I do about 50% pumped milk, and 50% suplimenting. I cried for 2 days straight when I realized that I couldn't BF anymore. Even after my mom telling me that it's okay to FF, and my doctor telling me the same thing.... it took me a while to understand that it IS okay!!! Not everyone can do it. That's why I knew that there was a small chance that I wouldn't be able to do it.... and I was going to TRY not to beat myself up about it.. I still did, but I got over it. It's okay honey, you're not the worst mommy in the world! I thought that about myself, but it's really okay!!!!

    xxxxx
     
  7. Mum2b_Claire

    Mum2b_Claire Mummy to Ruby & Scarlett!

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    You may want to post this in the BF section as maybe I'm totally wrong - but the eating for 2mins then falling asleep then waking and being hungry again 20 mins later sounds like quite normal 1 week old behaviour to me, while your supply is still being established.

    I totally agree supplement with formula until your supply gets going (maybe do some pumping too) and see if things improve with time, and getting some support from people in the BF section maybe? I wish I had done this myself, my daughter wouldn't even stay on the breast for 1 minute and I regret not asking for more help at the time. Formula is totally fine but it sounds like, like me, you wanted to BF so maybe you could get some more help before quitting?

    However please don't feel guilty whatever you choose and however things work out. There is so much more to being a mother than which feeding method you choose.
     
  8. happyfamily123

    happyfamily123 Expecting Baby #3

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    I am so with you. I am feeling the guilt as well. My supply is so low, down to 1/2 oz every time I pump. We have to do whats best for our little ones though. So there is no need to feel bad for giving your little one formula. There is a lot of anti formula jargon out there, but don't listen. If you little one is having more diapers and is happier, go for it. But it is still early and your supply is evening out so maybe expressing would help : )
     
  9. Tiff

    Tiff LIKE A BOSS

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    Aww, I know exactly what you are going through!!!

    I cried and cried and cried when Claire had her first bottle of formula. I was able to stick it out for 3 weeks then I just couldn't do it anymore. You are NOT a bad Mom!!! Wanting the best for you and your baby isn't a bad thing. I was in the same boat, it was horrific pain and she wasn't getting enough. I didn't even know she wasn't getting enough until I fed her a bottle of formula and saw what a contented full-stomach baby looked like.

    It is hard, and I know about the guilt. However, guilt is a useless emotion. Why feel guilty for wanting to make sure your LO is getting enough to eat? If you really are feeling down about it, and you really do want to BF, talk to one of the BF Champions in the BF section. They will help you for sure! If that isn't the route you are wanting to take, trust me your LO will be okay!!!

    If you ever have a low moment or are feeling really down about it, please please please PM me. I will help every step of the way. I wish I had that when I was going through my guilt when I switched Claire to formula. You aren't alone, and you aren't a bad mother. Seeing your babe thrive should be enough to show that you made the right decision for you and your LO. What LO needs is for you to be happy!

    :hugs:
     
  10. Feeding for a few mins and then falling asleep is typical newborn behaviour so is falling feeding all evening. If you want to continue breastfeeding post in the breastfeeding section they are some really great women over there that will be able to support you. Im sure you are producing enough for him.

    And dont feel guilty if you do want to stop BF. You tried and thats what matters. xx
     
  11. AppleBlossom

    AppleBlossom Guest

    If you don't want to carry on BFing then don't feel guilty about it. But like some others have said what you described is normal newborn behaviour so maybe see if anyone in the BFing section can give you some advice :)
     

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