Handling frustration

KittyVentura

Autism Mum
Joined
Jan 14, 2009
Messages
10,899
Reaction score
0
Hello dears.

Fin has reached an age where he gets very easily frustrated with things and his impulse reaction is to throw whatever it is across the room. E.G. Putting puzzle back in box, can't get lid on... Throws box of puzzle pieces.

I want to make sure I acknowledge and give validity to his feelings of frustration but also while handing the behaviour of throwing things and I'm a bit stuck. Fin has a short attention span and if I talk to him about his feelings first he tends to forget that he threw the puzzle which makes it hard to go back and correct that... And if I handle the throwing first I worry his feelings of frustration would have subsided.

Typically I say that I know he is feeling frustrated because of XYZ and that when he feels frustrated he should ask for help and/or try again. With the throwing he gets a firm "No! We do NOT throw things, that is not good behaviour. Come and help me pick them up"... And we keep going at picking things up until he does help. I never do it FOR him in these situations and often if he refuses he will no be permitted another toy until he has done so (this isn't a punishment, we work on a "put the first puzzle/set of toys away before getting another out" process so putting the puzzle etc away before another toy is standard).

I'm happy with the individual ways of handling both, he is a well behaved toddler for the most part and this was achieved by adapting our parenting to suit his needs and that is what we have come up with. We're not shouters or smackers and we tend to set full expectations beforehand and explain the reasons for/not doing something etc. I'm just struggling in this scenario to validate his feelings AND tackle the "bad" behaviour (he definitely knows not to throw things)

Any help appreciated.
 
I say to Tom 'I know you're cross but we don't throw things' and then help him to pick it up. Sometimes it takes a long time before he will help but similar to you I don't let him go and do something else until its all tidied away.

He's recently started throwing things at me when he's angry with me. That does get a timeout but that's different from throwing things in frustration with the object.
 
Lizzie tends to cry when she gets frustrated with her limitations...Ally screams.

I tend to get right down, hold their hands / cuddle and try and talk them through it.

I know it's slightly different, as they don't tend to throw, but I know that feeling of meltdown 'whhyyyyyy will it not do what I need it to doooooo?!' Well :hugs:
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,295
Messages
27,144,572
Members
255,754
Latest member
zzzepprut
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"
<-- Admiral -->