Hard time letting go of the “dream”

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by DobbyForever, Oct 2, 2020.

  1. DobbyForever

    DobbyForever First Time Momma

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    I had a virtual happy hour with my coworkers. I was the only one drinking something non-alcoholic. Not because I’m pregnant or a non-drinker, but because as an exhausted single mom I had to pick up my kid at the end of the short get together. The only time my coworker had to hold her 4 month old was while her husband, who has my dream job that I lost due to my abusive ex literally he’s at my school site on my on team in the room next to my old room, made her a drink. She didn’t have to leave when her baby cried. She was free to enjoy herself. I’ve dipped my toes in the dating world and it’s a hard no thank you. But I worked so hard in my life that’s it’s hard to not feel entitled to something easier. I have parents who are quick to remind me that I knew my Ex was an ass and I chose to have my son vs the alternative knowing I’d end up a single mom but no mantra or meditation or whatever makes it easier. And at least before I had support but my parents And brother are high risk so now I have no support except that I get an hour or two a day where I don’t work and he’s at daycare. Just venting really.
     
  2. mridula

    mridula Well-Known Member

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    Oh my goodness you deserve a break from everyone who is negative and start taking a break every now and then, it’s for your and your kid’s well being! Definitely don’t listen to anyone!
     
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  3. DobbyForever

    DobbyForever First Time Momma

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    :hugs: Honestly, I so would. I really believe in that air mask idea where you have to take care of yourself to be strong enough to take care of your children. But I literally don't have a choice now thanks to covid. I just have to make it to Thanksgiving break. I usually get the full week off from work, and his daycare usually only closes on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. So that'll be two days to recharge. And then winter break, I'll be off two weeks and they usually only close about four days. I keep trying to talk to my mom, and all I get is well parenting is hard or you're a single mom, what did you expect. But my son is back at daycare so I can work so nobody is exactly lining up to babysit and help out because we have so many contacts. Before, my mom would take a dig but then she'd help anyway.

    And honestly, if he was a typically developing three year old.. I don't care. I'd go somewhere. Take him and just teach from a hotel in Hawaii or go camping or do a reservation for the zoo/aquarium. I can't even take him to a pumpkin patch because he is so clearly over 2, but developmentally he's 18m/24m. Toss in the autism and sensory processing, and I can't get the kid to wear a mask. But taking him anywhere is a 2-3 person job pre-covid.

    Then toss in these wildfires, and I am so grateful I'm not in an evacuation or warning zone, but the ani means he can't go outside at school or at home. cdhzkf gaywjl gyasujv gruywsfgcashkjbf

    Then toss in the trauma based behavior.

    Sorry. I'm clearly still ranting.
     

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