Has any one told family when they are going to ttc....

[lozzy21]

and not got the reaction they would have liked?

I was at a christaning and my aunty wasked when we are going to have kids, i responded with in a couple of years and my mam was mortified, She came out with a load of crap including im to young to me a grandma, wait till your 30, you need to wait till your brother is older. I just responded with ill make you a grandma when i want to make you a grandma.

Any one else had a reaction like this? I have a realy good relationship with my mam and i just assumed she would have been a bit more supportive.

 

[princess_bump]

oh sweetie, huge i don't no what to say, i'm surprised x x

 

[lozzy21]

Thanks hun. My mams 41 now, she will be 44 when we start ttc so she wont be that young and little bro will be nearly 5 but thats not my problem that she had another child when i was 19.

 

[carla15x]

At least she's a tiny bit prepared now!
It won't be totally unexpected when it does happens =]
&& you've still got a few years anyway so she'll prob change her mind even a tiny bit by then

Sorry I haven't told any family . . .
I just wanted to make you feel not as bad =] cos I think was a bit of an overaction from your mum (although I'm not aware of her circumstances)

Have a feeling my mum and dad won't be happy though . . .
I'll only be 20 (hopefully =])
&& fresh out of uni

xx

edit: Your mum didn't wait until she was 30 to have you . . . .

 

[Sovereign]

My family aren't bothered but thats probably coz I already got one. I'm sorry you didn't get the reaction you wanted off your mum hun x

 

[lozzy21]

edit: Your mum didn't wait until she was 30 to have you . . . .

Exactly! my mam has often said though, she dosent regret having me but regrets having me that young but ill be 24 when we start ttc and the chances are that ill be 25 minimum when lo arrives.

 

[kate.m.]

I was hinting to my mum the other day: "when did you start wanting to have a baby? Did you and Dad want it at the same time? ur so lucky 1 of u wasnt waiting for the other!" lol! So she knows that im ready, and that im just waiting for hubby. She did the usual "do all the stuff u wanna do 1st, coz u cant do things as easily once u have a baby" but i told her id already done everything i really want to do, and that the things im waiting for are "nice, but not essential". And to be honest she reacted better than i was expecting (she didnt have her 1st (me) till 33, so i was expecting her to want me to wait untill that age too). I was really surprised that she was understanding- and didnt try to put me off!

I guess you never really know someone, no matter how much you think you do?

Lozzy21, i reckon ur Mum will come round by the time u ttc. Maybe she just needs to see that you and ur oh are in it for the long haul? And the next 2 years can only strengthen that!

 

[lozzy21]

Lozzy21, i reckon ur Mum will come round by the time u ttc. Maybe she just needs to see that you and ur oh are in it for the long haul? And the next 2 years can only strengthen that!

We have been together 3 years, will be 5 and a half by the time we start trying, have been living together for 2 years which isent that long but long enough to not have rushed into things IYKWIM?

 

[Serene123]

If she didn't want to be a young grandma she should've had you later! It isn't up to her to tell you when you're ready for children.

Although I'll kill Caitlyn if she has a baby at 18 and makes me a grandma at 36

 

[kate.m.]

Lozzy21, i reckon ur Mum will come round by the time u ttc. Maybe she just needs to see that you and ur oh are in it for the long haul? And the next 2 years can only strengthen that!

We have been together 3 years, will be 5 and a half by the time we start trying, have been living together for 2 years which isent that long but long enough to not have rushed into things IYKWIM?

Yeah, thats a good amount of time! I think i started getting insanely broody at about 4 years. Now its 8 years and im going bloody crazy!

 

[lozzy21]

Although I'll kill Caitlyn if she has a baby at 18 and makes me a grandma at 36

Lmao i think ppl being grandmas at 36 sounds funny, only cos my mam had my bro at 39. Could be worse she could get pregnant at 15 and ud be a grandma at 33.

 

[ricschick]

i never told anyone when we were trying to concieve, mum was thrilled when we concieved ellie but when we got preg with lucy no 3 her reaction was 'oh no'! what a horrible reaction! wonder what her reaction will be if we have no 4 lol

but your mum will come round by then im sure x

 

[Sparky0207]

Thanks hun. My mams 41 now, she will be 44 when we start ttc so she wont be that young and little bro will be nearly 5 but thats not my problem that she had another child when i was 19.

I was in the same situation as you when I had Lucy! My mum was 44 when I had lucy and was going mad about being a young grandmother, especially as my sister is only 6 and she was concerned about them being in school together! Shes overjoyed since I had her though as my sister now has a little playmate too xxx

 

[BritAcrossSea]

I think the main thing to remember is that you'll be having this baby for you and your OH. I don't have a relationship with my mother and my family is very split. I've been down big time about the whole thing until I really focused on the fact that when we have our baby that we'll have our own family to care for. So, don't worry about if anybody else in your family isn't ready, as long as you and your OH are then that's all that matters.

 

[EstelSeren]

I've not told my mum we're going to start trying straight after the wedding! She's already told me that she wants me to wait until she's 50 to start trying (she's 47 now) and my brother's told me that if I fall pregnant soon he'll kill me!! I mean wtf! I'm waiting until I'm married and I'm an adult!! I'll be 21 when we start trying and we already have our own life! I've told my mum that it'll be MY decision when I want to start trying for kids, not hers and I just try to ignore my brother! It's one of those times when I'm glad we live 3 hours away from them!! I think it'll only be my dad who's happy about it!! Tbh, I don't think family members realise how hurtful saying stuff like that is!! Not quite as hurtful as the realisation that my mum never wanted kids in the first place!! Everyone seems to want you to work around their agendas and not have anything for yourself- it's one of the interesting things I learnt when I started planning the wedding!!

Beca :wave:

 

[lozzy21]

Thanks girls, its not just me then. I told my grandma (my dads mam) what she said and my grandma just laughed and said to tell my mam that im to get pregnant by my grandma's 70th, thats or 4 years of i think.

My mam will just have to like it, im not running my life around her wants and wishes. If i did id be in uni now studying for something i dident want to be.

 

[Fingers cross]

I haven't told my family yet that we're ttc. It was my sister's 27th at the weekend and my DH and I told both my sister's then. the younger who's 24 was really supportive and was nearly in tears at the prospect of hopefully becoming an aunt next year but my sister who's birthday it was, was quite negative. She said no don't do it, wait until you're 30 you're not ready and you'll regret it which deflated me for the rest of the night. I haven't discussed it with her since. She came out of a 6 year relationship in the new year which really upset her so i hope she doesn't think i was being insensitive!

Aaah, families are such hard work! xx

 

[Pinkgirl]

Aww hun i am so sorry you she said that, i know its not nice.
At the end of the day its up to you and OH when you want a baby, no one else, and i am pretty sure when the time comes she will love it
x

 

[LoobyLou75]

I am so sorry your mum reacted like that. Maybe she will feel differently once you are TTC or even pregnant? My mum was 39 when I had my daughter and she came round eventually and then just made jokes out of being a young granny.

We haven't told family yet. I can imagine DH's family won't be very happy even though it will be his first, as they have spent many a time trying to warn him off having them!

 

[Winter Belle]

Sorry you didn't get a good reaction hun. Maybe it was just a shock to her as something she hadn't considered just yet?

My mum and I were having a convo with our neighbour the other day and my neighbour said something about it soon being time for babies... my mum's reaction was dead serious, mouth dropped open and just plain "No chance!"
She didn't give any reason for this but tbh I am never going to make her happy in my decisions so I don't tear myself up about it anymore... I hope if she sees that I'm happy she will then be happy for me but i wont tell her when we do start TTC.

xx