Has anyone done it alone?

[Jennifurball]

Thinking ahead of myself but I am having my 2nd in Jan, I don't want anything to do with the dad, so was wondering if it is realistic to think I can manage labour on my own?

My mum will have my daughter for the time I am in hospital, I don't really comfortable with a friend or family member there if I'm honest. Has anyone else managed alone? I had a horrific first labour but my ex couldn't really 'do' much to make it any easier or less painful lol so I am thinking I will be ok.

 

[cupcake23]

You can do it. I'm sure your midwife will support you as much as you need her to, once in labour you probably won't care or be worried about doing it on your own x

 

[AnneD]

I was on my own. OH didn't want to be in the room during the birth, and, frankly, I would have been better off if he'd buggered off home or to a mate's or something. I hated the fact that he was in the corridor outside the room I was in all night - he was ill to start with (man-flu) and I knew he'd be complaining about having had no sleep (he did). So I was wprrying about the baby and about him while in labour, which I could have done without. And I think I would have been better off without him before my waters broke - he just sat there uselessly and I couldn't relax (e.g. he told me my breath smelled after I'd been sick) and concentrate on the pain. So if you ask me, the further away, the better, unless the man actually wants to be there.

 

[aidensxmomma]

I wasn't actually alone during any of my previous labors, however, with my third it wouldn't have mattered if FOB was there or not. He just didn't know what to do or anything. The nurses I had during my third labor were amazing, though, and basically did everything that a support person should do. So if it would have come down to it, I would have been fine if he wasn't there.

My SIL went through labor on her own. My brother was in the hallway having a panic attack and she did amazingly well. I think it would have been way more stressful for her had he been in the room with her.

 

[Jennifurball]

Thank you for your replies. In some cases I guess, it is a lot easier if they aren't there. Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone amazing and supportive. I am actually looking forward to it and hopefully proving I am strong enough!

 

[LoveCakes]

Good luck!

To be honest I was pretty much in my own wee world during labour. I didn't want to talk or bevtouched at all. I really wanted oh there but that is because he was the baby's dad and I wanted him to be there right from the start. I don't think he'd have been much use in a crisis though.

If you don't want the dad to be there for the baby's sake it's about what you think you need from a birth partner. Personally I found the midwives amazing at reassurance and encouragement but everyone is different.

 

[ElsMommy26]

I was completely alone for my first labor with my daughter. Dad wasn't in the picture at all, and my family was unsupportive and judgmental. I figured it'd be much less stress and I knew I could do it. Some nice nurses held my knees back while I pushed and the doctor gave me encouragement. It was still a brutal labor and I hemmoraged (the baby ended up being 9.4 pounds!) but I made it through and it honestly was the most special, beautiful moment to share with just my daughter. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

At the end of the day, what does a SO offer that is honestly all that useful when you are pushing a child out? I'll have my husband there this time around, but it's not going to make the labor any less "laborious!"

 

[ClairAye]

I hardly had people around with my second, I went into labour on Mad Friday when my mum was having drinks with her friend, they came and bugged me in the hospital for a bit from about 11pm until midnight or so then it was just me until my ex arrived (drunk so he was useless apart from using to squeeze during contractions but he was honestly as useless as a white crayon) around 3am and I gave birth just after 5am. I was mostly with my midwife and it was lovely! She was so amazing and there was something calming about being on my own! You've got this!

 

[smileyfaces]

Personally I would say yes you will be fine. I don't like being touched or fussed in labour anyway so would make no difference to me if I was on my own or not. Midwife is there for support if needed x

 

[darkriver]

Thank you for your replies. In some cases I guess, it is a lot easier if they aren't there. Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone amazing and supportive. I am actually looking forward to it and hopefully proving I am strong enough!

I am facing being on my own possibly depending what happens. I am a solo mummy anyway and dad isnt involved, my best friend will be looking after my eldest and my other one is coming from a significant distance. Due to medical reasons I cant labour naturally on my own. If they decide to induce me at the last minute then everything will be up in the air, my friend wont be able to come and I will be on my own.

 

[coquis224]

Honey I've done it 2x and honestly I was fine. The worst part were the nurses acting like I should have someone there. The first time I did it alone the baby's dad was at work and my mom was watching the other kids. then this time Baby's dad was watching other kids. It's not so bad really I promise.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Ive had my husband with me both times but honestly wouldnt have been bothered if he wasnt. He was there because he wanted to witness his babies arrival, not because it made anything easier or better for me. Everyone is different but I think youll be fine, I would definitely regret taking someone with me who I am not comfortable with just for the sake of not being alone X

 

[Jennifurball]

Thank you

It is still playing on my mind but I agree, there is nothing your partner can do to make it any less scary or painful. I will be strong!!

 

[Jessicahide]

Ok probably not in the spirit of things but we ALL do it alone, no one else is going through it but us, so i think not having a witness will not affect you at all, i am not even in this world when giving birth, let alone noticing my dh xxxxx You will do great mumma xxx

 

[Fruitmash]

I kinda wish I'd done it alone tbh, obviously didn't want DH to miss it but I forgot he was there unless he was annoying me or swanning back in with take out that I could smell but not eat! It's been nearly 5 years and he's still complaining about the sodding chair he was sat in and pointedly mentioning that yeah I was in labour but atleast I got a bed! Will be being induced again this time but have no intentions of bringing him in until it's getting close