hate not being able to attend to baby cries straight away..help

[babymumm]

hiya mummas..i am first time mum to my beautiful lil boy 7 wkz old..my problem is if im out and he gets hungry (im breastfeeding) and cries and I cnt
help him straight away I feel tremendous stress and guilt even if it jus five minutes I feel like il affect him someway..i always attend to him asap bcos I hate him to b sad and I know crying can really affect him when hes older physcololicly..so I just need sum advice cos I need to kno that if sometimes I phisically cant get to him straight away..will he be ok..i cry and feel so guilty if he cries longer than a min..hes newborn so I know itm cant spoil him..am I outtin too much pressure on myself? how can I stay calm any advice..comments welcome thanks..oh n how do I do a signiture?? xx

 

[fieryphoenix]

I had the same issue, if he cries I get very anxious and stressed. It's slowly getting better, so maybe just give it some time and you'll adjust too?

 

[Noelle610]

You're doing the right thing by responding promptly! That said, if it takes you some time to get to him it's not the end of the world. It happens, that's life! That minimal crying will not affect him negatively. As long as you're loving him and attending to him the best you can, that's what matters. Children who experience attachment issues as a result of crying when babies are typically those who have been neglected and are crying/left alone much more than the average baby.

Sounds like you're a great mom

 

[Haylee.]

Don't be too hard on yourself Hun! I was the same. I would get teary and uneasy even if I heard another baby cry when LO was a newborn. You are doing the best you can. Leaving bub for A few minutes if you have to will not affect him all at.

To make a signature, got to the top right and click User CP, then once in your User CP on the left hand side of the page there will be all different options and one of those include edit signature xx


You can get a ticker at lilypie.com x

 

[babymumm]

thanks guys just didnt realise hw much guilt id feel being a mum..its a nightmare thanks..glad I not damagin him for life..i literally read too mucj bout how ir can affect them..i just want him to know im always here n tryin to help..thanks tho feel bit better now x

 

[Pielette]

Honestly, a bit of crying is not going to damage your LO for life Please be reassured about that. Babies cry, that's their way of communicating. As adults we can say oh I feel a bit sick, or I feel tired or hungry and have a moan. That's literally what they do, they just don't have the words for it so they let us know by crying. It's not a negative thing.

You're responding to your LO quickly and that's when bonds form. He is learning this process - something upsets me, I cry, Mummy comes and comforts me.

What you've read is likely studies against CIO or cc, which are sleep training tools having nothing to do with you being unable to get to your LO for two minutes if you're on the toilet. It's a world apart!

Try to relax. I totally understand your anxiety but babies cannot be prevented from crying 24 hours a day, it's just not feasible. As he gets older you will start to see that strong bond between the two of you becoming more and more obvious and you'll know you have done an amazing job as a mum

 

[lauren28]

I remember when my first was newborn I would cry every time she cried and feel very guolty if I coildnt help her straight away. I think we are biologically programmed to be like thst to ensure that their needs are met. It does get better in time. Your baby will not have any long term negative effects becsuse you cant always respond immediately. You obviously love your baby and they will know that.

Its the same when you have a 2nd I am finding, I can't see to both of them at thd same time if they both want me. Some one has to wait but I do the best I can.

 

[Nat0619]

Honestly, a bit of crying is not going to damage your LO for life Please be reassured about that. Babies cry, that's their way of communicating. As adults we can say oh I feel a bit sick, or I feel tired or hungry and have a moan. That's literally what they do, they just don't have the words for it so they let us know by crying. It's not a negative thing.

You're responding to your LO quickly and that's when bonds form. He is learning this process - something upsets me, I cry, Mummy comes and comforts me.

What you've read is likely studies against CIO or cc, which are sleep training tools having nothing to do with you being unable to get to your LO for two minutes if you're on the toilet. It's a world apart!

Try to relax. I totally understand your anxiety but babies cannot be prevented from crying 24 hours a day, it's just not feasible. As he gets older you will start to see that strong bond between the two of you becoming more and more obvious and you'll know you have done an amazing job as a mum

This! I know it's horrid to hear your LO cry (Ciara's cry goes right through me!) But if a few minutes crying was so bad I think 100% of people would have psychological issues now! Sometimes it takes a few minutes to get what they need. Personally I'm rather fed up of seeing posts like this where a new mum is made to feel awful for not ensuring her baby doesn't cry at all. It's ridiculous. As Pielette so rightly says, there's a huge difference between a few minutes whilst you find somewhere to feed/go to the loo and leaving baby to cry for hours deliberately.

 

[AngelofTroy]

Babies cry! I bet there isn't a mum or dad out there who hasn't had to listen to their baby cry for at least 2 minutes at a time! There is a ridiculous amount of pressure on parents today, in the past nobody would have worried about a couple of unavoidable minutes. If that caused psychological problems then we'd all be screwed!! As he gets older he will have to wait sometimes, my LO is 8 months old and will cry while I make his breakfast.. He's crying because he wants breakfast, so if I stopped to comfort him it'd just prolong the crying! I try to distract him but ultimately he sometimes has to wait 5 minutes!

 

[Noelle610]

Babies cry! I bet there isn't a mum or dad out there who hasn't had to listen to their baby cry for at least 2 minutes at a time! There is a ridiculous amount of pressure on parents today, in the past nobody would have worried about a couple of unavoidable minutes. If that caused psychological problems then we'd all be screwed!! As he gets older he will have to wait sometimes, my LO is 8 months old and will cry while I make his breakfast.. He's crying because he wants breakfast, so if I stopped to comfort him it'd just prolong the crying! I try to distract him but ultimately he sometimes has to wait 5 minutes!

This

 

[babymumm]

thanks alot feel bit better now..i kno im a gud mum I just want the best fr him like we all do..really apreciate it and il try to stay calm next time he has a lil moan x