Have you ever had to just leave lo to cry through sheer exhaustion?....

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by LPF, Apr 5, 2011.

  1. LPF

    LPF Well-Known Member

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    I posted earlier about lo having a cold on top of shocking sleep problems that have been going on for 7 weeks.

    I only had just under an hours sleep last night on top of 2-3 hrs broken sleep for 7 weeks and collapsed this morning while holding him. I've been feeling faint all afternoon and like i'm not really here.

    I know if we have a night like last night im just not going to cope through the entire night without passing out again. Dh will help as much as possible but he can only do so much with a really busy job to do (he usually does bedtime til 11 then I take over) but lo has been crying nonstop all that period so I can't sleep anyway.

    I feel like it will get to the point that ill have to just leave him crying and I feel sick about it. But what do you do when they just won't stop, nothing you do helps and your endangering your own health and being able to look after lo during the day.

    Co-sleeping isn't an option, it just doesn't work for us. Im tempted to try and sleep on the nursery floor so at least I can leave my hand out for lo to know im there but I just can't manage to walk, rock, hold, shush and have him scream, claw and rip at my throat all night again.

    Just want to cry its all so hideous.....he's in complete hysterics already as he's so overtired.
     
  2. jakey1

    jakey1 Twin Mummy

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    Oh god yes!! There's only so much you can cope with hun. I've had days when they have both been so over-tired but are just fighting sleep so I've just had to put them in their cots and let them scream while I take 10 minutes to myself to gather my thoughts and calm down a little. I have even left them crying and have gone upstairs to scream into a pillow before now (obviously I've left them somewhere safe like in their playpen). I'm at home on my own with two toddlers 90% of the time and as much as I feel awful letting them cry sometimes, I only have one pair of hands so sometimes it is necessary just for my own sanity and well being. Your not alone hun and don't ever feel bad - your only human :hugs:
     
  3. jaybee

    jaybee Mum to Tobias & Alexander

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    I can totally sympathise as Tobias was just the same at your LO's age. He would sleep for 45 minutes at a time over night then wake and would only feed back to sleep, so I never got into a decent sleep!
    During the day he would only sleep in my arms and so I did doze with him on the sofa. But again only for 45 minutes at a time!
    I never actually collapsed through sleep deprevation, but it was close. (I have to say, that getting out every day even just for a little walk helped immensley, although it was very hard to get the energy up!) I would SIT in the shower crying because I was too tired to lift my arms to wash my hair!

    As u say, it does sound like LO is way overtired. Is there anything that works to put him to sleep? lullabies, white noise, the car, the pram? Once LO starts getting some sleep it will get better (as they say sleep begets sleep). Can you lay on the sofa with LO on you safely and have him doze off and you doze too?
    It also highly likely that LO is in or has been through the 4 month sleep regression. \which screws with their sleep something chronic.

    I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but please know that it will end. LO will start sleeping better. I Promise. xx
     
  4. LPF

    LPF Well-Known Member

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    That's made me feel a little better, thanks.

    Any other thoughts?
     
  5. Kalah

    Kalah Guest

    Hate to admit it, but yes I''ve felt like that and got to the point where I've had to put her down and walk away.
     
  6. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    Many times. You are not superwoman, none of us are. If you need to walk away then do it. It's the right thing to do then to build up anger and resentment from exhaustion.
     
  7. mrsthomas623

    mrsthomas623 MommyToNolanAndPregnant!

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    God yes! I cannot count the times I had to leave him while I went into the bedroom and just cried. Also, is there any way LO could have a milk issue? This sometimes causes sleep issues because it is painful on their tummies. I hope things start improving for you! :flower:
     
  8. mrsthomas623

    mrsthomas623 MommyToNolanAndPregnant!

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    I just wanted to add, that a few days after Nolan turned 6 months I started letting him CIO when all else failed. Nolan cannot be comforted with hugs or cuddles when he is upset, he just needs a safe place to throw his fit. I was also getting tired of coming out of his room after a failed attempt at calming him with scratches on my face and neck and a horrible migraine. It was a last resort for us, but it has worked for us.
     
  9. kmac625

    kmac625 Mom to baby Clara

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    I've left her in her crib and gone into the bathroom, closed the door and turned on the shower so I couldn't hear the crying for a break a few times. I'm lucky though as Clara is rarely a fussy baby, but I think as a result when she is really cranky and won't stop crying I have no tolerance for it.
     
  10. Peachypoo

    Peachypoo 2 angels & another baking

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    i also suggest that you take some vitamins for yourself... it will help your body to cope better... its very difficult looking after little ones... try and enjoy it... forget the housework catch up on your sleep when he sleeps... your health comes first...
    things do get better, and some days are harder then others...
    hope you feel better...xx
     
  11. Farie

    Farie Well-Known Member

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    Yes, its ok to walk away if you need to. Get some good multivits and a iron supplement too.
    Also, and I dont mean this rudely at all, but if you LO is that bad you might want to see a proper paediatrician (not a GP) he could have SR or allergies that are making him so uncomfy - its not normal behavour to scream and claw like that for no reason :flow:
     
  12. Peachypoo

    Peachypoo 2 angels & another baking

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    i agree with farie
     
  13. LPF

    LPF Well-Known Member

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    He only screams and claws at you when he's so overtired. He's always had difficulty self settling in the night and gets really worked up because he's so frustrated, but I feel guilty leaving him lying down crying. Once a bad night starts though it gets worse and worse.
     
  14. stardust599

    stardust599 Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun

    Macy is the exact same as Evan. She gets so over-tired, over-stimulated, wound up and frustrated that she can't get to sleep. If I let her get to that point she claws, headbuts screams and fights. She also couldn't sleep without her dummy and I had to sleep with my hand in the crib all night popping it back in every 20minutes - I got no sleep! I decided enough was enough, I just couldn't cope and she needed me to be able to function during the day for her.

    Will he sleep if the pram is being rocked? Google an "automatic pram rocker" that might get him to nap at first and then he won't be so stressed at bedtime.

    I starting in the morning and for her naps I started PUPDCD - have a look at babysleepanswers.co.uk, the book and forum was the best £10 I ever spent!!! PUPDCD improved things so much, it was hard for 3 days but we did it and I got her self-settling about 70% of the time. When she was 4months I moved onto CC and she now self-settles awake at bedtime without a dummy and sleeps all night.

    Also do a proper wind down, an hour before bed dim the lights and have some quiet time, cuddles, read a story, sing a few soft lullabies, then do a quiet bath in the dark, take him into bedroom for pjs and gently rock him while giving him bottle. Then put him down drowsy but awake and start whatever sleep training method you choose without any props such as dummy (this is really important). I promise it'll work if you're consistent.

    Can anyone else have him for just one night or can you buy earplugs (the wax type) and sleep in another room if OH is off. Take a sleeping pill if you have to (Sominex are excellent and can be bought from behind the counter in the chemist. One refreshing sleep will make such a difference before you start.

    I know sleep training doesn't think good but I really think it's time for it now, I've read some of your other posts.

    Hugs xx
     

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