Having a career, and children?

[Lirpa11]

Just wondering what your thoughts are on this. Can women have both? Do you have both? How have you handled it?

I'm a tax accountant and love my job. I'm also terribly broody and would love a baby. To me, my career can go on hold for a bit while we start a family, but I do believe that I can get back into my career afterwards. Juggling a family and a career may be difficult at times, but I think it's doable. I just hope I have a workplace that is flexible and understands that family comes first.

 

[spicyorange]

plenty of women mange it especially these days - it also depends what OH does - its proabbly difficult for you both to be very career driven but i see no reason why not - go for it girl!

 

[Lirpa11]

DH has a good job that pays enough that I don't have to work, but I enjoy what I do. I know that having a baby will slow down the career side of things, but I'm ok with that. I can't wait to start TTC

 

[comotion89]

both my parents worked and it was hard but was fine , I'm a nurse and my oh an IT engineer we both want to excel in our careers but we will be having children too, I dunno it'll work we will make it work

 

[MummyJade]

I work, and plan on going back to work once i am ready too... OH is in the Army so has a good enough job for me to stay home but I dont think i will want too once child is at school x

 

[lozzy21]

You may find your priorities change. Before Niamh I wanted to progress but now I just see it as a job that pays for our luxuries

 

[MissN8]

hi i am hoping to have both, i couldn't afford not to work

 

[Inoue]

I'm a dental nurse in the private sector. I went back to work when LO was 4 months old and its worked out quite well for me . As Lozzi21 said, I have stopped thinking of it as career progression (we were just starting Impantology when I left for mat leave, I declined to get involved when they asked me post mat leave) and I now also think of it as the money I use to splurge on the finer things in life. It is do-able x

 

[Mrs Eleflump]

I need to make having both career and kids work! I'm the main earner by a substantial amount, so me not going back or cutting my hours is not an option. It would make much more sense for hubby to go part time.

I've worked so long and hard on my career, and I can't see my interest in it dropping off after having kids. I'm training for an advanced role at the moment and really enjoying it. It won't be easy, I realise that, but I also know I'm not the first woman to do it, and we'll make it work somehow

 

[aimee-lou]

butting in slightly, but for me it's not been possible. I'm ok with this but the mourning for all the hard work I did and have now lost was difficult.

I don't mean it would be impossible for me to go back, I'm sure if I worked hard it would be, it's just that the work would be harder than the reward it brought. At the moment I'm a SAHM and my hubby is a full time student. He'll hopefully be qualifying as a teacher in 2 years time, and then I'll start to think about careers again. Until then, if we need the money I'll work in any old job that works for the family. However returning to my old line of work would require me basically going back to square 1, and working all the hours god sent for very little money or recognition for a good few years (I used to work in museums).

Your priorities do change though - before children I was all about my career and was actually doing well. Having my 1st changed all that and now with 3, I'm starting to think about changing tack altogether and staying at home for the foreseeable.

 

[MellyH]

I think there are a lot of careers where it can definitely slow you down, and maybe even stall you. I'm in research science, which has the whole 'publish or perish' mentality, and it can be very difficult to continue progressing (or even maintaining!) if you have extended periods of lowered productivity.

Another friend of mine is in government in Australia (the treasury department) and has been stalled for the last three years, getting passed up for promotions, because of time she's had away to have her two kids. She actually just finally got a (temporary) promotion, so that's something at least.

 

[Jaxvipe]

Its definitely do-able! And with an accounting degree you can definitely do alot of work from home if you wanted to as well.

 

[hopeandpray]

I don't know how I'm going to manage! I'm training to be a doctor and my OH is doing engineering research.

 

[sausages]

I found i couldn;t keep a career as well as cope with family life, but i think it's a very personal thing. My priorities completely changed and i found i didn't WANT to try to keep going at my career and now i work part time for the same employer. They keep hinting at me going back to work full time, and i think they would have me do that tomorrow, but i am all too aware of how fleeting this time with young children is. I figure if i wait until they are in high school that's only going to be a maximum of maybe 12/13 years from now if we have another. I will only be 45 years old with 20 long years of a career ahead of me.

Unfortunately with our losses i went on maternity leave a few times before i actually got to do it for real. That had a huge impact on my career. I think once employers know you will be having a family they tend to discount you from promotions and things. Or they certainly did for me. 6 months before i got pregnant the first time i had a large pay rise and a company car. Just before i told them about being pregnant they were talking to me about a promotion. It was practically a done deal, they were just hashing out the details. Then i got pregnant and a colleague got the job instead. At the time i wasn't concerned because i was looking forward to being a mum. Then we lost him... and lost another... and before i knew it my priorities were completely different and our timescale pushed back quite considerably.

I see the colleague who got "my" job quite often - and i have NEVER mentioned that i would have had that job, because it's not necessary and besides she is bloomin good at it and totally deserved it too. Now she has left the company and is working higher up somewhere else with tons more money and an awesome car. It does make me think sometimes what i might have been doing had things been different. Not that i would change my life now for anything, it's wonderful, but you still wonder...

Sometimes when i am working and i get stuck into it i wish i could have a split life. I wish i could both work full time and be a full time stay at home mum too. Trying to do both sometimes feels like i am being half arsed at both iykwim. I don't seem to have enough time to really make a difference at work that i'd like to and the same for home. Working 4 hours a day makes a huge dent in home life that i could do without!!

 

[loeylo]

I already have what most people would consider a "good" job, it pays well and I love it. I am still at the first step of the pay scale, but it automatically rises annually for the next few years, so for now, progression in my career sort of comes naturally. I want to have kids whilst I am still a regular teacher, then maybe when they go to school I will apply for promoted positions. The beauty of it is that I will only he working when they are at school (if I do planning and marking at home) - even before they are at school, we have it planned out so that we don't need to rely on either of us reducing our hours, so we are very lucky.

 

[AliBiz]

I have both, as much as I would love to be home with lo, we can't afford for me to. Its not tough though but I reckon it would be if she was in childcare but we are lucky enough to have my parents looking after her. I will say though that progression up the career ladder takes a back seat now, just until she is older

 

[LockandKey]

tons and tons of women have both. My mom raised 3 kids as a single mother and had a career as a nurse for over 20 yrs. Personally I don't have a job now, but plan on going back to college soon so that by the time both my kids are in school full time, I can hopefully start working.

 

[LDC]

I would say you can have both, I feel like I do. Sure things are difficult sometimes as I miss lo like mad when I'm at work (I now have a pic of her at my speak and tbh a lot of the time I'm so busy before I realise it's time to go home)

I'm lucky that my job fits in well with ohs and lo goes to nursery twice a week and is with oh, myself or my mil the rest of the time. The guilt was a massive issue to begin with which I think is a natural thing when you've been on maternity for a long time (if you're lucky enough to afford or have that time off).

I'm really pleased with how everything has gone tbh, and lo has settled so well at nursery, it makes me feel much better for when she is at school and has that interaction and stimulation that I don't think I'd be able to give her if I were at home all the time.

I definitely think it depends on your own situation though xx

 

[Okela]

I think it's possible! I'm running my own company. It's a lot of hard work, but I do a lot of work from home so I get to spend time with the lo. I think the question is more 'is it doable'? The answer to that one depends on your situation. Is it hard to have both? Yes. It's a lot of work, and sometimes you might wish you had chosen differently. But it's very rewarding in the end. Well, that's my opinion at least!

 

[Eline]

My partner and I are both working full time and actually, even at the moment I feel like I can't cope with both work and the household and we haven't got kids get. I get home earliest at six thirty in the evening and than I still have to cook. It's often seven thirty of 8 pm before we have supper. I never feel like doing housework after that and the weekends are packed with meeting family and friends.

Though I have a good job, I'm not at all ambitious and sometimes I think it would be better for me to tune down to a desk job with better hours.