Having hard time with break up

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by NewMommy1, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. NewMommy1

    NewMommy1 1st baby, 1st trimester

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    Everything was great before I got pregnant. He was understanding, compassionate, and totally seemed committed to us. But when I found out I was pregnant, he totally did a 360 and our relationship has been on a decline since we found out last March. Prior to me getting pregnant, I specifically had a conversation with him and we had an agreement about abortion not being an option. But that all changed once I got pregnant. In the beginning, he told me he felt "trapped" because he didn't want me to keep our baby (even though we never used condoms and he would always cum in me knowing I wasn't on birth control..yeah we were very careless). Now we are totally broken up. My daughter was born in November and we've been broken up since 1 week after she was born (so for 2 months now). It's really hard for me, but it seems so easy for him. We were together for 6 months prior to me getting pregnant and have had a long distance relationship since the beginning (we went to college together, so we've known each other for ~5 years). I realize that part of the reason that we broke up was my fault, but I felt like I was constantly being ignored in the relationship. Part of it was built up frustration and part of it was baby blues. I lashed out at him over something very minute. But it was from months of built up frustration with him. He was so judgemental, and despite telling me that he wanted to marry me, he would go behind my back and tell his friends that he planned on giving me child support. What I can't understand is why it's so easy for him to just break up with me and why is it so hard for me to not care. I found out in a very embarrassing way that he blocked me on facebook (one of my friends told me). He's sent inappropriate messages to other girls (while I was pregnant) and I forgave him! But he can't forgive me for things I've done (I kicked him out 3 times after some very heated arguments, but was nice enough to take him to a hotel) I feel so bad because all the energy I'm spending on him is energy i'm taking away from my beautiful baby girl....:sad2:
     
  2. midwestbelle

    midwestbelle Well-Known Member

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    EXACT same thing here except we lasted a bit longer. from the careless sex- to abortion - to trapped- marrying - kicking him out - innapropriate emails. just keep trying to get over him, or try it again. sorry not much help. but :hugs:
     
  3. N1kki

    N1kki Guest

    dont even think about him not worth your breathe or tears!
     
  4. mumtofour81

    mumtofour81 Mother of 4

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    I know the pain you're going through because I've recently split from my bf of two years and it hurts like hell although that relationship was far from healthy but hey kiddo you've said it yourself you wasting all that energy and emotion on him, why not give it your beautiful baby girl who will love you unconditionly. Come on lets join forces and lets get over these loosers xx
     
  5. caiasmama

    caiasmama New Member

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    Hey hunni.
    I broke up with my ex over 3 months ago now. All because his ex, who has his older child, refused to answer his phone calls. She wouldn't let him see his eldest son so he walked away from me and our baby. His reason being that she comes from a really bad background and his other child needs him more than ours because I come from a better family background.
    I think he's back living with her. I still see him when I take LO to see him & it hurts so bad.
    I even text him earlier asking him if there's any hope for us. Sad I know.
    But... I've realised that I'm sooo much better without him. His relationship with her before didn't work out -doubt it will now.
    & I have the best gift ever in MY son. Put your energy into doing something that will benefit both you and your LO. Be selfish. This is yours and your baby's life & we shouldn't let anyone EVER change that. Don't focus on anything unless it's a positive influence.
    Next time I see my ex I'm going to smile sweetly and wish him the best, head held high.
    I hope he kicks himself for the rest of his life!
    xx
     
  6. NewMommy1

    NewMommy1 1st baby, 1st trimester

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    Thanks ladies. It really helps to talk to people who understand. Some days are better than others, but I'm getting through it. They'll regret it one day, and if not then it's their loss...but it just sucks we have to suffer from broken hearts.
     

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