Head is up my A**E

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by emzlouize, Oct 19, 2008.

  1. emzlouize

    emzlouize mum 2 Aidan & Angel Mason

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    oh laydees i dont know wot to do :-( since about week 7-8 i have felt really really like i dont want to be with OH anymore, we dont live together we are both with parents still, and b4 preg i slept over at his EVERY day and we were happy obv coz we were TTC...

    anyways like i sed since then i dont think i have stayed over at his once, i dont want him near me or even touching me, he was moaning about sex coz we havent had it since i found out i was preg at 4 weeks.. but i have told him how i feel about risking anything etc and he understands... but he keeps saying "oh we can have sex soon when 12 weeks have gone coz baby is safe bla bla bla" so yesterday i lost my rag with him and said "LISTEN I AM NOT GOIN TO HAVE SEX AT ANY POINT IN THIS PREGNANCY!" he went into a little sulk but never sed anythin else about it after tha.

    i keep talkin to my best friend and have been tellin her for weeks i dont want to be with him, i dont find him attractive anymore and i am seeing him like 2-3 times a week if he is lucky coz i simply dont want to see him, he keeps askin me to stop pushing him away and i have sed that i jst want to be on my own coz im ill (m/s) but he doesnt understand!

    i dont want to tell him i dont want to be with him coz this will break his heart! he even sed to me b4 by txt "WHAT ARE YA OIN TO DO WHEN WE GET THE HOUSE? KICK ME OUT EVERY FEW DAYS?" how can i tell him i dont even want to live with him??

    my head is mashed i dont want to hurt him coz he isnt strong with emotions he is really in love with me and like obbsessed i love him too but am not in love.

    im gettin upset writin this now coz i dno wot im gna do.

    sorry for the rank girls needed to get it off my chest :cry:
     
  2. Cariad_bach

    Cariad_bach mum to 2 boys and 2 girls

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    Aww hun i dont know what to say....

    ...only you know whats right for you, Try not to decide anything when your feeling hormonal tho.....the other day i wanted to kill my OH and now i love him again.....altho you did say you'd felt like it for a while...

    Follow your heart hun and be happy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. emzlouize

    emzlouize mum 2 Aidan & Angel Mason

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    thanks hun, i have been planning my future with my twins and i alone in my head without realising i have been missing him out from it! :(
     
  4. Laura--x

    Laura--x Guest

    Aww hun :hugs: i can kind of relate to how you feel, It's not that i dont want to be with my oh anymore, just everything he does is making me hate him more and more and i feel im going to crash one of these days and tell him to get the hell out of my life.

    I dont really know what to suggest hun. How did you feel for him b4 you were pregnant? Hormones are a crazy thing and they can send you seriously mental :rofl:, it might just be your hormones that are making you feel this way, i know when im having a 'good' hormone day, i love my oh to bits, but other days i want to strangle him to death! :rofl:

    Have a serious talk with him, tell him how you feel, be honest with him. Maybe take a break for a week/2 weeks, however long you need, and see how you feel then?
     
  5. juliespencer9

    juliespencer9 Well-Known Member

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    maybe your feeling like this coz your hormones are all over the place at the mo, do u think it could be that?
    try not to look at the bad side to him,it could be coz your preg and your sort of saying to yourself...right is this really what i want? if you get what i mean.x
     
  6. emzlouize

    emzlouize mum 2 Aidan & Angel Mason

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    well every day he says i dont know wot i would do if i lost you emma it would kill me.. and he says it atleat 3 times aday. i cringe when he says it..

    i posted a thread a few days ago saying we had finnished it was for about 3 days and every day he begged and begged and begged like a stalker for 1 more chance, i jst know it would cause hell if he knew how i really felt.

    :cry:
     
  7. emzlouize

    emzlouize mum 2 Aidan & Angel Mason

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    yes i know wot u mean, i se him aas a friend now and i need to do something about it so he can get used to bein a single dad b4 they come :(
     
  8. mummymadness

    mummymadness Mummy to 4

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    Its a hard situation to be in hun ...
    What ever you decide , Make sure you think hard about it .
    Because it could just be your pregnancy emotions making you feel very different and if you change your mind he may of moved on with some one else , I dont mean to sound condesending , And wont go to far in to my personal details . But when i had layla i had this sudden fear of been with my OH and i felt like i didnt want to even be in his company let alone share a bed with him .
    I had an affair , He left me (Wich is what i hope he would do) .. After about 3 weeks on my own with layla and allot of thinking i realised i wasnt myself .. I needed to chat to some one impartial .. After a lot of talking and realising i was lucky enough my OH understood my feelings and trusted me enough to come back to me , I thank my lucky stars i realised quickly what i wanted .

    But thats just my personal story hun, You might be compleatley different . If you know for sure you are not happy , Then go make yourself happy hun . Your feelings are important and if you need to not be with him, Try sitting him down and explaining that you are not happy .
    I hope you find happiness in any descision you make hun , Its not nice to have your head all mashed up so do whats right for you hun .
    Good luck . xxxxx .
     
  9. mrsholmes

    mrsholmes Well-Known Member

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    I think your really strong for not just being with him for the babys stake, it could be the hormones as the other girls are saying, u could ask him for break to clear your head x
     
  10. emzlouize

    emzlouize mum 2 Aidan & Angel Mason

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    aww i know i really dont know what to do coz i know if i tell him how i am feeling it will jst case agro between us and i really cba with it! :(:( ill giv it a few more weeks or so to see how i feel :( xx
     
  11. Janisdkh

    Janisdkh Well-Known Member

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    It could very well be the hormones. I would just be careful and make extra sure this is what you really want. I wish you all the best girl. I would try and wait it out. Btw it's very hard to find love and for someone to love you back So I just hope you make the right choice on how you feel. Don't think about whats best for the babies because staying with someone you don't love is heart ache and torture down the road. But imagine it is the hormones. You could be making the biggest mistake of youre life. Hugs
     
  12. emzlouize

    emzlouize mum 2 Aidan & Angel Mason

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    thankyou i understand about the hormones thats why my head is so mashed atm coz i dont know what to do! guess i will jst wait it out! xx
     
  13. Janisdkh

    Janisdkh Well-Known Member

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    I feel so bad for you babes. There are a tun of symptoms I would never want to get in pregnancy and that is one of them. If you ever need to chat I got msn!
     
  14. emzlouize

    emzlouize mum 2 Aidan & Angel Mason

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    aww thankyou! i dont have msn tho i had it a while back but sent my lapto to get fixed and have never got it back coz it wont download onto it now neither will limewire! :hissy: :(
     
  15. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

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    [/QUOTE]



    well every day he says i dont know wot i would do if i lost you emma it would kill me.. and he says it atleat 3 times aday. i cringe when he says it..

    i posted a thread a few days ago saying we had finnished it was for about 3 days and every day he begged and begged and begged like a stalker for 1 more chance, i jst know it would cause hell if he knew how i really felt.

    :cry:[/QUOTE]

    Yes maybe your hormonal ...but it sounds to me like he already as a idea how you feel and is guilt tripping you by sayying it would kill him ...You maybe need time apart where you can think without the guilt tripping he his doing ..also point out time apart means time apart and its not good for baby for him to cause you stress and should do as you wish
    hugs Serina
     
  16. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    I felt exactly the same except we weren't TTC. Being pregnant made me realise that we weren't right for eachother. I was right, we've broken up!
     
  17. bethyb

    bethyb Expecting our third!!!

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    just dont make any rash decisions, think things through and then make decision. What I will say is though that the guy prob doesnt know whether hes coming or going and will be scared hes going to lose u and the babies.. If u need time apart tell him u are struggling with ur emotions and u need a break and ask him to respect u although tell him ur not running off and will keep him informed about the babies and the concentrate on u and what u want babe without any pressure.
    thats just my advice. good luck babes, thinking of u xxx
     
  18. hypnorm

    hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    Hard one as you obviously loved him enough to start TTC'ing with him, but living together is another hurdle completely.
    It could just be hormones as the others have said, they do very strange things to you!
    Good luck, do you have family support should you go your seperate ways?
     
  19. charliesmom

    charliesmom Dad, daughter, 2 chis

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    So what is he, your sperm donor?? I don't understand why in general, people get pregnant outside of marriage, which is a really huge committement, then on the drop of a dime because of their own selfish "feelings" they decide to subject their new baby(s) to a life with a single parent. That irritates me! Why don't you put yourself in his shoes? Guys NEED sex to be happy (this is a fact!). Or any type of sexual attention. If you can't give him A, there are B, C, D...infinity. You're being incredibly selfish and I have to say my mind. You need to figure out what is wrong with you (why you are no longer attracted to him, yet a month ago, you're TRYING TO CONCEIVE A BABY WITH HIM (A LIFE TIME COMMITTEMENT), before you sabbatage your baby(s) happiness. Really, I think you're just being OVERLY hormonal and you're taking it all out on your poor bf!
     
  20. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

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    I must say this is harsh she was only asking for advice :hissy:
    A unhappy mum will equal unhappy baby,s so please bare this in mind
    Everybody has a right to be happy and SEX is not everything
     

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