Health visitors

[Sammylou]

I'm not technically due to join in in the baby group for a couple more weeks, small one is due to join us in another 3 weeks but I've just had the health visitor round for a 'pre baby' visit and was wondering if this was the norm now (I'm sure the health visitor never came out before I had my first son who is 5 1/2).

I found her to be quite patronising, we've lived here for 4 years now and have had no contact from her for our son. We registered with the doctors when we moved in and he's been at nursery from 2 1/2 and is now at school. But she started going on about his 'development' and how he wouldn't have had any 'assesments' and basically acting as if it was a major problem.

I'm not breast feeding (please don't shoot me down, I've given it alot of thought and I know I wouldn't feel comfortable, wouldn't want people round, wouldn't go out and would probably resent my baby for it. All in all I feel that a bottle fed baby with a happy mom is better off than a breast fed baby with an unhappy mother). But as soon as I mentioned that, her tone changed and I feel she spoke down to me. She also began to lecture me about having an elective section (I have severe SPD, a bad hernia and had an emergancy c section with my son plus the hospital I have to go to is almost 2 hours drive away) the consultant is fine with my choice and my reasons for it but she started going on about how 'rewarding' having a 'natural' birth is.

Does anyone know if they have a legal obligation to see/weigh/assess my baby or can I refuse let them come and not go to the clinics? I'm thinking wait until I get out of hospital and then write a letter to them saying that I feel she spoke down to me and that I don't feel that there is any need for her to 'assess' my child, assure them that if I feel there is any problems that I will seek medical assistance from a doctor and then be free to bring my child up without her judging me. Or would this possibly flag up up as a 'problem' or a 'concern'?

Sorry for the rant but it really got to me that she walked into my house, spoke to me as if I had been hiding my son from her and questioned his development and my parenting of him (he's at a tiny but really good school if there was a problem with my parenting they would have spotted it), then dispite the fact that I could justify my decisions to her about feeding and c-section she proceded to go on about how wrong I was and how I need to give it more thought - hello I've thought of nothing else for the last year.

 

[summer rain]

Hi

I'm so sorry; I've experienced very similar. In our old area the HVs were very hands off though one did come around unnannounced when my second youngest son was about a month old (they never came at 10 days as they are supposed to) she was quite bossy and tried to say I probably had PND, because my kids were acting up and being silly! In this area though they are suffocating, they are only based around the corner, when we moved here we didn't 'check in' with the health visitors and they got in contact when one of my kids had to go to A and E, they sent one health visitor round to update the kids details. My boys are home educated at the moment and legally I had no obligation to tell the local authorities of this, although it was something I was going to do anyway. When that health visitor found out my kids are home educated she reported it to the council, even though legally she had no obligation or even right to do so, and she didn't even remember my name or how to spell my son's name correctly. The education department were basically told I was just keeping my kids at home and not teaching them anything; and it took a long time to put right; and they are still suspicious of me. I wanted to report her; but she left this particular clinic at least. Also the one who came around for my son's new baby check the other week; is insisting on visiting in another week or so and hopes to visit every three weeks, she also tried to say I was going to develop PND because I have had depression in the past and depression runs in the family. She then tried to say all my other episodes of depression sounded like they were actually PND; even though most were before I had kids, duh! She also tried to bully me into having the BCG vaccine for my son.

You'd be well within your rights legally to say if you have any problems you'll go through your GP, health visitors are not doctors and are not qualified to diagnose or tell you how to feed your child et al. You're also under no obligation to let them into your home or go to the clinic, it can occasionally cause problems as the more vindictive of their ilk will sometimes get social services involved but what I'd advise is asking to be seen by a different health visitor if necessary for the new baby check and then not after that.

 

[Eala]

She sounds like a right cow I would speak to your midwife, they should know the policy in your area. It could be that you could go somewhere else for the post-natal checks for your LO, I know our hospital offered that service.

You could also phone your GP and ask if there is another health visitor whom you could see, and explain what you've said here about her. She must have a supervisor somewhere, and I think you'd be very justified in writing a letter of complaint.