Heart set on home birth but...

[casann]

My Auntie has terrified me saying that she is completly against home births as her daughter would have died if she wasn't at hospital . This was 27 years ago though . I'm guessing that midwives hav emany ways of knowing in advance if there will be a complication right ??
I'm such a worry wort and the closest hospital to me is around 30 min away so just panicing at the idea of something going wrong .
Reassurance needed please xx

 

[hayley x]

I think if you have a home birth you have to weigh up the pos/negs, its not something you do lightly. There are positive and negative storys for home births just as there are hospital births and its a decision you have to make thats best for your family. Although times have changed there is obviously still some risk involved. Hope I've made sense x

 

[casann]

I think if you have a home birth you have to weigh up the pos/negs, its not something you do lightly. There are positive and negative storys for home births just as there are hospital births and its a decision you have to make thats best for your family. Although times have changed there is obviously still some risk involved. Hope I've made sense x

You have thank you and you have also made a very good point about there being risks on both sides . I really do want a home birth for so many reasons such as i hat ehospitals and we have noone to look after my son so My Fiance would have to miss the birth ect . Gr just so paroniod . Wish my Auntie hadn't said anything and now if i do definatly decide on it she'll think i'm selfish and putting my baby at risk thus making me feel guilty about it . Sorry i'm truely not making any sense lol need sleep !!x

 

[Mervs Mum]

It's very easy for someone to make a flippant remark like 'my baby would have died if I were at home'. The reason for the emergency may have been because they were in hospital but of course you'd never be so insensitive to say so.

At the end of the day there are pros and cons and you have to weigh them up for YOU and your direct family. For me having my last baby at home was safer than in hospital in my opinion and it would be the same for any more. What's most important in my opinion is that a woman is in the place SHE feels most comfortable, relaxed and safe and not where makes others more comfortable be it home, hospital or wherever x

 

[Jenniflower]

That seems like such a vague remark and in my opinion and little over dramatic. What were even the reason as to why her baby may have died? I'm saying it's not true what I just hope that you see is that if there were an incident where the baby was in danger then that is what you have the midwife for. They are well trained to know when and how to transfer if needed. You would be rushed to the hospital, the amount of time taking to get there would be fully on the midwifes mind, and then yes perhaps you would have some sort of surgeries that thank the Lord we have now in the 21st century that could save your life or hers. The problem with statements like your Aunt's is that it's not the norm.

That all said, you should definitely talk to you midwife about your concern. If you speak with her that you're afraid of the distance she will be able to put your mind at ease and she will also be aware that you may be more comfortable transferring for something unknown as opposed to waiting to see if it sorts itself out.

The things some people don't realize about homebirths is that you're not doing it alone. That is a completely separate type of birth, one that is called unassisted. Homebirths have qualified midwifes present to attend to you if an emergency were to arise.

In the end don't worry about what she says hun. She would be very self righteous to sit there and call you selfish about how you want to birth your baby when you doing the exact opposite. You're ensuring that you give the best possible birth to your baby that you can.

 

[casann]

Awww thank you ladies . You have really put things into prespective for me . As long as everything is ok with the baby nearer the time i will definatly have a homebirth and guilt free thanks to you . xxx

 

[NaturalMomma]

"My baby would have died if I weren't in the hospital" is a very common comment about homebirth. How would they know they would have died? Why would they have died? Was it one of the many interventions they do in the hospital? Because a lot of complications are from that in the first place. There are a few things were it's best to be in the hospital on the mom's and babies side. Like pre-e or another advanced complication, out of control GD, baby in transverse lie, baby with a heart condition, mom with a heart condition, placenta covering the cervix, things like that. Most if not all can be determined prior to labor. Pre-e would be the exception. While it normally starts around 28 weeks, it can show up during labor or at birth, however, that is rare.

Don't let other people's stories get to you. They probably have no clue about the safety of homebirth, the not so safe interventions. It typically takes 20-30 minutes for the c-section room to be prepped anyways. Even when it's an emergency and the woman gets rushed off that second, the Doctor has been normally talking to staff and they've already prepared the room because they say saw it coming and then told her when it was time. There are some things where it needs to be done right now and it comes out of no where, but again, rare.

 

[smam]

I had that comment from my nan right up until I had my son with her and my grandfather outside my bedroom. She had pre eclampsia with my aunt (38 years ago) but i explained that I was very low risk and I didn't want to go to hospital.. my parents live in Spain and if he'd have come at any other time I wouldn't have anyone to look after my daughter plus I had a horrible experience with her at the hospital. This time I was so relaxed and actually enjoyed my labour and HB.

The MW monitor you and baby every 15 mins here and examine you every 2 hours. I didn't call them til I was about 5cms as I had been able to cope with the contractions (10 hours) with walking and swaying until then. The MW's are very highly trained and normally have been working together for a while so that puts you at ease, unfortunately I didn't have the MW I had seen antenatally as she was on holiday but the ones I had were brilliant and talked me me through everything, I didn't feel like I was just a statistic with them, I also let their students be there for the birth (it was like picadilly circus in my house that day lol!) They tell you in advance that they won't let it get to a life or death situation, if there is any worry about you or the baby, they'll transfer.

Sorry if this is a bit waffly and doesn't make sense, I'm feeding my little man lol! HTH x