Heartbreak :(

[QTPie]

Oh huge hugs

forget him, get your LOs things from his house then cut all contact you deserve better than to be that and so does your daughter, it will be hard but its for the best he'll realise what a stupid child he is being and will be the one that regrets it whereas you will have your daughter xx

I pretty much agree with this I am afraid. It makes me very, very sad, but it sounds as though he isn't up to the responsibilities of being a partner (through thick and thin) or a Dad (no Dad in their right mind would say those things...

Men often suffer terror and may leave their pregnant partner when the thought of a baby starts to sink in... and some of them see sense (if the relationship is basically very good) and get back together. If your relationship is truly in trouble and that is what he really thinks, then it doesn't sound good at all. I am afraid it sounds as though your OH is a REAL idiot. . Honestly, you would be better off without him

The most important thing is to get yourself a good support network (family, friends etc) to help you through this - the existing depression, him being such an idiot, the pregnancy, the birth and get you on the right foot with the baby... You need real people to help you get through that.

You can do this and you will have a gorgeous baby girl out of it who will light up your life. It wont be easy, but you can do it. If money/housing is an issue, then get in touch with the Citizen's Advice Bureau and make sure you get any benefits reviewed. You shoudl also seek maintenance from your OH - whether he likes it or not, he DOES have some responsibility towards your child.

Am wishing you lots of strength to get through this

QT

 

[kayleigh&bump]

for a 26 year old, he sounds like a 12 year old! I think your better off without him. I know you love him, and probably cant imagine yourself without him, but trust me it will get easier. If you dont leave him, he will just wear you down until eventually you get to the point where you have had enough. You need to do what is right for you and your child. I dont think any child needs to be caught up in that tbh.

I know how hard it is, we have all been there hunny. But in a few months you will look back and think what the hell was i doing!! pm me if you need to talk xxx

 

[Buffy71]

Well if he has someone else.... she can be bloody miserable instead of you now, as he wont change honey and will always be a spiteful little child.

Silly silly boy - 26 years old and acting like a child.

Big hugs to you.xxx

 

[MoonMuffin]

thanks girls, im 20 and hes 26 in a few days, i was diagnosed with depression 7 months and its taking me a while to get back to myself, im just angry with him going out in town all the time, wasting money that we need and i asked him why hes been ignoring me these past few days and thats what i got

Maybe he doesn't really understand what depression is? I know how much it can change you and it's not your fault. Also you can't take anything for it while PG that I know of. I had Post Natal Depression and it was awful, I was so angry for no reason, lashed out at my DH, cried a lot and was really just plain depressed. I'm finally back to normal now but it was tough.
Just go get the stuff he's talking about, and ignore him for a while. Focus on you and your baby and try to be happy, once he sees that your fine on your own then he wont have anything negative to say.

 

[Kittee]

How long were you two dating before the baby came along? A lot of men are twits to begin with but the moment they feel "trapped" their true ugly heads rear up.

 

[EmmanBump]

How long were you two dating before the baby came along? A lot of men are twits to begin with but the moment they feel "trapped" their true ugly heads rear up.

two years

 

[Kittee]

Doh- still could be baby panic. You had no idea he was this way before?

 

[EmmanBump]

no its totally out of the blue hun, weve had a rocky month, like really rocky, i dnt care the way he spoke to me but saying he doesnt want to be part of lillys life is so out of order, and he could have just broke up with me, i mean for god sake hes a law lecturer, u would have thought he knows how to talk to some1 properly

 

[Jchihuahua]

Gosh he sounds like a teenager, and an immature one at that. The way he spoke to you and about the baby is so damn heartless .

 

[kayleigh&bump]

walk away hun. If he is really right for you, a little time apart will do you the world of good and once he see's that you are doing just fine without him, he will come running again, realising what hes lost. And if he's not right for you, then you will know what the best thing to do is.... for you, your daughter and your new bubby. You will be fine on your own, and you always have us lot to talk to

p.s i am 21 and have been through exactly what you are going through. I was with an arse of a bloke for 2 and a half years from when i was 16. He was 4 years older than me. He would break up with me when he felt like it, talk to me like shit, he was just a pr**k basicially! Well one time when he broke up with me, i decided enough was enough and that i was worth more than that. He had worn me down so much, that I had finally come to my senses. My family had been telling me to get rid of him for years. He couldnt offer me anything, and deep down i knew he didnt make me happy. So i walked away and let him be. After that, I found out he had cheated a number of times, which just made me even more determined to carry on with my life. He came running back of course, once he saw that I was happy on my own... and i told him where to go. The satisfaction was GREAT!! I cant even see what I ever saw in him now... Ewwwww!!

Now, 3 years on, I am married to the love of my life. He worships the ground I walk on and I know he respects me, and treats me like a princess. He would never say a bad word to me, and he is everything I have always wanted. We got married in May and now expecting our first baby I can see now that everything happens for a reason and if I hadn't of been strong enough to getrid of my di**head ex, I would never have met my husband.

Anyways, just thought I would share my experience with you, and just wanted to say really that everything happens for a reason. xxxxx

 

[redpoppy]

26!!?!??!?!?!

Are you KIDDING me!??!?

I SERIOUSLY thought you were going to say 18. Boys are stupid and dumb at 18 (well most are) and if he's acting like an 18 year old when he's 25 then he's either backwards or stupid or something.

unless he was drunk (and even then maybe not) i would seriously suggest you do as many girls have suggested and try and keep your head together. Its going to be very hard because you obviously love him and its his baby but the way he's spoken (or messaged) you is unacceptable. Can you even imagine him being able to show that convo to his mates or the general public without coming off as the arse that he obviously is?

As for having someone else... I realise that from where you're standing that sounds like a painful betrayal but the fact is that you should pity the poor girl if there is one. She's dating a 26 year old (almost) who acts like a thicko 18 year old, who has no man like quality (my OH would NEVER speak to even the most HATED female he's ever encountered in such a sh*thead manner!!!!) and who gets a girl pregnant and then leaves because he can't handle it and leaves in the WORSE way possible, by insulting her AND their child and telling her over messaging?

He may at some point in the future, once his balls have finally dropped, develop into a semi reasonable human being but don't waste too many tears on him and don't subject your child to a sh*t dad like that. I had a sh*t dad and spent 20 years hoping and waiting for the day my mum would finally tell him to **** off! She regrets to this day not doing it earlier. You can be strong and you're obviously the better person in not rising to his bait and getting angry but anger can sometimes be good and just know he deserves your anger.

Keep your head up sweetie. You have everything you and your baby need.

Oh, and as many have said, if he realises he's been a d*ck then he may eventually come roudn and make it up to you but don't expect it, don't rely on him and don't wait for it. Find your way to happiness. Its the best form of revenge.

 

[Jchihuahua]

walk away hun. If he is really right for you, a little time apart will do you the world of good and once he see's that you are doing just fine without him, he will come running again, realising what hes lost. And if he's not right for you, then you will know what the best thing to do is.... for you, your daughter and your new bubby. You will be fine on your own, and you always have us lot to talk to

p.s i am 21 and have been through exactly what you are going through. I was with an arse of a bloke for 2 and a half years from when i was 16. He was 4 years older than me. He would break up with me when he felt like it, talk to me like shit, he was just a pr**k basicially! Well one time when he broke up with me, i decided enough was enough and that i was worth more than that. He had worn me down so much, that I had finally come to my senses. My family had been telling me to get rid of him for years. He couldnt offer me anything, and deep down i knew he didnt make me happy. So i walked away and let him be. After that, I found out he had cheated a number of times, which just made me even more determined to carry on with my life. He came running back of course, once he saw that I was happy on my own... and i told him where to go. The satisfaction was GREAT!! I cant even see what I ever saw in him now... Ewwwww!!

Now, 3 years on, I am married to the love of my life. He worships the ground I walk on and I know he respects me, and treats me like a princess. He would never say a bad word to me, and he is everything I have always wanted. We got married in May and now expecting our first baby I can see now that everything happens for a reason and if I hadn't of been strong enough to getrid of my di**head ex, I would never have met my husband.

Anyways, just thought I would share my experience with you, and just wanted to say really that everything happens for a reason. xxxxx

I had exactly the same experience as you Kayleigh&bump. I spent 12 years, since I was a teenager, with someone who was awful to me. I eventually got the strength to leave -and it took a long time- but 3 years on I'm also with someone who treats me like a princess, would never raise his voice to me and would do anything to make me happy. We got married in April and the baby is due 9 months to the day we got married. I totally agree with Kayleigh that everything happens for a reason.

 

[EmmanBump]

Thanks girls
I think its gonna take me a long time to get over him, but its something i need to do.
just need to try make myself feel better, didnt realise crying was so hard to stop
xxx

 

[KaeRit21]

you deserve better and you can do better. you dont need him in your life hunny, not if thats how hes going to act. such a sad pathetic little boy. your better than that

big hugs from me and bump


xxxxxx

 

[kayleigh&bump]

Thanks girls
I think its gonna take me a long time to get over him, but its something i need to do.
just need to try make myself feel better, didnt realise crying was so hard to stop
xxx

Try and think positive hun... hard I know. Have you got some good girl friends you can use for company? If I lived near you I would get you round mine for a nice takeaway n a chick flick

Try to keep your mind busy, its not good for your daughter and your unborn bubba to be crying all the time. xxx

 

[EmmanBump]

nooo i dnt have a daughter and an unborn baby
the daughter is the unborn baby hehe
hes such a twat, hes changed all his status's to single
his facebook status is loving life
i just want to hurt him the way hes hurt me

 

[redpoppy]

nooo i dnt have a daughter and an unborn baby
the daughter is the unborn baby hehe
hes such a twat, hes changed all his status's to single
his facebook status is loving life
i just want to hurt him the way hes hurt me

As I said, happiness is your best revenge. When he sees you however long down the line, looking great (you're a very pretty girl!) and with your gorgeous daughter and smiling, getting on with life and not even bothering him in the LEAST, it will make him regret.

 

[MotherBear]

Aww how awful. Some boys (he's not a man) can be very cruel. He is being extremely cruel and nasty to you. He should have had at least the decency to speak with you face to face.

You don't need him and if he can say that about your daughter ("Not if she's anything like you") then she doesn't need him either.

It's his nose that he's cutting off.

I know that its hard, but it does get easier with time.

Surround yourself with loving family and friends that will support you.

Depression is never a good thing and with help you will come through it, but please work on your confidence too (I know it will take a huge time, especially as he has dented it so much) but you are worth so much more than a pr1ck like him, so don't accept or allow anyone at all to speak to you in that way.

He needs to learn to respect you after all you are the woman who bears his child.
xxx

 

[MotherBear]

nooo i dnt have a daughter and an unborn baby
the daughter is the unborn baby hehe
hes such a twat, hes changed all his status's to single
his facebook status is loving life
i just want to hurt him the way hes hurt me

As I said, happiness is your best revenge. When he sees you however long down the line, looking great (you're a very pretty girl!) and with your gorgeous daughter and smiling, getting on with life and not even bothering him in the LEAST, it will make him regret.

I agree...There is nothing more than that to tug at their heart strings and at that point you wouldn't touch him with someone elses. His huge lost.

 

[QTPie]

As I said, happiness is your best revenge. When he sees you however long down the line, looking great (you're a very pretty girl!) and with your gorgeous daughter and smiling, getting on with life and not even bothering him in the LEAST, it will make him regret.

This is soooooo true - honestly, you are worth SO MUCH MORE than this

Although it may not feel like it now, I think that you have had a lucky escape... You AND Lily deserve someone MUCH better and - with patience and time - that will happen.

Nothign wrong with crying - get it out of your system, but then get on, look at yourself in the mirror, realise what a beautiful woman you are, with a beautiful LO growing inside and how you are FAR TOO GOOD for all this rubbish. He is trying to drag you down - so don't give him the satisfaction.



QT