Hello! TTC at 37 with a new partner, sad, need encouragement

[LilaBlommor]

BFN, got my period Sunday. Five decent cycles with BFNs. I'm losing hope, starting to worry he has a problem since he hasn't gotten anyone pregnant in fifteen years (he had two abortions when he was young). He told me last night his almost fifty year old brother just got someone pregnant and is probably going to have an abortion. I feel just awful. And hopeless too because last time I talked to the doctor I can't even schedule testing with this COVID climate (I know most of you seem like you're in the UK but I'm in the US, so that means fertility treatments are also probably not gonna happen cuz $). I want this more than anything.

 

[LilaBlommor]

Hello just joined and saw your thread. I had my 1st child at 40 I’m 43 this year and TTC again! It took 9 cycles of a excited up for it husband the 1st time. The a year ago we agreed to try again 6 weeks after he agreed we got pregnant but I lost it at 10 weeks it was such a horrible time he point blank refused to try again. 6 months ago he said we could try but I wasn’t to say when I’m ovulating, demand sex or make him feel like a sperm bank. We have sex when we want that’s it. But your right in reality when you know your body you know when is best it stops being a random act. This is the 1st month I’ve managed to time our ‘random’ acts perfectly the tings you have to do? Hope all goes well for you x

Hi Gecko, nice to hear from you. I'm glad you had success at 40. Did you say it took nine cycles? Did you need any medical help? I'm glad you understand too having a partner who wants to have a baby but doesn't want to TRY for a baby. Well, glad someone can understand, not glad that you are also in this stupid situation. I knew men like this existed from back in my ttc while married days when I was on a board for ttc a certain gender using natural methods, but I couldn't imagine actually experiencing it! It's so frustrating and different for me, with my ex-husband he would do anything I said whenever I said when it came to TTC! Our third son was conceived while we were ttc a girl, conceived through a hole in a spermicidal condom two days before O after I'd douched with lime juice and starved myself for two months! AND IT STILL ONLY TOOK TWO CYCLES TO CONCEIVE HIM! So this BDing and not getting pg month after month is really unprecedented and upsetting and I'm really starting to go a little crazy with it. I can't imagine it ever happening and I am just so upset.

 

[Geko77]

Oh I’m so sorry that your going through this too it’s sooo difficult isn’t it! I have no clue how to help either. I guess we just keep on trying? Yes it took 9 cycles to conceive but it was spread out over 12 months I had a few weird long cycles. It was after cycle 8 that I went to the doctor. He took bloods to see if he could suggest anything from there. The next stage would be to have scans etc make sure I was ovulating. Then he suggested looking at my husband’s health (glad it didn’t get this far as I think my husband would have just said it just wasn’t to be) The Dr booked me in to return get the results and discuss the next steps around the time that I expected my next period. The morning of my appointment was 3 days late so thought I’d test it was positive! I remember sitting with the Dr he said that I’m healthy & there was no reason why I couldn’t conceive. I smiled and got my hpt out! The Dr was very happy for me. I when my baby was 18 months old we tried for a 2nd I got pregnant 6 weeks after stopping the pill. But I lost that at 10 weeks. My husband said no more after that but when you loose a baby you don’t just loose 10 weeks you loose a lifetime of what ifs. I craved the chance to get that back. He agreed that I would stay off the pill and if it resulted in a baby that’s ok but he still didn’t want one. Then 6 months ago he said he was ready to properly try. I was so excited. Little did I know I’d have to fight every month to get sex in my fertile window! He puts it off just long enough to miss it every time or give us only one chance. It’s frustrating. He wants it’s to be a random spontaneous act but when your 42 and only getting sex 3/4 times a month it had to be ‘planned’ I’m tired of tip toeing round his needs. Yet when you ask he’s all positive and up for it. It’s a good job I love him to pieces! My period is due in 3 days who knows what this month will bring?? Xx

 

[LilaBlommor]

My period is due in 3 days who knows what this month will bring?? Xx

Anything good happen Gecko?