Help 3rd chemical in a row ( now 4th chemical in a row:(

[Suggerhoney]

hi ladies im 40 and have been ttc for almost 6 months.

Im Currently going through my 3rd chemical pregnancy this year.

I had one in Arpril then one in June and now another.

I feel at a loss and so empty and sad.
I literally do not know what to do anymore.

One minute ure getting excited about having a baby and working out due date etc and the next ure pouring with blood.

Im going to call my doctors surgery on Monday but being 40 and in the UK I dont know of they will do much.

I really hope that I do get my rainbow baby one day but all the hole I once had is gone.

Didn't really know where else to put this but being as im over 35 I thought here wud be the best place.

Not sure what to do anymore with regards of TTC.
I want to keep trying but I dont think my heart cud take any more losses.

 

[MrsKatie]

Hey honey I am so so sorry. TTC is hard enough when you just face BFNs but losses are a whole new level of grief. For the first time now I also feel the pressure and fear of age and it is a feeling that can overtake you if you go down that road. I know it’s so scary and hard.

I get so overwhelmed and weepy and angry when we miss our chance a certain month or get interrupted by kids or something on a night that, in my head, would’ve been perfect TTC timing and we can’t manage to dtd, and I get so angry and sad when I see stupid stupid AF show her face. When I had my miscarriage I was steamrolled with grief, I didn’t know how I could go on. It wrecked me. And then my youngest cane along and of course it had to be him. And whoever had been born I would have felt that way, of course, but for some reason somehow it had to be HIM. I was still sad for the loss and I think about that little baby a lot. DH says our youngest is the same soul as the one we lost but in a healthy body, the other time something just wasn’t right.

I guess what I’m trying to say is we just don’t know why we are on the path we’re on, or what the lessons are in the painful times. I can get wound up and ragey when, for example, we’re running late to something or something happens that makes us miss an event or I have to cancel plans I was really looking forward to and then I think: maybe we would have had a car accident if we left on time. Maybe we missed some awaiting tragedy by avoiding a plan I had made. Stuff like that. I’m not saying the old tired “everything happens for a reason” crap because that doesn’t make anyone feel better in the moment. But then you look back 3 months or a year or 2 years down the line and you see your story. You see the heartbreak in the context of a larger, more complete, more wonderful story. I know your story has another healthy baby in it, and she or he is already out there waiting for the right time. We don’t know what makes the time right or why we have to experience the pain first but life does, the universe does. I have to remember that too.

hugs honey and we are here for you.

 

[lusterleaf]

Hi! I am so sorry for your losses. .... just curious, have you ever had your progesterone tested? Only because I know some women who have chemicals tend to say they had low progesterone. If you don't get a blood test you can buy "proov strips" which tests PDG level in your urine (usually you take them 7-10dpo just to make sure your progesterone levels are high enough to support a pregnancy). I know that I have a short luteal phase and so I pushed my doctor for progesterone suppositories. (I did that with my now 5 year old daughter and now just convinced my new OB to write a script for me now).

 

[JessaBear36]

How you doing sweetie??

 

[mimi4]

I am sorry to know for your loss. There are many reasons why a woman cannot get pregnant, and chromosomal aneuploides that are age-related is one of the most common reasons. I would advise to discuss a karyotyping test with yr doc, if the reasons stay unknown. One friend of mine had genetics issues, and only IVF PGS NGS worked for her.

 

[Suggerhoney]

Hi ladies.
So I've spoken to a doctor and she wants me to have 2 sets of bloods done.
The first lot from cd1 to cd5 and the 2nd lots 7 days b4 next AF.

We decided to give it one last try this cycle as after this we will be putting ttc on hold for a few months.

Im 8dpo and been having a few symptoms.
I really hope if I am pregnant this one sticks.

My LP is between 15 and 16 days so not due AF untill the 28th or 29th of August.

Thanks for all ure replies. I totally forget about this thread lol.

 

[Suggerhoney]

I am sorry to know for your loss. There are many reasons why a woman cannot get pregnant, and chromosomal aneuploides that are age-related is one of the most common reasons. I would advise to discuss a karyotyping test with yr doc, if the reasons stay unknown. One friend of mine had genetics issues, and only IVF PGS NGS worked for her.

I can't afford IVF hon.

 

[mumofwon]

Hey!

Sorry for your loss. I've had the exact same thing happen to me. It's weird because I have 3 children and got pregnant with them really easily 1st try, 1st try and second try). I had my progesterone tested and my progesterone was low each time. I asked my GP for progesterone suppositories and was told that it's not something they do in the UK. It's odd because studies carried out in the UK determine that GP's now follow the idea that progesterone can prevent loss in a high number of pregnancies.

I've decided to go for IUI/IVF, as the NHS wont help due to me having 3 children already.

Hoping you are successful in your next pregnancy x

 

[Suggerhoney]

Hey!

Sorry for your loss. I've had the exact same thing happen to me. It's weird because I have 3 children and got pregnant with them really easily 1st try, 1st try and second try). I had my progesterone tested and my progesterone was low each time. I asked my GP for progesterone suppositories and was told that it's not something they do in the UK. It's odd because studies carried out in the UK determine that GP's now follow the idea that progesterone can prevent loss in a high number of pregnancies.

I've decided to go for IUI/IVF, as the NHS wont help due to me having 3 children already.

Hoping you are successful in your next pregnancy x

So sorry for ure losses to.
I really hope if mine is progesterone related they will give me something to help.
I really can't afford IVF or any fertility treatments so I was hoping I'd it was anything hormonal they wud help me out.
I also already have children so can't have it on the NHS either.
Im really worried now. I was told if it is progesterone its easy to fix that u can just be prescribed progesterone tablets or suppositories.
Im not sure if I do have a progesterone isue, I was reading that womon that have low progesterone normally have a luteal phase defect. But there is nothing wrong with mine its 15 to 16 days.
My temps since 4dpo have been high. There still high now at 11dpo but i got another BFN today.
My doctor really wants me to have these bloodtests, I spoke to her about progesterone and she said let's just see what the bloodtests results are first and go from there.
So I hope that means if it is hormone related they will give me something to sort it out.
I dont think she wud bother doing the tests if she's not willing to do anything to help.

If my loods return normol I don't know what they do after that. I guess I may get booked in for a scan to check womb and overies.
I know some womon on here thats also had 3 chemicals in a row and there now pregnant naturaly.

Im really worried im to be told ive started peri menopause or something.
Or something that prevents me ever having another baby.
Its gonna be a very anxous couple of weeks.

I hope u and I both get our BFP’S and won't need any help

 

[mimi4]

Keep my fingers and toes crossed for a positive outsome

 

[Suggerhoney]

Keep my fingers and toes crossed for a positive outsome

Thank you so much hon thats so kind of you.
Im on AF now so feeling a bit low but having my first blood draw done on Tuesday on cd 4. Then the second lot needs to be done 7 days b4 next AF.
I still want to try this cycle but not sure if its aloud or not with having these bloodtests.
Going to ask the nurse on Tuesday.

 

[JessaBear36]

Thank you so much hon thats so kind of you.
Im on AF now so feeling a bit low but having my first blood draw done on Tuesday on cd 4. Then the second lot needs to be done 7 days b4 next AF.
I still want to try this cycle but not sure if its aloud or not with having these bloodtests.
Going to ask the nurse on Tuesday.

Good luck with the blood panels tomorrow. Hope they find out what's going on.
Thinking about you

 

[Bevziibubble]

@Suggerhoney good luck hun x

 

[Pot_pie]

Just wanted to wish you well @Suggerhoney !

The first time around, it took me 4 years to conceive. I had endometriosis but didn't know it. I went through one round of free IVF that ultimately failed and then went onto conceive Thomas a few months later. Thomas is now 10 and Cameron is now 8. Now in a new relationship, we were kind of NTNP and fell pregnant 10 months after we met, which sadly ended in a chemical and then again 6 months later with this one. I am also 40. Of course I'm scared stiff of just about every twinge, spot of blood, literally everything but...so far, so good

All the best of luck with the tests x

 

[JessaBear36]

Keep me posted on how the blood work goes today and what they say. Good luck!!

 

[Suggerhoney]

Awww thanks ladies for all ure replies.
Sadly the nurse said I can't try this cycle.
She said if I was to fall pregnant it wud make the results inaccurate and these bloods im having are for recurring Misscariges.
She said its fine to try next cycle (October) but I definitely can't try this cycle.

We had already decided to not try in October or November so September was gonna be our last shot. Tbh I feel really disappointed.

Hubby really feels I need to give my body and mind a good rest from ttc sooo im back here again on board the waiting train.

I feel worried tho, im not getting any younger and neither is hubby.
He says he is willing to try again in December which I know is only 3 cycles away but I turn 41 in December.
What if by then my time has run out?,

Hubby doesn't think waiting for 3 cycles will make any difference but im worried my time will be up.

I've never had troubles ttc b4, yes I've had Misscariges in the past but have always managed to fall pregnant again rite away.
The longest it took was back in 2010 after a chemical it took us 3 month to conceive our son. That felt like forever.

But its been 6 months of solid trying and the closest thing I've had to a pregnancy is 3 chemicals.
Im so worried all my problems are down to my age and leaving it will just make it so much harder.

But hubby says my body needs a break.
December feels like forever away but I know it will prob come around really quickly.
I always find September. October and November whizz by and b4 u knkw it its Christmas.
I bet because im waiting to try tho it will drag.

Do u think we are risking it leaving it ladies or do you think me giving my body a break is a good idea??

 

[mimi4]

I think you hubby is right, and you need to relax. 3 months will change nothing, although your trouble conceiving might be related to your age. But nowadays, there lots of procedures (even acupuncture) that might help you get pregnant. x

 

[Suggerhoney]

I think you hubby is right, and you need to relax. 3 months will change nothing, although your trouble conceiving might be related to your age. But nowadays, there lots of procedures (even acupuncture) that might help you get pregnant. x

Thank you sweety.

 

[mumofwon]

So sorry for ure losses to.
I really hope if mine is progesterone related they will give me something to help.
I really can't afford IVF or any fertility treatments so I was hoping I'd it was anything hormonal they wud help me out.
I also already have children so can't have it on the NHS either.
Im really worried now. I was told if it is progesterone its easy to fix that u can just be prescribed progesterone tablets or suppositories.
Im not sure if I do have a progesterone isue, I was reading that womon that have low progesterone normally have a luteal phase defect. But there is nothing wrong with mine its 15 to 16 days.
My temps since 4dpo have been high. There still high now at 11dpo but i got another BFN today.
My doctor really wants me to have these bloodtests, I spoke to her about progesterone and she said let's just see what the bloodtests results are first and go from there.
So I hope that means if it is hormone related they will give me something to sort it out.
I dont think she wud bother doing the tests if she's not willing to do anything to help.

If my loods return normol I don't know what they do after that. I guess I may get booked in for a scan to check womb and overies.
I know some womon on here thats also had 3 chemicals in a row and there now pregnant naturaly.

Im really worried im to be told ive started peri menopause or something.
Or something that prevents me ever having another baby.
Its gonna be a very anxous couple of weeks.

I hope u and I both get our BFP’S and won't need any help

I actually caught my last pregnancy and ran to the GP. They did tests and found that my progesterone was low. I asked the GP to prescribe me progesterone and they refused, even though there is evidence to suggest that it helps.

I recently came back from Spain and bought progesterone over the counter whilst I was there!

I've got my fingers crossed that you get answers and your BFP ASAP!!!

Fingers crossed for both of us x

 

[Kiwiberry]

Good luck with your blood test on Tuesday sweetie! I hope you finally get some answers .