Help me please!!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Clare Bear, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. Clare Bear

    Clare Bear 2 Daughter's 1 Baby boy x

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    Hi Ladies and Merry Christmas to you all! :happydance:

    I have done the wrong thing :dohh: and need some advice on how to undo it.

    When Junior goes to bed at 7pm he feeds from me and falls asleep and i put him in his cot bad i know, but it is the only way he will go to sleep as iv'e done it from day 1.

    So last night i fed him like usuall 45 mins in total and he didn't fall asleep so i put him in his crib wide awake and said to o/h hes not falling asleep on me feeding, after 2 and a half hours of him screaming, me picking him up to settle him and putting him down when he was settled, then doing it about 100 times (stubbon like me) he fell asleep on me but not feeding.

    Also he wont sleep in the day unless he falls asleep on me yes done this from day 1 as he was feeding all the time and everytime he cried he was passed to me cos "he needed feeding" so today i say no falling asleep on me, he has just fell asleep on me but not feeding again.

    Help me please ladies i know it's my fault :dohh: but he was totally heartbroken last night not falling asleep on mymmy and it was hard not to just give into him seeing him cry his heart out. Tonight will be the same!

    What can i do as he cant fall asleep on me at all my other 2 were bottle fed and good sleepers so i've never had to do this before! Also he wont touch a bottle he would rather starve.
     
  2. bumpsmum

    bumpsmum Mummy to Matthew & Daniel

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    first of all hun, you have not done anything wrong, from day one this is what you and junior have done and it works for you. When Matthew first came home I didnt put him down awake at all (OH still waits til he's asleep before putting him to bed as its really only time he gets cuddles) Even the fact that Junior has fallen asleep without nursing is a big step, it may take some time and vigilance but it does get easier, Matthew is very much like me now and would rather just lie down, roll over and go to sleep (im not a cudly sleeper id sleep in a single bed if I could :blush:).

    Perhaps try wearing a muslin or bib in your bra for a bit to get your scent and let baby lie on this when you first put him down sometimes this is comforting, also get OH involved in putting Junior to bed as even at 4 months he will associate cot/crib with feeds etc. The girls over in BF section may also be able to help you out a little more.

    The main thing to remember is that you have not done anything wrong or started a bad abit, Junior is still young and its quite natural (and common) to nurse to sleep xx
     
  3. helent1983

    helent1983 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for this bit of advice - I am going to try this too! xx
     
  4. Babydance

    Babydance Well-Known Member

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    I was about to post with the exact same problem! xxxx
     
  5. Foogirl

    Foogirl Baby Abby 11 weeks early

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    Abby cried for about an hour and an half the first night I stopped feeding her to sleep. Half an hour the second night, and about 15 minutes the third night. Within a week she was down to less than 5 minutes. About 2 weeks later she was going down without any fuss at all. It took a bit longer for naps but even then, the crying was less than 5 minutes.

    We also found that staying in the room and trying to settle her made her worse!

    Now she will come off the breast if she thinks she is going to fall asleep.

    It sounds like the process you are following is similar to what we did. It is hard but stick with it. It is good you are doing it at this point rather than in a few months, as I think it would be doubly hard if they are able to get up after you have put them down!
     
  6. kateqpr

    kateqpr Well-Known Member

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    Try not to look at it as a problem. Breast feeding has been a brilliant tool at helping your LO relax and feed and sleep well. There are no rules and as they get older, babies will eventually learn how to sleep on their own anyway, so there is no rush if that's what works for you.

    Poppy is nearly ten months and still feeds to sleep most of the time. But in the last few weeks as she's got older, she has started to tire herself out more and has fallen asleep on her own a few times. Also when she wakes in the night she can self settle, so it's not really been too much of a problem (which i can see having to feed to sleep numerous times in the night might be if your LO can't self settle in the wee hours)

    If you're happy maybe wait a few months and try Cry It Out or Controlled Crying then ( i think they're not recommended until around six months or so). Babies do learn new habits, so dont think things will always be the same. Boobs are brilliant at calming babies, so try to think of what they've done as a big plus so far!
     
  7. Clare Bear

    Clare Bear 2 Daughter's 1 Baby boy x

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    Thank you all so much.

    Not long been down from him waking at 9.15 gave him 15 min feed when i went up the 1st time placed him in his crib and came downstairs, he cooed and chatted to himself for about 5 mins then started to cry, so i went up and done what i done last night and he fell asleep on me at 10.50 he didn't cry much just cooed and chatted loads.

    I also tried the Muslim that bumpsmum advised and he grabbed it and put it in his mouth and tried sucking the life out of it with the look of this smells like mummy so i can eat it lol was really funny to watch.

    Im a little happier he didn't scream the place down tonight oh and i had my i-pod on this helped me loads lol!!..
     
  8. Foogirl

    Foogirl Baby Abby 11 weeks early

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    What a great tip! I wish I'd thought of that.:thumbup:
     
  9. Clare Bear

    Clare Bear 2 Daughter's 1 Baby boy x

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    Was great made the time fly by instead of really dragging!
     

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