Help me try to improve services for young mums!

[emdrops]

Hi everyone!

I've only just joined, and had a bit of a look through the site...it's a brilliant place to come for a bit of support! I'm impressed.

I was wondering if anyone would help me with my project?

I'm trying to gather young moms and dads stories about their pregnancy and birth, thinking about the service and treatment they received from their midwives and doctors. Once i've gathered the stories, they'll hopefully be published to help student midwives really think about the service they offer to young people. This will ihopefully help to improve young womens' experiences of pregnancy and birth!

Share as much or as little as you'd like. As an example, you could tell me about your situation when you got pregnant, how you felt about it, big things you remember about the tests and stuff you went through during pregnancy, your labour (...well done you by the way!) and your aftercare. Remember to include lots about your midwives and doctors (not including their names, of course.)

If the stories are published, they will be anonymous, so you don't have to worry about people finding out personal stuff about you...no one'll ever know who wrote it.

I'll send anyone who helps me out a finished copy of the collection if they want it, and any feedback about how it's helping improve services for young women!

So go on, help out young people who are, and who're going to go through whqat you have.

You can post your stories here on this thread or send me a personal message through this site. I can only post my email address after i've done ten posts, so keep your eyes peeled for that if that's how you want to get in touch

Thanks everyone!

Em xx

 

[HarlaHorse]

Well I don't have a birth story to give you just yet, give me until september haha but I think its a great idea!

 

[cwoodbaby]

I am only 6 weeks pregnant but i can't tell you how many dirty looks I have gotten from receptionists at the ER and how rude some of the nurses can be because of my age and situation (I'm 18 but look like i could be 15 or 16) Its horrible. Sometime I make my mom set up appointments and stuff just to avoid it. My mother had me and a young age and reminds me to keep my head held high though =] I love this idea though!

 

[emdrops]

Thanks guys! I'm excited people are willing to share about such a personal experience!

@Harlahorse: You don't have to have given birth. If you like you could just share about your experiences so far, like intial scans and meetings with your midwife. It could be good or bad. Even if someone just made you feel really comfortable, i'd like to hear that too!

@Cwoodbaby: It's terrible you've been made to feel uncomfortable. This is why i'm trying to highlight just how important it is for health practitioners to really give themselves to people (as most do) and make them feel comfortable at a scary time. I know the majority do a brilliant job - the amount of positives i've heard in my research is brilliant - there's some truly devoted staff out there who seem to have been born to help women through it. But the minority matter too.

Maybe you could speak to someone about how you feel you've been treated? Your doctor or someone? I saw on One Born Every Minute that there are midwives who only work with young women, so maybe you'd be more comfortable with them? Or of course, you can always talk to people on these forums for a bit of support. And remember, as long as you're confident that you're looking after yourself and your baby well, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about your situation, although i'm sure it's not very nice to be made to feel like that.

Keep um coming ladies!

Thanks again

xx

 

[emdrops]

Hi Guys!

I've posted enough on the forums now to be able to share an email address.

This one's specifically for the project: [email protected]

Remember everything will be kept confidential. And you'll be helping to improve services, or maintain positive examples of treatment!

Thanks everyone xx

 

[heather91]

My midwives was fantastic throughout my pregnancy. I went to Good Hope hospital in Sutton Coldfield where I gave birth at 17. I had to see consultants throughout my pregnancy due to raised blood pressure and they really were fantastic, I didn't feel in the slightest bit treated any differently because I was young.

When I was in labour, the midwives were mostly competent, although I found one of them quite insulting as she insisted I WASN'T pushing and didn't need to when I did. I ended up nearly giving birth on the toilet after I'd been on the delivery suite for just five minutes! I'm not sure if that was to do with age or not.

All in all I was treated really well and with respect. I wasn't treated any differently to any other married adult would be, which I appreciated. I had the normal amount of home visits after the birth, it was either two or three. That's it really! Ask me anything if I've missed anything out

 

[emdrops]

@cwoodbaby: Can you think of a specific example of when you feel you were treated differently or badly because of your age during the experience. Obviously, you don't have to share, because i know if it'd happened to me, it'd be something i'd be pretty p...eeved about, but if you did feel like sharing, a specific situation would give trainees the opportunity to really think about how the health workers made you feel and how they could have acted better and more professionally.

Thanks ladies, you're all legends!

xxx

 

[emdrops]

I've just read the rules for authors/researchers for the forums:

Post Author Rules:
Before posting, please make sure you have included the following.

* Who you are / company that you are researching on behalf of.
* Precise demographics / who your research is aimed at (include if your research is restricted to UK, US, Australia etc.)
* Your official email or contract details (somewhere where we can verify your credentials).

So just for the record, i'm a student at Liverpool John Moores University, and the project is going towards my degree. My email address at the uni is [email protected].

I don't suppose i count, because i'm not doing the research on behalf of anyone, but i just thought i'd better put that out there!

xx

 

[cwoodbaby]

@cwoodbaby: Can you think of a specific example of when you feel you were treated differently or badly because of your age during the experience. Obviously, you don't have to share, because i know if it'd happened to me, it'd be something i'd be pretty p...eeved about, but if you did feel like sharing, a specific situation would give trainees the opportunity to really think about how the health workers made you feel and how they could have acted better and more professionally.

Thanks ladies, you're all legends!

xxx

I went to the ER over the weekend because I had a lot of cramping and spotting and being new at the pregnancy I was just freaked out. I live an hour away from my family because I am finishing my first year of college.

Anyways when i went to the receptionist I told her I was worried and needed to see a doctor (I didn't know what else to say because honestly my mom usually does it all) and she was very kind until I told her I was 6 weeks pregnant. She honestly stopped everything she was typing and gave me the dirtiest look. Then the nurse called me in to take my vitals was also very rude. She never even looked me in the eye and kept just shaking her head at me.. I was shocked. Thankfully the doctor was very kind.

 

[emdrops]

Hi Everyone,

Here's some questions to use as a framework for your story, so you know what sort of thing i want to hear about. Answer as many or as few as you want or feel are relevant to you.

Loads of midwives and doctors do an amazing job working long hours under heavy pressure, but there’s still some who’ve got room to improve.
Maybe they just don’t understand the needs of young people at a daunting and exciting time?
Teach them with your story, good or bad, and help improve things for every future young mum and dad.
Your voice can be powerful, so shout out for the good and bellow about the bad – get yourself heard now.

o Tell me about when you found out you were pregnant. How did you feel? What made you take the test? Did you tell anyone that you were going to take a test? Why did you/didn’t you?

o Did you have any trouble telling your parents/boyfriend/someone important to you? If so, why? What was their reaction? Did you feel supported?

o What were your expectations of pregnancy at this point? What were your feelings/fears/excitements?

o Think of specific examples during your pregnancy of antenatal sessions/doctors appointments/midwife appointments/scans/check-ups. Were these good or bad experiences? What made them so? Did you feel as though you were being judged for your age/marital status?

o (And now, If you have had your baby

o Think about your labour itself. Tell me the story. In particular, were there any specific good or bad moments in terms of the way you were treated by staff? Was everything they did explained to you well? Did you feel supported by your midwife?

o What about the follow up visits? Did you have to stay in hospital after the birth? How were your appointments with the health visitor? Any doctors appointments? Think about specific good or bad experiences you had.

o Think about settling into your new life as a parent. As well as medical professionals, have you had any experiences with anyone which have been positive or negative reactions to your being a mum/dad? How did this make you feel?

o And finally: What is your opinion on the need to improve services for young people?

Thanks for sharing,
Emily xx

ps, remember if you don't want to share your personal experiences on here, you can email [email protected] and everything will be kept anonymous. Cheers everyone! xx

 

[emdrops]

Anyone else willing to share? The contributions so far have been brilliant, but keep um coming...i want the good the bad and the ugly truths to come out.

Emily xxx

ps Remember if you want to keep it between you and me, you can email me at [email protected]. Thanks ladies! xx

 

[annawrigley]

o Tell me about when you found out you were pregnant. How did you feel? What made you take the test? Did you tell anyone that you were going to take a test? Why did you/didn’t you?
My boyfriend knew, a few of my friends knew, and I took my friend with me to the clinic to get the test. I took the test because I was 2 days late for my period and I strongly suspected I was pregnant! When it came back positive I was happy, excited, scared, didn't quite believe it. The first feeling I felt was happy!

o Did you have any trouble telling your parents/boyfriend/someone important to you? If so, why? What was their reaction? Did you feel supported?
Not really. I told my boyfriend straight afterwards and he was ok about it. I told my mum by text 2 days later, and she told my dad and my brothers. Their reactions were all fine. They weren't angry. I felt pretty supported.

o What were your expectations of pregnancy at this point? What were your feelings/fears/excitements?
I couldn't wait! I was so excited to meet my baby. I was scared with how I would cope financially, whether I had thrown my life away or not. Whether I regretted it. (I don't )

o Think of specific examples during your pregnancy of antenatal sessions/doctors appointments/midwife appointments/scans/check-ups. Were these good or bad experiences? What made them so? Did you feel as though you were being judged for your age/marital status?
I never felt judged for my age by health professionals. Sometimes other pregnant women in the waiting room would give me funny looks but every midwife/doctor/health visitor/scan person/receptionist were polite, friendly and helpful to me.

o And now, If you have had your baby

o Think about your labour itself. Tell me the story. In particular, were there any specific good or bad moments in terms of the way you were treated by staff? Was everything they did explained to you well? Did you feel supported by your midwife?
I was very happy with the way I was treated. It was a pretty fast labour, 4 hours - 2 of which were spent in hospital. I knew the midwife who delivered my son from my antenatal classes and she was so kind and supportive to me. I was really pleased she delivered my baby. She was encouraging but firm with me when I needed it (I had been pushing for about 1.5 hours and she told me I needed to get him out within the next few pushes or they would have to cut me. I got him out without being cut! ) There were doctors milling in and out but I didnt really interact with them. I had a spinal block afterwards for my stitches to be done and everyone (there were quite a few people in the room!) was really friendly to me and chatting away, they asked my age and I told them and they had nothing but good things to say to me and saying how well I had done.

o What about the follow up visits? Did you have to stay in hospital after the birth? How were your appointments with the health visitor? Any doctors appointments? Think about specific good or bad experiences you had.
I stayed in hospital for 2 days after the birth. Mostly the midwives on the ward were really helpful to me, especially as I was still numb from the spinal block so couldn't reach my son when he cried. One midwife in particular was pretty rude to me. I was having trouble breastfeeding and I wanted to go home and she told me I couldn't leave until I had established breastfeeding which is the main reason I chose to switch to formula. She kept coming in when my son was crying and irritably telling me he needed feeding, but I didn't know how and she didn't really help. Health visitor and doctors appointments have all been fine, helpful and friendly as ever.

o Think about settling into your new life as a parent. As well as medical professionals, have you had any experiences with anyone which have been positive or negative reactions to your being a mum/dad? How did this make you feel?
Not really... People my own age (18 now, 17 when I gave birth, 16 when I became pregnant) are generally impressed but some can give me funny looks. Strangers rarely make comments but if they do its just to make conversation or say my son is cute, never had any bad comments.

o And finally: What is your opinion on the need to improve services for young people?
Personally, I don't see a need as I feel my care was great and I didn't feel discriminated against for being young at all. But I understand its not this way for everyone, and maybe having midwives specifically for young mothers (maybe midwives who were young mothers themselves?) might be a good idea.

 

[Leah_xx]

Tell me about when you found out you were pregnant. How did you feel? What made you take the test? Did you tell anyone that you were going to take a test? Why did you/didn’t you?
When I took the test I had this feeling for the longest time that i was but I just brushed it off just thinking i was parinoid and that my period was just late like it always was. My OH and a few friends knew that I was going to take the test that weekend. When it came back postive I wasn't sure how to react but I knew I was going to keep my baby.When I went to the doctors i found out i was 14 weeks and 5 days along
o Did you have any trouble telling your parents/boyfriend/someone important to you? If so, why? What was their reaction? Did you feel supported?
Telling my mom was the where the trouble started. Once I told my mom 2 days after I found out I was relieved but yet scared again cause I had to tell my dad. My mom thought I was kidding them and of course my dad was mad about it but they told me that they would stand behind me no matter what I chose to do. .
o What were your expectations of pregnancy at this point? What were your feelings/fears/excitements?
I just wanted everything to be okay with the baby. Finding out when I did was the scariest part of it. I didn't know if the baby had problems or not and I was scared. I was excited though and couldn't wait to meet my baby.

o Think of specific examples during your pregnancy of antenatal sessions/doctors appointments/midwife appointments/scans/check-ups. Were these good or bad experiences? What made them so? Did you feel as though you were being judged for your age/marital status?
I got mixed feelings from the people. Some were very supportive and some weren't. Some people would ask me if I was married or how I was and i would tell them and they would go ohh and walk away. They didn't know what to say to me. The doctor was nice to me and so was the U/S tech cause they have seen teen moms beforeo And now, If you have had your baby

o Think about your labour itself. Tell me the story. In particular, were there any specific good or bad moments in terms of the way you were treated by staff? Was everything they did explained to you well? Did you feel supported by your midwife?
When I went into the hospital that day I didnt expect to have my baby that day. A few of the nurses were there for me and very supportive even through my c-section. My daughter was having heart decels and they decided they wanted to get her out that way and not take the chance. One nurse finally explained to me what was going on and why they were doing what they were doing. Not once when I had been in there for preterm labor did a nurse explain to me what was going on. After I had her they found out her umbilical cords main artery was clamped off and did a 180. She would have died if i had her naturally or wouldnt have had a appoitment that day. The nurses were nice to me the first day and after that they changed. They didnt come and check on me like they were supposed to and didnt care and were nasty to me when I asked for something or to see my daughter who was in the transition nursery cause she was having a hard time regulating her body temp. She had a hard time with keeping her o2 levels up along with her heart rate.
o What about the follow up visits? Did you have to stay in hospital after the birth? How were your appointments with the health visitor? Any doctors appointments? Think about specific good or bad experiences you had.
The follow up appointments were good. I had to stay in the hospital from Thursday to wednesday.The nurses were nasty on the last day and they kept moving me from room to room. Moved me about 5 times the whole hospital stay. The 6 week appt for me was the best. The nurse was very nice when taking my staples out. Gracelynn's pediatrician was really nice and told me what needed to be done in order to keep her healthy.
o Think about settling into your new life as a parent. As well as medical professionals, have you had any experiences with anyone which have been positive or negative reactions to your being a mum/dad? How did this make you feel?
Not so much anymore now that I'm 18. When I was 17 and pregnant was when people would say nasty things to me. But now I get comments like oh your young but your doing a great job raising your daughter and she is really cute and looks just like you.
o And finally: What is your opinion on the need to improve services for young people?
I don't know. There isn't anything that can be done to change how people react to younger girls having babies. WE can't change how they feel we have to just deal with how we are treated. i learned that I can just be happy that I have my daughter and she is the best thing that has happened to me. They just need to keep a open mind when they get young girls having babies..