Help! Need advice!

[JASMAK]

I am watching my sister's son (and her two other children) today. Her son, who is 6 1/2, bites, kicks, hits, lies, and is really a bully. He tries to trick people so he can gets what he wants, and is always saying mean hurtful things to people (me, his siblings, my kids). He kicked me in the chest (hard) a few weeks ago. He is always hitting. Today he bit Jasper (Jasper is 5 and never hits, hasn't in about a year). Do you think it is normal for him to hit and treat others, and me like this? I know that my sister has been told that he is having problems in school. He hit his swim teacher at swim club. I feel that it is not normal and so when he does it in my care, I give him LOOONG time-outs to prevent the behaviour in the future, which works to some extent. This morning he had a 1/2 hour time-out for biting. I am at the point where I don't want him around my kids or my house. When he kicked me a few weeks ago, he did it so hard that I flew back and almost to the floor. I am not sure what to say to my sister as she doesn't think it is a big deal, and isn't one to take critism well. Her son's school teacher brought up behaviour issues, and my sister told his teacher that he only acts up when her son isn't challenged enough and basically pinned the blame on the teacher!!!! I am lost as to what to do. HELP ME! I am actually becoming scared of him, that he will seriously hurt one of the other kids, or me.

 

[Elli21]

Know what i would do hun???
Id tell my sister that that little git wasnt coming round my house until hes sorted his little temper out and until she starts to sort him out properly!!
That behavious would not be tolerated in my house...at all.
Maybe your sister needs a wake up call, and who better to give it to her that her sister who is only trying to help and make things better.

 

[JASMAK]

Thanks, you are right! Ugh, and I also have her three year old daughter, who has already hit my daughter (who is also three, but has special needs) twice! I have given her time outs, but she fights me all the way. I took her to a friends house today (who also has a three year old girl) so they can all play, and when we went home, she took off down the road. I had the double stroller (which my daughter was in) and I had to run with it and grab her. I told her that she has to walk with me, or she will have to sit in the stroller, and she tried to run off again, so I grabbed her and stuck her in the stroller, and she wouldn't sit. I had to push her down and get the seat belt on while she was kicking and screaming! It was horrid. Then she turned around and belted my daughter in the back of the head! OMG! Why are they all so violent! My sister needs a wake up call indeed!

 

[Elli21]

I have to be blunt, but u re much nicer than me...id have rang your sister and told her to get her ass in gear and get her butt down to ur house right now to pick her kids up!
At the end of the day if both of them have it it could be an ADHD problem type thing.
But in all honesty it sounds like they get away with murder and she needs to get strict now before they get older.
On the other hand maybe your sister is having a hard time coping and feels overwhelmed? And maybe you offering to chat and listen to her if she has anything she needs to talk about might help her get it off her chest if this is the case.

 

[JASMAK]

Hmmm...good points. I think she may be overwhelmed, I know there is definite discipline issues in their house (or, should I say lack of discipline), and also, I am beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with their son, although, when I tried to google info on hitting with 6 years, I found surprisingly little about it. Maybe I will feel out the situation when she comes for her kids today.

 

[Faerie]

Hmmm...good points. I think she may be overwhelmed, I know there is definite discipline issues in their house (or, should I say lack of discipline), and also, I am beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with their son, although, when I tried to google info on hitting with 6 years, I found surprisingly little about it. Maybe I will feel out the situation when she comes for her kids today.

Yeah, I'm not surprised, I would say it's pretty strange for a 6 year old to be hitting out unless there's an underlying problem. Isn't that something 2/3 years olds do??
I also would've phoned your sister straight away and told her to come and sort her kids out. Maybe she needs to be shocked into action....