:-( Help! Severe SPD with a nearly 3 year old. Struggling!

[Trying4num2]

Sorry this is long, think i just need to vent. I feel so guilty! Have got severe SPD and have a nearly 3 year old DD who stays at home with me (I work from home) I can't play with her properly, even getting up to get her a drink is excruciating.

She watches so much TV in the day and I hate that! I want to be able to take her out (can't drive it's just too painful and walking more than a few yards is out the question) and the only person who can help me in the day is my mum (hubby at work), she tries but she comes twice a week for 2 hours and goes again. We don't exactly live close and she works mornings then 'has to get back' can't help but feel so alone and feel so sorry for DD as shes bored out her mind. Feel like we're under house arrest!

We colour, stick, paint, bake, do jigsaws, activities etc but theres only so long I can stay in one position before the pain gets too much and moving around when baking etc is getting too painful too, and hard as I'm getting crutches this week off the physio.

Has anyone been through this/going through this. Know there's nothing I can do about this until I have our little one in 15 weeks it just seems so far away.

She was in nursery but when I set my own business up I had to take her out as we couldn't afford it (doesn't start pre-school until sept) Feeling guilty about that too, even though she said she wanted to stay home with mummy. I can see she's bored and hate seeing her wander round not knowing what to do with herself.

Sorry about the long rant ladies.

 

[butterflydebs]

Try not to be to hard on yourself kids are very adaptable, and it should only be until your new bubba is born, as long as she is getting your attention I am sure she will be fine. Good luck hope the next 15 weeks go quickly for you xx

 

[Trying4num2]

Most people I've spoken to have said theirs went right after having their baby which is fantastic. I just hate seeing the bored look on her face every day. 15 weeks isn't that long but when I think of my DD it will be an eternity for her.

 

[pictureperfect]

Oh honey thats awful.

Do you have any friends with children that can come visit, meaning your dd gets a play mate for a few hours and you get a little break?

I had sciatica a few weeks ago and the pain was awful, luckily its gone for now, but when it was there I couldn't even walk! I was off with DD as couldn't get to work and had friends come visit so dd was occupied.

Hope it gets better REAL soon x

 

[Trying4num2]

Thank you. All my friends with little ones work full time. There are a couple of mat leave with ones my DD's age and they have said they will come, don't know when though and feel guilty ringing them and asking as they have newborns too. Feel cheeky.

Ive got londosis of the spine and sciatica too but those two pains are copable at the moment (know what you mean about it coming and going though, I was bad 5 weeks back before this spd started)

I know it's just part and parcel of some pregnancies and as long as my baby is healthy I shouldnt complain.

Stuck in this house is driving me a little bit mad I think!

 

[MrsQ]

Oh hun I know what your going through.
My son has just turned 2 and I am
In the same boat.

Although I can drive our car has packed up.
He goes to 2 groups a week and apart from that I can't do much and when I can I concentrate on the house as its vile.

This morning I got up at 5am and started on the house working trough the pain. I am no where near finished and just sat down as I am in agony.

I have 15 weeks too to go so feel ur pain. X

 

[Trying4num2]

Oh hun I know what your going through.
My son has just turned 2 and I am
In the same boat.

Although I can drive our car has packed up.
He goes to 2 groups a week and apart from that I can't do much and when I can I concentrate on the house as its vile.

This morning I got up at 5am and started on the house working trough the pain. I am no where near finished and just sat down as I am in agony.

I have 15 weeks too to go so feel ur pain. X

Ah, sorry you're going through it too. If one more person says 'the house doesn't matter' to me I'll scream. It's not the be all and end all but when you're running out of pots and cups...lol!

My husband did a bit yest for me like cleaning the bathroom and hoovering but he never does it properly.

15 weeks just seems like an eternity doesn't it! Hope you get some relief soon. X

 

[maysiemoo]

In the past when i have not felt up to it i have given myself and easy week by buying up some paper plates and plastic throwaway cups from the local cheap shop. No washing up for a week how does that sound?

 

[Wantapink1]

I had severe SPD in my first two Pregnancies with no1 started at 19 wks & no 2 started at 32 wks
I was very much like you felt guilty I couldn't play on floor or go to park with my 16mth old
This time around I haven't had a twinge at all so hoping stays away this time around (fingers Crossed)
I w

 

[Wantapink1]

I would cherish the couple of hours that your mum can come and help as when I had mine I never had nobody at all as my mum died from cancer 8 years ago xx

 

[Trying4num2]

I would cherish the couple of hours that your mum can come and help as when I had mine I never had nobody at all as my mum died from cancer 8 years ago xx

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, like I said it's probably the hormones today that are getting to me. We can all have those days can't we.

I know we all have people on the other end of the phone and I know they're there when I ring them.

I think I'm still getting used to working for myself from home, I guess I miss the banter and company of others more than I will once I'm used to it. Though I wouldn't change it. Best decision o ever made. Both financially and for both DD's. X

 

[amore]

Completely understand hun. My spd started at 11 weeks this time and the guilt just builds up over the weeks until you feel like you are now. It must be so much harder for you as you have your daughter at home with you every day.
The other day it all got too much for me too - ds1 had been at home with me all day and everything he wanted to play was on the floor or in his room and I was just in so much pain that I couldnt get up the stairs or on the floor. He was fed up of watching dvds (I hate it too that we seem to be watching tv constantly at the moment) and then he went into tantrum overdrive for a few hours, everytime he shouted and cried I just felt more and more guilty and like a bad mum as there was nothing I could do. I was so upset and exacerbated at the situation (not him) that I ended up shouting at ds1 (so ashamed of myself) which I never do and then cried for about an hour. Ds1 was so shocked that he stopped having his tantrum and asked me to please stop crying as he doesnt like it, which only made me feel worse.
Anyway sorry I am overtaking your thread I just wanted to say that I felt emotionally terrible that day and even more guilty for shouting at ds but the next day things were better, and they will be for you hun. You are doing your best and that is all any of us can do x

 

[Wantapink1]

I would cherish the couple of hours that your mum can come and help as when I had mine I never had nobody at all as my mum died from cancer 8 years ago xx

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, like I said it's probably the hormones today that are getting to me. We can all have those days can't we.

I know we all have people on the other end of the phone and I know they're there when I ring them.

I think I'm still getting used to working for myself from home, I guess I miss the banter and company of others more than I will once I'm used to it. Though I wouldn't change it. Best decision o ever made. Both financially and for both DD's. X

Being a SAHM can be very demanding & draining the way I describe to people is 'groundhog day' but on the other hand it's the most rewarding & loving job I've ever done but the HARDEST lol

You can always have a moan or chin wag to me if you want x

 

[Trying4num2]

Completely understand hun. My spd started at 11 weeks this time and the guilt just builds up over the weeks until you feel like you are now. It must be so much harder for you as you have your daughter at home with you every day.
The other day it all got too much for me too - ds1 had been at home with me all day and everything he wanted to play was on the floor or in his room and I was just in so much pain that I couldnt get up the stairs or on the floor. He was fed up of watching dvds (I hate it too that we seem to be watching tv constantly at the moment) and then he went into tantrum overdrive for a few hours, everytime he shouted and cried I just felt more and more guilty and like a bad mum as there was nothing I could do. I was so upset and exacerbated at the situation (not him) that I ended up shouting at ds1 (so ashamed of myself) which I never do and then cried for about an hour. Ds1 was so shocked that he stopped having his tantrum and asked me to please stop crying as he doesnt like it, which only made me feel worse.
Anyway sorry I am overtaking your thread I just wanted to say that I felt emotionally terrible that day and even more guilty for shouting at ds but the next day things were better, and they will be for you hun. You are doing your best and that is all any of us can do x

Completely understand where you're coming from. I could easily say don't feel bad but I know if it was me I would. But we really shouldn't beat ourselves up so much.

It's their little faces! Think we all want to be supermum dont we.

I really appreciate all the support just what I needed. Hard to speak to none pregnant friends. X