Here again :(

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by gingercat, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. gingercat

    gingercat Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls. Unfortunately, I find myself on this forum again. I miscarried my first baby on February 13th of this year at 8 weeks and three days. Today, at 5 weeks and three days I find out I've lost my second. Seriously WTF!!!!!!!! Can't believe it has happened again. There are a few things that make this experience a LITTLE less painful than the last. I'm going to list them in an effort to stop myself losing my mind.
    1. This time the bleeding happened at home and my husband was there so I didn't have to go through it alone.
    2. Initially, they thought it was an ectopic but it's not.
    3. They couldn't find anything in the scan so did a blood test which came back ridiculously low which would suggest that baby number two slipped away a few days ago.
    4. I am miscarrying naturally today so no need for the trauma of a D an C.
    5. Doctor says no need to wait to try again as womb is clear.
    5. Third time lucky?????

    I really, really want a baby. If one more f****** person says "At least you can get pregnant..." I mean how ridiculous?!! As is my goal is just to get pregnant...I want a baby not just a pregnancy. Why do some people not understand this????? We are soooooo ready to be parents and cannot believe I am back in this YUCK situation so soon again. I don't deserve this and neither does my husband. Please, someone give me some wisdom. I am feeling so desperate :cry::cry:
     
  2. Justkeeptryin

    Justkeeptryin Mum at last

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    Im so sorry that your going through this aswell, its hurts so much. I've went through the same as you only the kinda opposite way about. My first miscarriage in March was at 5 weeks and this time it was 10 weeks but the baby stopped growing about 9 weeks. I cant believe how much Im hurting and its hard to think positive sometimes, just keep thinking its never going to happen.
    The first time was hard enough but I told myself that these things can be down to chance but when it happens a second time theres something that needs investigating. I have now been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic for blood tests in a few weeks, Im convinced that I have low progesterone.
    What about you, what is your nest step? is there anything that you suspect is going wrong? Sometimes I feel that you've got to do your own research. Take care xx
     
  3. MissyBee

    MissyBee Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry you're going through this. It must be awful. I had my first miscarriage about a week ago, at 13 weeks. I didn't realize it until now, since my pregnancy wasn't planned, but I really do want a baby too. After the initial fear I felt after finding out, I was so excited to be a mommy. OH and I planned everything out, and it was going to be so wonderful. I can't believe I lost my sweet baby. It's killing me. I want to have a baby so badly now, since this made me realize just how much I want to be a mommy (I never wanted kids before) but he wants to wait before we try to have children. The other day I asked him how long, and he said "I don't know, maybe like 10 years from now." I got upset and said I am not waiting that long, and he said he was just throwing a number out there, and that it probably wont be that long but a couple years at least. I wish I could try again, but that's a decision we need to make together when we are both ready. I know how you feel though, wanting so desperately to have your little baby to hold and to love. I wish my baby were still here. I pray that soon you and your husband do have the wonderful little child that you deserve, and that deserves an incredible mommy like you. I'm really sorry for your loss.
     
  4. gingercat

    gingercat Well-Known Member

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    Thanks so much ladies. It's great to have your support. I live a broad so have my husband with me but really miss my mum and sisters at a time like this. I will be going home for a three week holiday in July so that will be great. I'm being put on baby aspirin and a high dose of folic acid the next time so hopefully all will work out xxx Thanks again for your advice ladies. I couldn't do this alone xxx
     
  5. Khadijah-x

    Khadijah-x Well-Known Member

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    Sorrry :(((((((((((((
    I just had my 2nd and when people say 'atleast u can get pregnant' and im like yeah but I feel like ill never have a baby!

    Its awful thing to go through and please God 3rd time lucky for us all please xx
     
  6. tinaanddan

    tinaanddan Member

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    I know the feeling. "At least you know you can get pregnant".... gee thanks, that gets me very far. I feel your pain. Had my dnc not too long ago and haven't gotten my AF as of yet, it's been 4 weeks. My husband wants to try again as soon as possible but being that this is my second m/c I am too scared. I know I want to try again but the heartbreak is too much for me. Don't really know how many times I can go thru this again.
    I hope all works out for you. I will certainly keep my fingers crossed for you and your husband.

    Tina
     
  7. sammy1205

    sammy1205 Well-Known Member

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    Yep I know how you feel. I also MC at 5w3, on 06/12 it was natural as far as I know. My HCG was 55 on the MC day then 48 the next day, on the 22nd they were still 15, it is like Jeez just go to freaking 0 already. I am having another draw tommorrow. the same thing happened to me they could see NOTHING in the womb, they asked me like 3 times in the ER if I had taken a HPT and it was +, I really think they thought I was crazy, until they saw the HCG at 55, even really low at least they knew there had to be a +HPT.
     
  8. Clarehc

    Clarehc Well-Known Member

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    I hear you - just had my second m/c too and it seems unfair. I read somewhere that 34% of women miscarry twice for no other reason than bad luck so I'm really hoping I'm one of those and there's not an underlying cause. I know I have PCOS and that adds to a slightly higher chance of m/c but I've carried one baby to full term so I'm hoping desperately I can do it again.

    I really do know that the words 'at least you can get pregnant' can make you want to rip your hair out but personally I try to take comfort from it as I have friends who cannot get pg at all and other friends who've had IVF. It doesn't make my pain less but I do feel lucky that a) I can get pg and b) I've got one precious child. Mind you, on bad days, I don't give a stuff about feeling lucky and hate all those damn fertile people! LOL. Ups and downs, I guess.

    Good luck for next time, for all of us.

    Clare
     

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