Here we go again...

[Amigone]

Hi. I'm a 30 year old woman who had a mmc in December (some of you might remember me). The last few months have been very difficult for my wife and I, but we are trying again this month. We are doing IUI with clomid and trigger shot, as well as donor sperm.

I feel so... detatched this time. Last time taking the clomid was exciting and looking forward to the ultrasound to count follicles was exciting. But now it is scary. I have to go to the same ultrasound clinic where the doctor came in and told me that my baby died on Tuesday for the count.

Part of me wonders if it is too soon, and another part of me thinks it might always be too soon.

Can anyone relate?

 

[harley81]

Not in the same situation, but can relate to the detachment after a loss. We fell pregnant naturally just when we were about to start IVF (it was the same cycle as the dye in tubes, think it flushed my tubes out!) we had a miscarriage and it devastated us. We started IVF a couple of months later and I was totally terrified and detached, to be honest I felt that way throughout the pregnancy, but we have our amazing little boy now and I'm so glad we did keep going.

We're about to have a FET on Tuesday, we had a failed cycle in Dec and this is our last go for a sibling, feel very mixed at the moment, but know one way or the other this is right for us. Wishing you and your wife all the luck in the world x

 

[His Princess]

I've been through a similar situation, so can understand the way that you're feeling.

I have PCOS and after 3 years of TTC, we were eventually referred for IVF, which we started in Jan of last year. My DH and I were realistic about the fact that it may not work and were overjoyed when it did first time round. I had lots of symptoms, no bleeding etc., so assumed all was going well. We went for an early scan at 7+1, only to be told that the baby was only measuring 6+1 with no HB. Until that point, I never knew something could hurt so much!

Our clinic wanted us to wait 6 months to try again. We eventually started again in late September and found out I was pregnant again a couple of days before our angels due date. Like you, I felt pretty detached as I was terrified about having to go through another loss. My anxiety wasn't helped by the fact that I had a big bleed at 12 weeks and was told by a Dr. in the EPAU that I was experiencing another MC- the bleeding turned out to be a result of an SCH.

What changed things for me was having a gender scan at 16+3. It may sound odd but once I knew we were having a little boy (I would have been just as happy with a girl), it instantly made things a lot more real for me. I immediately bonded and whilst I think I'll be anxious until the moment I bring him home, I now allow myself to look forward to having him here and I'm able to visualise our lives with him. I still have moments where I convince myself something will go wrong, which I think is perfectly natural after a loss, but the closer I get to my due date, the more hopeful I become. I'm 25 weeks now, so I'm just hoping the next 15 fly by.

Sending you both lots of luck on your journey. I hope you're blessed with your rainbow x