Hi everyone :)

[emz_x]

Hi, just thought I'd introduce myself. I've been stalking this thread for a while but didn't know what to say. I'm 16 and found out at the end of November that I was pregnant. I have to say, that came as quite a shock, but I decided to go through with the pregnancy.

My boyfriend and f.o.b is struggling quite a lot to come to terms with everything. He's trying his best to be supportive but my pregnancy still seems to be the last thing he wants to discuss. I don't really know what to say. I feel like I should be discussing this with him and helping him get used to the idea but I don't want him to complain that this is all I talk about. Can anyone who has been in a similar situation give me some advice on how I can help him get used to this? Any personal experiences of how you coped would be much appreciated.

Luckily, I have my mum and my step dad for support. They have been absolutely amazing and reacted way better than I thought they would. I've had a lot of negative responses but it doesn't really matter so much to me knowing that I have my closest friends and parents on side.

I've got my ultrasound tomorrow. I'm excited but also very nervous at the same time. One of the things that is really worrying me is that my mum's friend, who is a midwife, said that I'm at greater risk of having a baby with Down's Syndrome because of my age. Has anyone else been told that? I asked the Community Midwife when I registered my pregnancy but she said that wasn't true and it is only women aged over 35 (and especially over 40) who are at greater risk of having a baby with Down's. I'm pretty confused now because I don't know what to believe and I'm not sure whether or not I should have the additional tests. If there is no increased risk, then I'd prefer not have the tests done because it would stress me out if there was a high probability. However, if there is an increased chance then I'd probably do the tests.

I'm going to go now because I could go on and on forever. Thanks in advance for any help and advice. x

 

[lov3hat3]

hiya and congrats on the pregnancy
sorry but i dont have any advice on how to deal with your boyfriend as im not with or see the fob of my baby. But with the downs it is true that women 35 and over are considered at a greater risk. My MW told me that i was at a much lower risk because of my age (16) and that additional testing was offered but i didnt really need it x

 

[wanaBmummy]

its deffinatly the older you are the greater the risk of downs. don't worry too much just enjoy your pregnancy and your ultrasound tomorrow!! have a happy and healthy pregnancy x

 

[cammy]

congrats and welcome to BnB
I'm sorry I don't really have much advice on how to talk to FOB, mine still is a bit edgy about talking about it. He never wanted to talk about it and always seemed pretty distant, but one day I was really upset so I pretty muchforced him to listen to me and tell me what he was thinking. Things have been rockky but the closer we get the more open he gets about it. I'm sure he'll come around soon.

It is always said that the older you are the greater risk you have of DS but I went to a genetic counciler(for a different reason) and she told me all her clients that have DS children are younger parents. So I think the statistics are wacked. But generally it is true its a greater risk with people over 35.
I had the nuchal scan for pretty much no reason, because I knew even if I did have a high chance, it wouldn't change my mind about baby or my decisions. I really wouldn't worry about DS though.

hope to see you around

 

[x__amour]

Welcome to BnB and congratulations on your pregnancy!
I'm Shannon, 19 and have a 2 month old named Victoria (Tori).
I can't give much advice about your boyfriend but as for the down syndrome it is higher in women that are older. I chose not to have the test done because I would love my LO regardless. Anyways, congrats again and good luck with your boyfriend! I hope you have the healthiest and happiest 9 months! See you around!

 

[emz_x]

Hi, thanks for all your comments. They really helped put my my mind at ease. Just got back from my ultrasound and it went really well. There were no abnormal measurements so I decided not to have the tests. Baby seemed really happy and healthy, and was moving about constantly. Tori is absolutely gorgeous by the way.

 

[Leah_xx]

Hey Hun!!
Congrats and Welcome.
Glad your ultrasound went good!!!
Im Leah,17 and i will have a 4 month old little girl named Gracelynn Elizabeth here in less then a week.
I didnt have the testing for down syndrome and that done for the simple fact that even if my daughter did have downs i would still love her the same so i never did. Glad all went well.
Feel free to PM if you ever need anyone to talk to or have questions

 

[nicole_]

hey congracts
im nicole, 18 and am 28 weeks pregnant

regarding FOB, mines exactly like that lol,
we found out at 7 weeks, and at first he was very 'this cant be happening' and negative about it, then he started coming round to it more, but he still cant fully get his head round it. we dont talk baby names really, and its always me that brings up baby things, and like you, i feel im nagging him about it. i know he loves me, and does secretly love baby just as much, hes just not very good at showing it and it all overwhelms him. the changes dont happen to him so he cant bond like we can. he said he knows itll be different when babys here and he can hold him and things, but atm, its all too surreal and hes still struggles to get his head round it. just let him know how your feeling about him not taking an interest, my OH got loads better after i did and tries hard to show he cares, even though i know how hard hes finding it.
i just tried to find other ways to involve OH, like he LOVES cars and hes had to sell all his so hes gutted, but weve concentrated at looking at decent family cars with all the toys and looking at baby grows that have cars and buses all over so he has something to get excited about like concentrate on what he finds positive rather than the stresses and worries of having a bubba

 

[emz_x]

Thanks a lot for the advice, Nicole. I'm going to try putting a more positive spin on the pregnancy. I was really disappointed because he was supposed to come with me to the ultrasound but he couldn't. He had some work experience arranged for this course he's doing and they wouldn't let him have a couple of hours off. I thought that it would have helped things sink in for him if he could see the baby moving about but I guess there's always the 20 week scan. I'll try telling him how I'm feeling and then maybe that will help him understand.