Hi everyone!!

[missjess]

Hi all!

New to this section, but been on the forum for a long time.

My almost 3 yr old has suspected asperger syndrome but he has yet to have a proper diagnosis to confirm it. My mom who works with mainly autistic children has been observing him quite a bit lately and she really thinks that's what he has.

He's such a wonderful boy though and I absolutely love him to death!!! He's the sweetest boy and it makes me quite sad to see he may have difficulties in the future when it's time for him to go to school... I am having a bit of a hard time understanding even though I know it is out of my power and isn't at all my fault. I assume everyone with special needs children go through this when they find out...

My son's symptoms are that he is obsessed with lining up and sorting his toys (mainly cars) into size, colors, types, things have gotta be very tidy and neat and put in order (very ''anal'' about what goes where and into which order etc). He has violent tantrums which are very difficult to control and can easily last up to 30 minutes of screaming for no particular reason... His knowledge of certain things is insane... Sometimes way above average! He memorizes things very quickly and can read us back a book that we only just read to him. Things like that. He struggles with getting attention or being looked at by strangers etc. He's also very independent and enjoys playing on his own.

All bunch of questions, fears and anxiety comes to my mind when I think of how other people are going to react with him being the way he his, because not everybody can understand or even know what asperger is.

How do you all cope?
xxxx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Hi I think your fears and anxiety's are normal. Sometimes school can be a struggle having to fight for rights all the time but there is no reason why your child can not have the same future as any other child hun xxxx

 

[Emmea12uk]

Aww Jess - I am sorry to hear about your worries for Josh. I have no experience of aspergers but I know your Josh is still a sweet lovely boy whatever label is put on him. Each child comes with their own unique bits to treasure and sometimes it's the things that make them different from the majority that make them so special to you Xx

 

[Newt]

Jess I am sure Josh will be fine, I know how it feels, you go through so many different emotions, and all are normal hun. Josh is a beautiful and lovely little boy with the best family support possible.

 

[Nic1107]

I grew up with undiagnosed AS/PDD-NOS; I can't say it was easy but the best thing to do, imo, is really listen to your son when figuring out his style of coping and learning. A lot of people who fancy themselves and expert will try to work out their own system and expect it to be a one-size-fits-all therapy, but people on the spectrum are just like anyone else as far as knowing and understanding their own needs, even if it doesn't seem that way.
One of the worst, and honestly most insulting, things that people can do is try to 'erase' all of someone's autistic traits- like not allowing them to line up their toys, making them get rid of a lucky object, forcing them to socialize when they'd rather stay home and read, etc.- because they believe that successful treatment means making the kid 'normal'. I find that terribly sad, and wish that people knew how fun and relaxing it truly is to sort and re-categorize toys or fill a whole notebook with every word we can think of starting with the letter 'C'. But honestly, it will get easier and people with Asperger's most often come a looooooong way in social skills, life skills, etc. even without therapy as they grow into adulthood; caught early and with therapy, it'll be even faster and he'll have a lot of help.

I had friends growing up, graduated high school (somehow, lol), moved out of my parents' house, got married, have a child, and have a job. Your little boy will have all those things as well if he wants them, and his future is just a bright and open as any other childs- more even, since he has such a loving and wonderful mommy!

 

[Adanma]

My son has asperger's and is currently in kindergarten. He is mainstreamed so he's in regular class. I have been truly amazed at how well he is doing socially in school and all of the kids in his classroom love him! They appreciate that he helps them with things they don't understand and they think it's cool that he knows so much about so much.

I spoke with everyone in the school he would be in contact with before school started and had him meet them too. He visited the school a couple of times before it started as well so it wasn't totally new for him the first day. That helped with his anxiety a lot. We also started out having him enter through a less busy door so he wouldn't be so distracted at drop off time, but he has recently transitioned into using the regular door and is quite good now with focusing on getting inside instead of the busses etc!

He also is very proud of the things his Asperger's allows him to do like knowing a lot about a lot. He also likes how flexible physically he is and that he has tons of energy. He expresses frustration at times about his rigidity, but he has never said he wishes he didn't have it. For now he seems to be doing wonderfully! When puberty hits, I'm sure a whole other set of things will need to be worked through, but I have confidence in him.

I think your boy will do well provided he has the support of his school. I know he has a great support and advocate in you. I know it's scary to get a 'diagnosis' at first, but you'll adjust as will he. Take care

Adanma

 

[missjess]

Thankyou so much for your support girls! It's good (sorry ) to know I am not alone in this and nice to hear some of you girls that are going through the same.

Thanks a lot, it means a lot ! Feel much better now xxx

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

Jess.
Josh is a gorgeous little boy, I'm sorry to hear he may have aspergers. Jessica's but finding out your baby has any kind of special needs/disablilty is a massive shock. I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to send hugs to you and your little prince xXx