Hi Girls, Remember me? Update. :)

[sausages]

Hi everyone!

I hope you're all doing well, it's good to see some familiar "faces" coming back here. I haven't posted in a long LONG while, but I thought I would swing by and post an update since I have an actual conclusion to tell you about.

If you remember my username, you might remember (or maybe not! I wouldn't!!) that I really wanted to try for a third baby, but DH did not. Our kids are 5 and almost 4 now and I wanted to start trying just after our youngest turned 2.

Anyway, DH was not at all on the same page, even though we had always said we would have 3 kids. He'd changed his mind and I had a lot of anger and resentment about that, because how DARE he change his mind about something so important and just expect me to get over it. lol!

I had a really tough time for a while as we have only been using the pull out method and actually had a few close calls. I hoped and hoped and hoped for a sperm to get through somehow, but one never did. I was posting on here and posting on NTNP a little, convincing myself that DH would come around. Over-analysing everything he said, desperately looking for signs that he wanted another baby.

So, as it looked more and more like it was never going to happen I decided to enjoy my life and do things I definitely couldn't do if I were pregnant or had a newborn. I reconnected with friends, started going out on more nights out and thinking about moving house and maybe going back to work full time next year when our youngest is in school. I'm getting laser eye treatment in a few weeks and even looking at breast surgery.

I still get broody and I am even now still hoping for a miracle, but I get the ten year coil fitted this week so i've come to the end of the line.

Who knows what effect this decision will have on my relationship in years to come. I'm trying not to think about that. I think it will be pretty hard not to resent DH some days, especially if we're having "one of those days" but then the situation would only be reversed if I'd "won" and I'd gotten pregnant. There's no way around it, it's a really difficult one.

I'm just trying to think of all the positives of only having two children. Plus I'm hoping that when the coil is fitted and I am no longer thinking "what if" every month perhaps I will get over it faster.

Anyway, thanks for reading. If I know you please let me know how you're getting along!!

 

[Pearls18]

Hi Sausages I remember you I'm sorry there has still been no give from your hubby but I'm glad you're sounding positive and trying to make the most of it. Your children look absolutely gorgeous in your sig. Hubby and I are now trying to make the decision for a third, hubby is a definite no, I'm extremely torn, so I don't need to work on him until I'm sure for myself! Welcome back to the boards

 

[kksy9b]

Hi! Definitely remember you- had been wondering where you went! Sorry to hear that your DH is not on board with another baby, but like you said, concentrate on the positive aspects of having two beautiful little ones. welcome back!

 

[MissN8]

I remember you too glad you are feeling positive and great to hear an update. Me I'm still waiting as usual

 

[loeylo]

Hey- I remember you! I was wondering where you had gone!

Glad to hear you have finally made peace with the situation - but sorry it hasn't worked out the way you hoped. I am in a WTT/ntnp limbo just now also and hoping for a strong speedy to get through (we are withdrawing sometimes and not using contraception at others, based roughly around when we think I'm fertile)

Thanks for comic back and letting us know how you are getting on.

 

[GreyGirl]

I remember you I'm glad that although the oh hasn't changed his mind, that you're at least not as upset about it and feeling more content with it. It must be a relief. I'm in a kind of similar situation - we plan to have 2, but I kind of hope for 3. I hope where my husband stands, but I'm trying to stay positive and just be happy if I can complete my family with 2 children

 

[sausages]

Thanks for your replies girls.

I've just had an awful blow this week. My Dad passed away Monday night. He had been ill for a long time, so we knew it would happen at some point, but it is still a shock. He had heart disease, diabetes, kidney failure and had lost both his legs as a result over the last year. He's been through so so much. He went back into hospital on Sunday with a chest infection that had developed into pneumonia and his heart just stopped. It was finally too much for him.

Anyway, we're making all the arrangements this week and I forgot to show for my coil fitting yesterday. My head is too much of a shed to really think about that now.

 

[Pearls18]

I'm so sorry for your loss hun.

 

[luvmyfam]

I remember you and had been wondering about you. So sorry about your Dad *** hugs ***. I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 15 and I know there is not really anything anyone can say to make you feel better.

I'm sorry your dh never came around to a third... I thought he would. Sounds like you are adapting as well as you can.

I don't know of you remember me.... But dh and I were wtt this October for # 3 but we lost his Dad in March and it's been a stressful year so I convinced him to wait another year. So now we're back to waiting.

 

[sausages]

I remember you and had been wondering about you. So sorry about your Dad *** hugs ***. I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 15 and I know there is not really anything anyone can say to make you feel better.

I'm sorry your dh never came around to a third... I thought he would. Sounds like you are adapting as well as you can.

I don't know of you remember me.... But dh and I were wtt this October for # 3 but we lost his Dad in March and it's been a stressful year so I convinced him to wait another year. So now we're back to waiting.

Hi Hun, I do remember you. So sorry to hear that you lost your dad so early and your husband lost his this year too?! How awful!

It sounds like you're doing the right thing with waiting, I just hope the time passes with less stress for you both.

Xx