Hi :) Mum 2 Teenage Mum OK 2 B Here?

[TattiesMum]

Hi girls

My 18 year old daughter is 10 weeks pregnant and I'm having a 'wobbly/worried' day for her today... like how is she going to cope and all that stuff. I'm hoping you can all re-assure me and will welcome me for the duration lol.

Is it OK if I stick around?

 

[Love Bunny]

Of course it is =) She'll be fine as long as she has her family and friends to support her its nice to see a mum so supportive xxx

 

[Jemma_x]

As love bunny said, she will be fine as im sure she will have all her family and friends to help and support her x

 

[TattiesMum]

Awww thanks

I'll be here for her - I just get worried about her... she's still MY baby, and believe me you never stop worrying no matter how old they get (in fact the older they are the more you worry - at least a newborn stays where it's put lol).

It's just that she will be moving out ...I have a 3 bedroom house but her brother and sister are still at home and she shares a room with her sister - we have no room for a baby at all (all my baby 'collection' - I'm buying something every week and went mad on ebay lol - is dotted around the house in the oddest places already). She moved out once before and really didn't cope well with bills and cleaning and stuff - that's what bothers me. She's great with babies and kids so that side isn't a worry at all, it's the other day to day stuff

I'm trying to find her a place nearby so that I can pop in and clean etc for her if she wants me to, but I work full time, so I won't be available instantly if she needs me .... it's just like being pregnant myself all over again - veering between excitement and total panic!

 

[Love Bunny]

I think when you get closer to the time everything will just start to fall into place it usually does!! Even if push comes to shove there is ALOT of help out there from the government for teen mums inc. benefits and housing and she might even be able to get a whole house for her and baby right round the corner from you if you all find its too cramped for next to nothing!

How far along is she?

Aww you sound like an awesome mum like mine! I know alot of teens on this forum would kill for a mum as supportive as you! Your daughter is lucky!

xx

 

[jen1604]

Hiya :wave:
Welcome to BnB,we'd love you to stick around.
You sound like a great mum and Im sure your daughter will do just fine,especially with you around to support her.xxxx

 

[jen1604]

How far along is she?

xx

10 weeks you crazy lady!!Says in the first post
Love your new pic by the way
xxx

 

[Love Bunny]

Argh sorry jen! Too early for me hahahah!


Thanks =D ! xxx

 

[Christine1993]

awch, bless. yeah i agree it's dead nice seeing a supportive mum round here. my mum went through all the same worries, i suppose its just natural for a mum to care so much for their daughters i just wish my mum would do the cleaning for me!!! haha xxx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Is it OK if I stick around?

Hell no, you must leave this instant ...i mean what do you think this is ? A pregnancy & baby forum?

No i'm only kidding, Welcome hun. Of course you're welcome

Congrats on becoming a grandma!! Will this be your 1st grandchild ?
Sorry i say grandma, Is it grandma or nanna or?

It's lovely you want to help her the way you do, I'm sure she will appreciate it soooooo much, But gaining some independence is what she needs now she is about to become a mummy herself so try not to do everything for her either but guide her in the right direction if you get me.

Will she be finding out the sex ? xxx

 

[TattiesMum]

I know DizzyMoo ... I promise to sit on my hands and wait until she asks for help Fortunately my job keeps me too busy to allow me a damaging amount of interfering time lol. Perhaps I'll offer to clean thoroughly once or twice a week and see how she gets on? I really don't want to raise this baby myself, so while I will support her by making sure she and the baby have all the things they need, and helping as much as I can - I'm not going to be a permanent babysitter and/or carer. I've done my own childrearing and am looking forward to spoiling and then handing back

Yes this is my 1st grandchild ... I've chosen 'Nonna' as my preferred name, although my daughters are veering towards 'crazy lady' (nothing to do with my baby buying frenzy - more that I am a wee bit eccentric generally). We are paying for a gender scan privately, so we will know what it is (apart from a baby ) which gives me loads of time to buy/make pink or blue stuff.

 

[sambam]

with a caring mum like yourself, im sure your daughter will be fine !
i fell pregnant at 17 with my first, had her at 18, married at 19 with number 2 on the way !...teen mums aren't any different to mums in their twenties... we do the same job, try just as hard...things will work out.. they always do... and from what i can see you will be with her every step of the way xxx

 

[helen1234]

i had my daughter at 18yrs old and she was the making of me, i had to get my own place etc. i went back to college and then onto uni, got myself a lovely job and never regretted anything.
it wasnt all pink roses i had some crap moments esp when i saw my friends going out and going in holiday and buying a car etc.

i'm 33 now and when people look at me i'm no longer judged people would look at me like 'look at her 18 with a baby' well i dont get 'ooo look at her 32 with a 14 yrs old'

you dont stay young forever and we all grow up and mature when we really need to, and if she slips up you'll have to be the one to tell her to pull her socks up like my mum did

x

 

[jelix9408]

you sound like a lovely person! very much like my mom. worries all the time about me. im her first born so shes always saying im her first baby and will always be her baby even though im 19 years old. shes really excited as this is also her first grand-daughter. all you can really do is be there when she needs you. also she will have to learn alot of things on her own. as crazy as its going to be , she will be fine as long as she has the support from you and the rest of her family and friends. shes got a long journey ahead of her with the pregancy .. and motherhood. there will be highs and lows and all you can do is be there... in the end she will appreciate everything youve done for her and the little one.

and if your already an awesome mom .. just think how much of an awesome grandma youll be!!!

 

[etcetera]

Of course you can!
we welcome all kinds!

 

[TattiesMum]

Thanks everyone

Helen - You are an inspiration and I'm really, really hoping that, like you, having this baby will be the making of my daughter.... she is at college and working (less than 16 hours) at the moment and is intending to keep going up to the birth and after her maternity leave - she is doing child care and works with special needs kids, so both will help her now and in the future with coping.

LOL at the awesome mum comments - I'm really not .... just an ordinary mum who's own mum was SOoooooo unsupportive of me that I swore I would never let my own kids down

Personally I think that young mums make better mums than those who wait until they are in their late 30's before having their first baby .... teen mums have more energy, more flexibility, aren't already set in their ways and their lifestyles and are generally better equipped to accept the disruption that babies bring . Plus it's much easier to relate to their own teenagers when the time comes!

Jelix - I'm planning on being the 'fun' Nonna .... the one who takes you out with the dogs to get muddy and does finger and face painting, baking, plasticine and clay, lets you have your own garden, has loads of animals to play with (I already have those lol), takes you to the farm and is generally a wee bit mad

 

[lauraperrysan]

wow, you sounds like a great nonna!! i was 18 when i got pregnant and 19 when i had my daughter. my partner (a 29 yr old policeman, grrrr) left me the moment i told him and he has never once seen his daughter or spoke to me since. She's nearly 3. I wanted to rely on my mum but she told me I got myself into this 'mess' i had to get me out of it. She never baby sat, washed bottles, she never helped with 1 night feed. I still resent her for being so unsupportive. I worked through all my pregnancy, I went back to work when my daughter was 4 months old, put her in nursery and have worked ever since. never relied on anyone and feel great for being so independant.
What im trying to say is be there when she needs the help, but dont do it all else she will never be able to grow up and be independant.
Find the happy medium xxx

 

[TattiesMum]

wow, you sounds like a great nonna!! i was 18 when i got pregnant and 19 when i had my daughter. my partner (a 29 yr old policeman, grrrr) left me the moment i told him and he has never once seen his daughter or spoke to me since. She's nearly 3. I wanted to rely on my mum but she told me I got myself into this 'mess' i had to get me out of it. She never baby sat, washed bottles, she never helped with 1 night feed. I still resent her for being so unsupportive. I worked through all my pregnancy, I went back to work when my daughter was 4 months old, put her in nursery and have worked ever since. never relied on anyone and feel great for being so independant.
What im trying to say is be there when she needs the help, but dont do it all else she will never be able to grow up and be independant.
Find the happy medium xxx

I had my 1st at 23 Laura, but my OH worked abroad and I had no support at all (not that my mum had ever offered support for anything before that either) and I did everything myself as well - including going back to work when my D was 4 months. You're right, it does build a sense of independance that I'm proud of, and I don't want to take that away from Tattie - it's hugely important and it's what gets you through life's up and downs as time goes by

I promise to walk the tightrope between being there when she really needs me and encouraging her to stand on her own two feet as best I can .... like all parenting it will no doubt be a tricky balancing act LOL.

By the way - I'm sorry about your little lost ones

 

[Kates1122]

i think you are going to be an excellent nonna! you remind me of my mom... my mom went to EVERY dr appt with me and i went to one 3 weeks before due date and they were ready to induce me, i started crying in the elevator and i looked over and my mom was crying for me! I was in labor for 2 days and my mom stood right there by me through it all finally at the end of the 2nd day my mom went into the hall and told the dr he had to do something cause she couldn't see me in pain anymore so he did a section...i will never forget everything she did for me through the whole pregnancy and labor, just know that even if she gets upset with you through this pregnancy she doesn't mean it...when i was in labor my mom was like "do you want me to rub your back?" i said "no!!!!!!" finally she just did it anyway and i could have kissed her!!! i can tell you will be the same way otherwise you wouldn't be on here asking for advice...good luck and tell your daughter to join bnb,she will get so much support!

 

[Momof2kiddos]

she seems to have a very supportive mom on her side. =) whether she realizes that now or not she will greatly appreciate that once the baby is here. and im sure once she has the little one she will have some great maturing take place and realize sometimes cleaning needs to be done lol