holding tactics from consultant

[lynnikins]

had my gtt followup with the consultant and got told they want me to have a growth scan to check on baby's size before they will sign off on a homebirth even though my gtt came back clear, im happy caus i want the scan caus i love scans and DH hasnt been to either yet and we want to find out if baby is a boy or girl too and it saves us paying privately for one. i got the "scare tactics" from the doctor though about shoulder dystocia being such a risk with big babies so will go armed with my research to the post-scan appointment so i can put my point across to them. DH is on my side about sticking with a homebirth if I feel its where i want to be and will be most relaxed and comfortable.

 

[modo]

Good luck getting your homebirth lynnikins

 

[Tegans Mama]

I guess you've heard it all before being a member of this board but you don't need them to "sign off" anyway.

IMO it is just a power play - as short as three years ago, the consultants held all the power, until we mere women figured out we are well within our legal rights to go ahead and pop our kids out at home even when they say no.

Good luck x

 

[lynnikins]

yeah i just want them to so i dont have a fight on my hands with the MW's to get them to come lol the head of the team im under wanted the consultant to " sign off " on it and i could do without the stress when it comes down to it caus "me+stress = no labour" both with ds1 and ds2 when i was stressed about circumstances then my body just wouldnt let itself start labouring to the point my labour was stop start for 2 wks nearly with ds1 then a very long 56+hours of labour when it did come down to it caus i was so wound up about DH's half sister being at our house the whole time i had no control. so id rather have a fight about it with the consultant and get them to aggree and put it in writing in my notes so i dont have to worry about it later on iyswim

 

[Tegans Mama]

I definitely agree, it's much easier if they DO sign off on it. It pisses me off that they feel they have to though

 

[xxembobxx]

I definitely agree, it's much easier if they DO sign off on it. It pisses me off that they feel they have to though

I totally agree. I also have to see a consultant due to smaller babies (nothing too worrying IMO) and the attitude they have is that they might "ALLOW" a hb
I'm just smiling and nodding my head as I'm having one whatever. Got to see the local MW to ask her permission first though as apparently they don't like women who have had 4+ babies to have hb due to increased bleeding issues.
Funny cos not once have they asked me how I feel about this nor whether I think it will be an issue (I really don't) as surely they must know women want a safe birth and would not take any chances

 

[Tegans Mama]

I definitely agree, it's much easier if they DO sign off on it. It pisses me off that they feel they have to though

I totally agree. I also have to see a consultant due to smaller babies (nothing too worrying IMO) and the attitude they have is that they might "ALLOW" a hb
I'm just smiling and nodding my head as I'm having one whatever. Got to see the local MW to ask her permission first though as apparently they don't like women who have had 4+ babies to have hb due to increased bleeding issues.
Funny cos not once have they asked me how I feel about this nor whether I think it will be an issue (I really don't) as surely they must know women want a safe birth and would not take any chances

It'll be the same for me! My BMI is 36 and I'm going for a HBAC next time. My last consultant with Tegan was (excuse the upcoming language) the most egotistical ignorant ******* I'd ever met and I cannot WAIT for an OB to say to me "blah blah... I won't sign off on your homebirth, I'd advise you to have an elective section/a hospital birth" and I'll reply "I appreciate your advice but I'd prefer a HB regardless"

 

[emera35]

Lynnikins, I hope you get them to "sign off" for your home birth, so you can get organised and feel comfortable and relaxed I'm in almost exactly the same position, and i've been told at this point a home birth is "not likely". They seem convinced i'll have GD even though i didn't last time, and have already booked my growth scans Like you i think i'd feel more comfortable to get the official thumbs up, as i'd hate to have to try and negotiate with the MW on the day. All the best to you x

 

[lynnikins]

yeah im not convinced that DH has the inner strenght to battle with a MW if i just left him to it lol id get emotionally involved lol

 

[cranberry987]

Im diabetic/GD (they cant make up their mind which) and have literally given up trying to get any kind of agreement from my consultants. Ive made my decision and done my research, theyve said their bit and more. I would like monitoring after 38w just to be sure but if theyre going to harangue me each day then ill just stop going, stress that close to labour is going to cause more problems that the monitoring solves.

end of the day you dont need them to sign off on it and with mine i seriously doubt they will even tho my growth scans and blood sugar levels are perfect.

im just resigned to going against their wishes and have got myself into the right headspace now that their crap just washes over me. I have listened to what theyve said and told me the risks, ive gone away and rsearched it and made my decision which just happens to be different from theirs. Until they give me any new information (ie some new complication has arisen, or they find that the placenta is having issues from a scan) theres no reason to change my plan.

Its happening my way and they can be involved and help me put in place safety nets in case of complications (ie monitoring babys blood sugar, doppler scans after 38w) but if theyre going to be childish like they were at 20w and deny that monitoring existed and just be generally obstructive then they can jog on. Ill do it myself. I still judge it to be less risky than going in for induction and all the other nonsense which they want.

Have a think what you want to achieve by getting it signed off. Could the same stress free run up to 40w+ be achieved by a different outlook on things? Just let it wash over you and try and get DH on board. Make a birth plan which you both agree to with provisions for if this happens then we prefer this option then if any pressure is applied you just refer to birth plan (outside of an emergency of course)

Im thoroughly unconvinced that my DH will be as solid as he says he is at 40w so I have a doula and we're going to start the birth planning this week. Then everyone knows what our wishes are and they will not change just based on being scared into things.