home birth?? opinions please!!

[muffin]

i know i have a way to go yet but ive been giving this a hell of alot of thought and a home birth is something im keen on. my midwife has said that at the moment there is NO reason why i cant consider it an option.
my problem lies in my support network(DH etc) i have absolutley no support from any of them. MW said (quite rightly) that the decision is mine and mine alone, but i need the backup of DH at the very least.

Anything you all have to say on the matter will be taken on board, im all ears!!!
xx

 

[Kina]

I'm planning a home waterbirth this time, I'm going to get my pool through made in water https://www.madeinwater.co.uk/ .

What makes you think that your DH will be unsupportive? Can you have a different birth partner, like a close family member or friend?

 

[KX]

ooo you're both very brave, I couldn't get thru labour without the drugs

 

[Kina]

You were induced though which I'm sure is more painful (hence why I was so scared of that happening with Ella!!).

 

[ablaze]

ooo you're both very brave, I couldn't get thru labour without the drugs

i thot that and hey presto 10lber wi a few sooks of gas and air

sorry 2 go off topic hun!!

main thing id make sure of(sorry 2 b a misery guts ) how long wud it take 2 gt 2 hosp if something went wrong(im assuming raigmore will be ur hosp?) is your house suitable for a home birth, a birthpartner who is comfortable with your birth is essential too!!

i wud have loved 2 have tried a home birth, but in high rise flats dont think the neighbours wud of agreed!!

keep us updated hun

 

[MrsE]

I've thought about this a lot too Muffin.

Apparently the birth is supposed to be a lot easer and faster as the mother is more relaxed in her own surroundings.
And you have have Gas and Air and some midwives can get a prescription for Pethadine (Depends on the area).
You can also hire a birthing pool if you want too for home.

But the only thing that puts me off is that it would take me 15/20 mins to get to hospital should anything go wrong at the last minute I'm buggered.

My DH isn't keen on the idea as he wants all the medical care around me just in case, especially as this is our first.

So depending on how this one goes I might opt for a home birth for Number 2.

At the end of the day it's your decision and you have plenty of time to weigh up the pro's and cons. So don't feel rushed into making a decision by anyone.

Cx

 

[Caroline]

Due to previous births I am having lo in hospital, as it take 45 mins to get there poss 30 mins in emergency. DD was born blue with cord round neck. DS was 4wks early so wud of had 2 go to hosp anyhow.

 

[muffin]

yvanne, im rgistered at dr grays in elgin, less than 10 mins from us(we are the forres side of elgin)
My MW said that the house and access to it(if i needed an ambulance) is 100% fine. DH is unsupportive in that all hes talked about when we've discussed a home birth, is what HE wants. and what really upset me was that when i pointed out i would have the full attention of 2 MW's at home he said that was selfish,( in that they would not be available to others )

its differcult to have another birth partner in that we only moved up here a few months ago and all my close family and friends are down south, at least 8-9 hrs by car, and it worries me what damage it would do to our relationship if i said i wanted a diferent partner(does that make sense?)

 

[muffin]

should also point out that the reason we are having the conversation is that i have a MW apt on monday and last time i saw her she said that if i was still thinking of a home birth then we would disscuss it in more detail at next appt and from there arrange a time for her to come to the house to talk thru everything with US.
what worries me is that i know what DH can be like if he doesnt want something(a 2 yr old mainly!!) and im terrified he would just be really rude and differcult with the MW. i told the MW last time his views and she was great, basically said "tough"!! what i want is paramount, and unless i developed any complications she saw no reason a home birth wouldnt work

 

[vicky]

aww hunny, you can always have two birthing partners at home, no offence hun to your partner but its not what he wants you have to go through all of it the pain the emoiticion of it all to have this baby and to carry it for nine months its what you want more then anything when it comes to having this baby.

Why don't you see if you can find some information about home births and read up on it and maybe sit down with your partner and see what he says.

I hope this helps and i hope i haven't offeneded you in anyway

 

[Minxy]

I applaud anyone choosing to go this route, I bet it can be a magical experience.

Not to burst your bubble, but the vast majority of women who want home births don't get them, hence your midwife saying 'at this stage, she can she no reason......' they cover themselves but only 4% of births happen at home, as lot less than those who want it I'm sure.

I'm a bit cynical when it comes to the reason why...............

Fingers crossed you get the birth experience you want. Keep an open mind and you won't go far wrong

 

[muffin]

not at all vicky, im cheered by the fact evryone whos replied so far has said i should go for it tbh! im thinking of asking forum buddies to be my birth partners at the mo!! you lot are soooooo much more supportive!

 

[Kina]

We could have a big MSN group chat and webcam We'll support you, now PUSH!!

 

[Cat]

I wouldnt have a home birth more for the mess than anything else! I dont want to ruin carpets and stuff lol!

I dont think amniotic fluid does leather sofas a lot of good!

 

[Kina]

I'll be staying away from mine then

My birthing pool will be in the dining room on loads of waterproof sheeting and sheets, we will have just had new carpets laid so I don't want anything getting on them!!

 

[Spunky Cupkake]

right then girls what ive sort of experienced of a homebirth even tho baby wasnt born in the house i started having pains on a sunday morning so about dinner time i phone mw she came out checked me and i was around 2-3cm which wasnt a great deal so she said to me go and have a rest and if the pain got any worse to phone so she went down the hospital to get all the bits ready just incase i needed her to come back out

1.once you reach 37 weeks, your iron levels and blood preassure are fine and baby is in correct position then if you go into labour you can have a homebirth

2.The day you reach 37 weeks mw supposed to come out and give you a birth pack which consitis of cord clamps the thing to break your waters kidney dish etc. what you would have if you were in hospital they give you those absorbant sheet things to stop any mess

3.Theres not much mess anyway you can have your baby anywhere in the home i was told to buy a cheap shower curtain and an old sheet plus they put those absorbant sheets under you so theres not really much mess

4. they bring out a suction unit for baby to clear the fluid thats in the airways, oxygen, gas and air , when i had my lo yo could have pethadine but this time around its only gas and air so ask al the required stuff like needles basically the lot

plus another midwife will be called when the baby is not long before making an appearance

5. make sure you have hot water

6 .if you have sky go turn to channel 265 and look out for homebirth diaries that will give you an idea of what happens

theres only a certain precentage of women that actually do give birth at home the others have to go to hospital some babies are born normal some are assisted and others are c-section

i have decided to have a homebirth as in hospital i only have gas and air when in labour so that would really affect me but ive been watching home birth diaries and it does make you think whether to have one or not as it stands its a home birth but i think i will change my mind when the time comes

but at least you can relax in your own home rather than be up tight in hospital

the only thing with us here is that we have 2 hospitals we can choose from we also have a hospital down the road but doent have a maternity unit which i think is rediculous not even a childrens ward so if anything were to go wrong it would take about 20-30 mins to get to either hospital so i seriously givingit some thought

good luck to those who are planning a homebirth

spunky xxx

hope this information gives you some idea of what happens

 

[muffin]

thanks again spunky, you've been ever so busy with posts this morning!! thanks for the overview, i agree with you that being at home is a far more chilled option, just the thought of going into hospital gets me uptight. sadly im starting to develop possible complications so i may have no choice but to spend the last part of my pregnancy in hospital for bump to be monitored

 

[Spunky Cupkake]

aww muffin i hope everything is ok what problems are you having or is it personal ??

spunky xx

 

[Tam]

Muffin is everything ok babe?

I take my hat off to anyone who wants a homebirth, I am just too chicken I want drugs!!!!

Remember babe, the birth is all about YOU, not your OH and not anyone else either, it is about what YOU want and what makes YOU feel happier, so you stand your ground no matter what it is you want hun! x

 

[muffin]

thanks girls as ever! im ok in myself, just abit adgitated with DH cos he refuses to even discuss the homebirth option. I know its down to me and my choice at the end of the day but i really need his support(you what i mean?), but i do refuse to give in just because its what he wants(like i tend to at times).
the decision may well be taken away from me by docs if baby and placenta keep growing at the rate they are though, but that i could live with i reckon(medical grounds and all that), im so determind to enjoy(!!) the whole experiance and feel postive and 'empowered' by it. i saw what my sis went thru 2 yrs ago when she gave birth in hospital(diff one to me) and i refuse to go through the same.

Good to her from you tam, your a stranger these days!!hope you and alfie are well, cant believe you almost there!!time seems to have flown!!xx