honest opinions?

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by rubexxx, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. rubexxx

    rubexxx Well-Known Member

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    okay this is really long, i apologise in advance...
    well, as some who have read previous threads/rants by me will already know, i have recently split with FOB. i still love him but he doesnt want to get back together, and even if he did, in all honesty ive got to admit i dont think it will work.
    in the past couple of weeks hes been acting so immaturely, like he wont let me speak to him to his face about the baby, or sort anything out for when shes born, he says if i want to speak to him ive got his number :wacko: even though every phone call / texting conversation ends up as an arguement :/ anyway, ive made the decision to move to my mums house, because although its quite far away from my dads house where i live now and my friends and school, i know ill be able to have the help i need with the baby when shes first born and my mum will show me how to do things if im not sure, without being too pushy or interefering.
    the problem is, its about a 1 & 1/2 - 2 hour drive away from the area i currently live and where FOB lives. just because we arent getting on and hes showing no interest in either me or his baby at the minute, i know that he could be a great dad and i do NOT want him or anyone else to think im moving to my mums to stop him seeing the baby, because thats completely not the reason:nope:
    there is a train station close to my mums, and one a reasonable distance from FOB's house, so he could easily make the effort to travel and see her, and ill be visiting quite often so that my friends and dad and brothers can see Taylor when shes born, so he can see her then aswell, but i just keep thinking that hes not going to make any effort with her if i move :nope:
    i really do think that moving to my mums is the best choice, but should i rethink this whole thing? the only thing holding me back from moving is the fact that FOB might not bother?:shrug:
    please tell me what you honestly think, and sorry its so long! x
     
  2. 2beamummy12

    2beamummy12 Guest

    Wait so are you going to switch doctors? its so late in your pregnancy youll have to switch doctors and choose a new hospital is that going to be okay with you?

    Personally, this is a tough one cause i would want to move with my mum but i love my doctor so much i don't know if i could change so late... could you maybe stay there until after the baby is born and once she is then you move to your moms then youll know if he cares or not cause youll be there for another few weeks and youll see if he shows up to see his daughter be born?
     
  3. emmylou92

    emmylou92 Hollie's Mammy

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    None of us can tell you what to do. You have to do whats best for our baby. If you really feel moving away to a place where you have only your mums help then do it, I think if i were you I'd be staying at my dad where i have friends family and a life, sounds to me like there is much more help there tbh.
     
  4. beanzz

    beanzz Mama to 2

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    Its not fair on yourself risking going through this without the help you need if he doesnt step up and be a better dad for Taylor so IMO your mum's is your best bet. Even if he says he'll make the effort he's proved you can't trust what he says. If I was you I'd move in with your mum, if he wants to be a dad he will be a dad no matter where his daughter is, afterall a little train ride is nothing. I don't see why you wouldn't be getting the help from your dad and friends though? :flower:
     
  5. xxchloexx

    xxchloexx TEAM PINK!!!

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    You're doing the right thing going to stay with your mum... You dont need that negativity around you that hes bringing.. If he wants to be in his daughters life then he will make the effort , its not up to you to stay somewhere just to accomadate him. I no i need my mum when i have the baby and I would be doing exactly what you're doing hun , it will help you feel less stressed not having his childish drama around you. Good luck x
     
  6. rubexxx

    rubexxx Well-Known Member

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    thanks for the advice everyone...
    the doctors is only down the road from my mums and will be easy to change, and the hospital is only 6 or 7 miles away too. FOB has already told me he wont be there when shes born, and hes says hes certain he wont change his mind or regret it, and apparently we'll end up argueing... when im in labour :wacko: :dohh:
    its not that i wont get support from my friends or my dad, its just although my friends are supportive, i dont think that theyll be able to help as far as raising and looking after Taylor is concerned. and as for my dad, he cant wait to meet his granddaughter, but recently hes been so tied up with spending all his free time with his attention seeking girlfriend (who has recently moved in with us, and will go out of her own way to get me and my brother moaned at)
    i think im gonna make the move to my mums, i mean, i have give him so many chances to prove himself, and everytime ive mentioned moving to my mums he doesnt say anything to change my mind...
    thanks for the advice, it really is appreciated :) :flow: xx
     
  7. aidensxmomma

    aidensxmomma 4 on Earth, Many in Heaven

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    If you feel that moving to your mom's is the best for you and Taylor, then that's what you should do. If FOB wants to be involved than he will make the effort to come see her regardless of where you live. And, really, even if you lived close it doesn't really mean he'll make more of an effort unfortunately. :flower:
     
  8. AirForceWife7

    AirForceWife7 Mama to Brenna.

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    I personally think you should make the move :flower: If you feel it is in you & your baby's best interest, that is. If there is negativity at your dad's house, get out of there .. I know the feeling! I moved from Pennsylvania to Florida (US) when I started sensing negativity around me because I needed to relax in order to have a healthy pregnancy. I honestly think you are doing the right thing! :) & as long as there isn't any problem getting you in to a new doctor & registered at a new hospital, I don't see a problem with it at all. It is up to your FOB when he wants to see his daughter, & if he truly was a man he would step up, be there for you during labor, & take that train ride every so often, but if he doesn't, then screw him. He's a POS, imo :haha: It's amazing you have the support of your mom & that she's willing to help. You're lucky because mine never did or offered any of that for me :flower: Good luck with your decision! :hugs:
     

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