Horribly Anxious and Depressed - 4 Weeks Pregnant

[cnote]

Hi All,

Well, just like the title says - I feel horrible emotionally. It's been this way since shortly before my positive test. I'm happy to be pregnant, and I'm getting married this Sat, so I'm happy about that too, but I still feel so sad and depressed. I feel like I can barely talk to my fiance, like I just want to stare at the wall or something, and at work, I feel like all my coworkers all dislike me. I never did well on birth control (clearly) because of the hormones, so I'm assuming this is basically the same deal. But it really blows. I feel so freaking negative about everything. I feel like I'm not financially prepared for this pregnancy (both my fiance and I have good jobs, but we live in the Bay Area, CA where 95% of people are forced to live paycheck to paycheck because of absurd cost of living), and my family is far away, and I just feel lost, and almost disturbed that something is growing uncontrollably in my body. Does anyone else feel this way or am I the lone loon here?

 

[xQuinnx]

This is my second pregnancy and I felt similar to how you described when I was 5 weeks pregnant. At one point I even regretted being pregnant because I was so convinced my husband now hated me because I was pregnant even though this baby was planned! My mood got better a couple of weeks later so it could be your hormones and get might settle, if not maybe mention it to your doctor for some support?

 

[cnote]

Thanks for replying! Good to know I'm not alone. It may be wedding pressures adding to it as well, but I do think it's mainly the hormones. I already struggle with depression and anxiety so, I'm very sensitive to changes that make it worse. Hoping it gets better...

 

[cnote]

And yes, I will mention it to my doc. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[HopingFor2v1]

I also suffered with bouts of anxiety during the early weeks of my pregnancy. Anxiety is something I've been dealing with on and off for the last few years, but shortly after finding out I was pregnant, I started experiencing it again. I'd say the anxiety was worse between about 5-7 weeks, and I'm chalking it up to hormones. Things have kind of leveled out now (knock on wood). If you ever want to talk, just PM me! Remember, this too shall pass!

 

[Mrs. MB]

I have to echo what you're saying about the area. I'm also in the SF suburb and the cost of living is absolutely absurd! It's given me pause on more than one occasion.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy and on the upcoming wedding! Once the wedding is done and you have your first ultrasound you will feel better.

I do agree you should mention the concerns to your doc!

We should start a coop day care... Or I don't even know. Living here is just ridiculous.

 

[Mrs.R]

Oh you poor thing. Such a turbulent time before a wedding anyway so no wonder you're feeling off. Yes probably just hormones honey, and after your wedding you may feel a great sense of relief. If the 'I can't cope' feeling still remains for a couple of weeks, or you continue to regret getting pregnant definitely let your doctor know. It may be something a little more.

 

[teaandme]

I can really understand some of what you are going through. I live in a high cost of living area as well and even though my husband and I have well paying jobs, we feel like we live paycheck to paycheck and will never be able to afford a house. It gets depressing sometimes.

I never did well on birth control either and I was a little emotional early in my first trimester, come to find out, my hcg levels were off the charts high so it was more the high hormone levels in my body than me not being able to handle things.

My family is also far away and I was actually angry about my pregnancy early on because I was so sick with nausea and vomiting. Getting married is stressful in itself, cut yourself some slack because a new pregnancy and thinking about finances are a lot to pack on top of that. I find that going for walks helps me, not sure if that might be something that helps you. I have dealt with significant anxiety and depression in the past so I also see a therapist from time to time so I can find ways to cope before it gets overwhelming.

I hope you get more of a sense of calm after the wedding is over this weekend, good luck!

 

[cnote]

Thank you everyone for all your thoughtful responses! It helps to know I'm not alone in experiencing these feelings and issues. I'm feeling SO much better today. I think the last couple days were some sort of [hopefully] isolated funk. I think after the wedding is done with, I will feel a lot better. It's been a ton of pressure to stay on top of everything, and look fantastic, and keep the happy face on...I'm sure some of you ladies deal with this too, but I basically do all the domestic stuff - all the cooking, cleaning, etc., because my fiance's industry and his work hours, I'm the only one who can do it. So all that stuff, on top of wedding planning, on top of full time work, on top of learning I'm pregnant...good lord!!

The fiance and I talked a little last night about my financial concerns and we decided to address it after the wedding. Mrs. MB - so sorry you're dealing with bay area expenses too, but I'm thankful someone understands! You're probably in an even more expensive area than us since you're in an SF suburb - ugh!!!! We're in San Jose at the moment, although my fiance commutes to Foster City everyday. We'd rather raise a kid on the peninsula somewhere (especially if I quite my SJ job to be a SAHM for a year or two if that makes the most financial sense), but the thought of paying 3k a month for some crappy apartment infuriates me!

Anywhoozles, thank you all for your support. As soon as the wedding is over, I will talk to my doctor about my anxieties and see what she recommends. Hope you all have a great Tuesday!

 

[trying2bamom]

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. Your hormones are probably going wild. It will get better at least I hope so. I understand how you feel You're not alone, Trust me

 

[Mrs. MB]

Cnote, I don't think San Jose is any cheaper these days if not more expensive. We just bought a house in August and before that were paying almost $3k for a one bedroom in San Mateo... Hubby commutes to Sunnyvale every day which sucks but I work on SF...

Where are you getting married? Are you so over the planning part? I know a week before my wedding I was just ready to murder

 

[cnote]

Hi Guys,

So it's post-wedding now. I feel more anxious and sad than ever! I didn't even enjoy the wedding day because I was so stressed and I just felt like crying the entire day. I have a phone call with an advice nurse on Friday to discuss safe medications I can take for this. I literally feel like a different person! Mentally fuzzy and so sad, and racing heart. A part of me just wants to run away across the country and start over - clearly a totally crazy thought process. Anyone else feeling like this??

 

[lemsz]

ah hunny, I want to tell you something, this will pass, if you get on meds or go for therapy it will pass, it does sound like you are suffering from anxiety and depression, it can make you feel very detached or mentally fuzzy like you said, i describe it as though the world got painted with grey, like everything is just bland, flat and blah. I become very anxious with that like I will stay that way forever, which is obviously just as symptom , and I try and find a day that I had a great happy day, and I remember that I didn't always feel like this and I won't always feel like this. You can get through this, be mindful of people that say silly things like oh just get over yourself, they just dont understand.

 

[cnote]

Thanks Lemsz for your comment. My husband is one of those people who doesn't understand it! He says do yoga, or drink some tea, go for a walk....I'm like you've got to be kidding! I think depression and anxiety is kind of like being drunk or on drugs, like almost nothing can make the feelings "go away" they just need to run their course. I'm use to these feelings to a degree, but right now they're very intense and I guess I just don't understand. I'm married to this awesome dude, and pregnant with our baby....I wish my brain would quit this nonsense.

 

[lemsz]

my husband likes to tell me not to fight hte anxiety, instead of trying not to feel , try take the power away from it, i know its frustrating cos like u said u have all these reasons to be happy and you dont understand why you are not, but it just doesnt work that way, its not logical