Horrid Dr - don't know what to do...

[CrazyMumma]

I've never really liked this doctor (we just changed as moved towns) abd usually try and time my appts for Thursday when I know he is not there. But today had to go and see him.

Last week it was suggested by the mental health team that I trial an anti-anxiety medication. I have been struggling for months, am on about 90% bedrest due to horrific pain from SPD and crappy joints. I have struggled with anxiety in the past. I'm not sleeping as I lay there worrying about the silliest things all night (hubby/kids dying, house on fire, me ending up in pain forever etc etc).

I asked this morning for something to help that I could safely take for the rest of the pregnancy and while breastfeeding.

His response - you don't look anxious. You will be fine just stop worrying. I said I was scared of PND as I already feel depressed. Again told me I look fine.

He didn't even try to find a safe option for me. Totally blew me off. I sat in the car after and cried and cried.

It took so much for me to go on and admit I need help. I built myself up for weeks to get the courage to ask. Now I just feel stupid

 

[justplay91]

I'm really sorry a medical professional of all people treated you that way. You don't "look" anxious?! What does that mean?? I have generalized anxiety, and I don't think I usually LOOK anxious either, I FEEL anxious. Geez. Can you talk to another doctor? I know most healthcare providers would much rather work on fixing potential PND before baby is born; the earlier the better.

 

[CrazyMumma]

He is the only Dr at that surgery (small town) and the locum who I usually try and see is only there once a week if I go to a different Dr surgery I pay 3x as much as I won't be enrolled there and they won't have access to my medical history. I want to try and change doctor clinics but it takes about 6 weeks to change so I am stuck

 

[LittleLala]

Wow I am so sorry you went through that. How absolutely neglectful of that dr. What a joke.
Is there a town close by that you could get an appointment with a gp with?? Just to talk to and get a prescription for a safe medication??
I hope you're okay I suffer from anxiety and it's so important that your doctor takes you seriously xx

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

I would try again. He sounds terrible but if you are serious about it stand your ground. Give examples of your anxieties and let him know you aren't sleeping and are depressed. Even if you look fine, you don't feel it and that should be (at the very least) discussed and attempt to be corrected- whether through medication or lifestyle change. Not talking about it is not really an option.

I had to cry in front of my ob at one point to get him to take me seriously about something, but when I didn't let him fluff me off and I provided 'evidence' to support my 'claim', he knew I was serious. Sometimes I think they must get a lot of people who aren't *really* having trouble and are just kind of inquiring about something that occasionally bothers them, so the doctors figure if you don't push then it isn't serious.

Obviously I have assumed you didn't push the first time, so if you did, please disregard! It can be disheartening to have them ignore you, stick to your guns! Could you go to the hospital if the doctor doesn't want to help?

 

[Sb86]

This is the reason I stay with my particular doctor even though I'm out of the area in which they take patients now. I'd hate to risk loosing a doctor who knows the last decade of my medical past and end up with someone with no bedside manner.

I'm sorry you're going through this, I totally empathise. What I would say is, please try and go back and be strong and tell the doctor that you may not look how he's expecting you to look, but that you need help.
Please don't walk out of that office again feeling like you've got no where.
Good luck x

 

[maya85]

can you get a new dr?

 

[CrazyMumma]

Sb86 I had an awesome doctor before too but driving 7 hrs for an appointment with her probably isn't an option!

I ended up having to go back this arvo with my daughter and he just made me feel like a neurotic mum for taking her in - its viral I can't help blah blah.

I have contacted the homeopath who worked wonders with my daughter so I will see if she can help, at least until I can get transferred to a new doctor clinic.

 

[meg_bellamy]

That is bloody awful and neglectful, he should be reported, mental illness should be taken very seriously, especially in pregnancy. I hope you can get some help x

 

[Shanslee]

That is absolutely absurd!

You don't "look" anxious? This coming from someone who is supposed to be a medical expert?!

I agree that you have to stand your ground. This is too important for that jerk to ignore.

The next time you go in, can you see a different doctor?

Either way, write down your concerns so that you don't skip over anything, and if you find that you are having trouble getting the words out, hand over the paper to read...that has helped me when I had a lot of questions about things but couldn't figure out how to ask them.

And if you have to see him again, and he refuses to take you seriously, it's time to talk to HIS boss. Take it over his head to someone who can not only help you, but can put HIM in his place. If he's doing this to you, he is doing it to others, and that is a flat-out dangerous situation for everyone he treats.

 

[2have4kids]

When my dad was over-dosing on narcotics prescribed by his family doctor for arthritis I spoke to her to let her (his GP) know that he was slurring words and driving in an intoxicated manner. I asked her if she had warned him about driving while on narcotics and asked why she had him on such a high dose. She gave me an answer with a proverbial finger-like tone so I let her know I'd be reporting her to the overseeing Provincial medical authority. She then quickly changed her tune and called a family meeting to discuss.

If you don't feel you got fair treatment from him go back and tell him you can't cope and need help. If he gives you what I call the proverbial finger, let him know you'll be making a formal complaint to ...(and you'll have already looked up who your local overseeing medical board is). I'm sure you'll get it sorted, it's just sad when we're not taken seriously the first time. Do try to find an alternate doctor, maybe that overseeing board can help you with it.

 

[bitethebullet]

some General practitioners are really not good at dealing with mental health at all. I would make another appointment with a Different doc!

 

[mummynummy]

sorry to hear that your dr is being a ass, i finally found a dr that is very understanding and i refuse to see other drs, im the same as you with anxiety and its awful, i also had to build up courage to admit i need help and my partner brings me back down saying i make it up or i am making it worse, some people done understand it unless they have it. i been on so many anti-depressants and im now on sertraline after trying floxitine and citalopram and so far they have been helpful, all the tablets i said have are safe during pregnancy and breast feeding, but they said floxitine is the safest and a good trial anti-depressant but it might be different where you are.
hope this helps and that you feel better soon

sorry for the misspelling i can not spell the anti-depressants names haha

 

[Jessicahide]

If this is how a Dr would speak to someone with mental health issues, then what hope has anyone suffering got!! Bloody disgusting I am really sorry you have been treated this way!!!

 

[spunky84]

I'm sorry that he treated you that way That's pretty crappy.

You can't simply look at someone and determine their mental health status. Someone could look depressed, but not actually be depressed. Someone could be smiling, but they could really be very depressed.

We just learned in class this week that if a patient is smiling, we can't just assume they are happy. So if we're documenting it, we cannot put "patient is happy" but instead need to put "patient is smiling". Smiling doesn't = happy.

I know it can be hard to fight for what you need, but it sounds like you've made an excellent step towards that. It's hard to ask for help. Try not to let him discourage you from asking for help again, whether from another doctor or from him again. Honestly, it's doctors like that that make me wonder why they went into the profession in the first place.

I'm sorry you had this happen to you, and I hope you don't let it discourage you from getting the help you need and deserve without ridicule.

 

[CrazyMumma]

Thank you ladies for all the support. Strange, but as I don't like telling people in real life how I feel it really does help to know that someone else out there gets it, even if I have no idea who they are.

The last few days have been really rough. I cry at nothing, I am a moody cow and my poor daughter gets her head bitten off for everything she does wrong - and she's a challenge at the best of times. I feel like all i do is snap at her.

I spoke to the obstetrician during my pre op assessment for the c section today and have been given citalopram to help. I've taken it before and it helped so I am holding onto hope that it will again. I've tried everything else I can think of, goodgled every self help technique and spent months feeling like this. Its time to take it to the next step.

Oh and I am definitely changing GP and looking into making a complaint once I feel able

 

[meg_bellamy]

well done hun, I am on Escitalopram and have been throughout my pregnancy, I would not have coped without it!