How can I relax?

[Jamandspoon]

Hi everyone, firstly I apologise for the ramble I am about to write, I don't know how to get out how I'm feeling so I thought I would look to you guys for some support.

In the last 6 months I have lost 2 beans on or around the 5 week mark.

This week I am at the 5 week mark, today I am 5+2, I can't relax, I can't enjoy feeling pregnant all I seem to do is worry and panic.

At the moment I am so scared as I can't stop taking HPT, although I am 5+2 the Clearblue digi is still showing only 2-3 weeks and it changed from 1-2 bang on the 2 week post conception mark - I know I ovulated on Tuesday 27th March - why hasn't it changed to 3+ by now?? I also have cramping in my uterus, like period achiness almost but yesterday and today it has been there most of the time. I veer from thinking crampiness is good - it's everything stretching to crampiness is what happened prior to bleeding last time.

I'm finding it hard because we are in France and my family and closest friends are in the UK - we haven't told anyone yet as I am too worried incase this isn't my sticky bean. We have friends out here, but not ones close enough to talk this through with.

I keep setting myself little goals and saying when this happens I'll know everything is going to be ok... I'm stuck on the 3+ digi now

Thanks for listening.

 

[horseypants]

i'm in a similar boat. something that REALLY helped me was yesterday i spent an hour looking baby pictures of my oh. sit down with either your baby album or his. go steal it from the family clandestinely if you have to. it helped so much.

 

[crancherry]

Hi Jam, I hit my 7 week mark today, which is the same time as my m/c before. I also had 2 losses in 6 months (one at 5wks and one at 7). It is quite nerve wracking but it feels like a small victory to pass this date without any real negative signs yet. I too was obsessing over tests, taking them multiple times a day and watching for the line to get darker (we don't have the week-to-week digi's in the US, probably a good thing!) I finally made myself STOP testing altogether as it became more stressful than helpful.

I don't have anyone to lean on for support except people here on this forum. My mom and sister know but neither is very helpful as they are generally pretty self-absorbed. Can't even lean on OH as anytime I complain of an ache or pain, he says, "Are you losing it?" (meaning having another m/c). NOT very comforting. I also don't have a doctor or midwife yet to reassure me, as I don't have medical insurance or assistance, so I will have to wait until my ultrasound next week to proceed with setting up a care plan and payments. Quite a lonely position.

I have found the best way to get through it so far is to try to stay busy and keep your mind occupied. Whenever you find your mind wandering into the "worry-zone," take a walk, do some housework, play games on your phone, watch a movie - whatever to distract yourself and let the time pass.

I am sure everything will be ok, just hang in there and know that you are not alone - this place is chock full of us all going through the same thing! Big

 

[Jamandspoon]

Hi Jam, I hit my 7 week mark today, which is the same time as my m/c before. I also had 2 losses in 6 months (one at 5wks and one at 7). It is quite nerve wracking but it feels like a small victory to pass this date without any real negative signs yet. I too was obsessing over tests, taking them multiple times a day and watching for the line to get darker (we don't have the week-to-week digi's in the US, probably a good thing!) I finally made myself STOP testing altogether as it became more stressful than helpful.

I don't have anyone to lean on for support except people here on this forum. My mom and sister know but neither is very helpful as they are generally pretty self-absorbed. Can't even lean on OH as anytime I complain of an ache or pain, he says, "Are you losing it?" (meaning having another m/c). NOT very comforting. I also don't have a doctor or midwife yet to reassure me, as I don't have medical insurance or assistance, so I will have to wait until my ultrasound next week to proceed with setting up a care plan and payments. Quite a lonely position.

I have found the best way to get through it so far is to try to stay busy and keep your mind occupied. Whenever you find your mind wandering into the "worry-zone," take a walk, do some housework, play games on your phone, watch a movie - whatever to distract yourself and let the time pass.

I am sure everything will be ok, just hang in there and know that you are not alone - this place is chock full of us all going through the same thing! Big

Hi Crancherry. thank you so much for taking the time to write that, I really appreciated it. Congrats on your pregnancy. I'm sorry that it's difficult for you to find the support, that's why this site is so great - people like you prepared to share their story and support others.
Thanks for the words of advice, you are so right and seeing it written down makes me feel a bit daft for doing it, but at least I'm not the only one who kept on peeing on those sticks!
I'm really glad your pregnancy is going well, sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs.
You really made me feel more positive, thank you

 

[horseypants]

i told myself i'd stay off b&b and stop googling stuff but here i am. how are you guys today? my oh just left for a trip today and i'm at work. keeping busy but getting tired out so easily .

 

[crancherry]

Yeah, the internet, the best/worst thing ever for us! I find myself nodding off sitting in my chair looking at my computer. Ugh! Having some painful little twinges around my right ovary area but trying to ignore them for now. Been off and on achy around there the whole time, I am hoping it has just been that corpus luteal cyst I keep reading about that hangs around until the placenta takes over...

Just P-A-T-I-E-N-T-L-Y W-A-I-T-I-N-G until next week

 

[Cata]

Hi hun,

All my mcs have been at the 5 week mark and last one was one month before I got this bfp.

I was freaking out when I found out and I had to fly home next week as per the doctor's recommendation ( I worked on a cruise ship casino) When I got home It got worse because I started googling all the bad things that can happen during pregnancy and readin sad threads At my 10 week scan my doctor gave me a long lecture about how my stress can harm my baby and how my LO can suffer just because i cannot accept this is really happening

My advice is stop testing, you already know you're pregnant and that's what the tests ae made for, don't put your peace of mind on a test hun. Stay away from google and sad threads at least until you feel secure enough.

All I did on my computer for a week was to look at funny videos and that helped a lot lol. Have faith that this will be your forever baby and if you believe in a higher power then pray

I hope time flies for you as it is flying for me now all the best for you and beanie.

 

[MightyMom]

I am on here ALL THE TIME. I try to just read positive threads and DEFINITELY stay away from the sad ones! It will just make you worry!

I keep having twinges and pinches on my cervix and every little pain makes me think I am having another m/c. But that is a mistake! You should be feeling a lot going on down there! So change your thinking so that every twinge or pull is a good thing. It means your womb is stretching out to make room for you baby. Let it be a GOOD reminder that you are not bleeding and that the baby is still safe.

 

[Jamandspoon]

Thank you all, it's great to hear there are lots of people with similar fears... I *finally* got the 3+ on the digi so decided it was time to stop with the testing and googling - and you are all perfectly correct my stress levels have come down!
I also went to see the doctor who put me straight on progesterone, took about 2 pints of blood for various tests and is going to give me an early scan!


Thank you for taking the time to reply to me - I really appreciate it and best of luck to everyone!

xxx

p.s. To boost my confidence I decided to get a ticker!

 

[MightyMom]

Oh yeah, a ticker is a great idea!

 

[Cata]

Thank you all, it's great to hear there are lots of people with similar fears... I *finally* got the 3+ on the digi so decided it was time to stop with the testing and googling - and you are all perfectly correct my stress levels have come down!
I also went to see the doctor who put me straight on progesterone, took about 2 pints of blood for various tests and is going to give me an early scan!


Thank you for taking the time to reply to me - I really appreciate it and best of luck to everyone!

xxx

p.s. To boost my confidence I decided to get a ticker!

I'm glad to know you are feeling better now

I am also on progesterone and I'm convinced this has made all the difference on this pregnancy

Yay for your ticker!! happy and healthy 9 months