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How did you decide on when to try,any advice?

tkeith8109

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I'm posting in this forum with the hopes of getting more of a response. My husband and I currently have 1 girl and 1 boy, ages 5 and almost 4. We have recently decided that we want to start trying sometime this fall or early next year for our 3rd and final baby. I keep thinking about all of the reasons why we should wait as long as possible, this way our son will be in kindergarten and it will help us with childcare, mainly the only reason, but at the same time we really wanted this last time to be different and not so stressful. With our first 3 pregnancies, one ended in mc at 7 weeks, we were actively trying-it was so routine and not really that fun at all. We had a lot going on and honestly were not in the right position to have kids, but we made it work and are doing very well right now. Plus we absolutely adore our kids. Since this is our last and we already have one of each, we wanted to take that stress off and just let nature takes it's course. However, we still find ourselves trying to plan which time of the year we want the child's birth to be in and everything we would like to see happen before anything starts. This really just goes against the going with the flow we really want. Does anyone have any suggestions on how they decided to proceed with another child? Did anyone "go with the flow" instead of planning and how did that work out for you and vice versa? I know that when we feel it's right we will know and right now I'm literally going back and fourth every day.

A friend of mine is currently trying for her 3rd and told me that if we want it we should really just go for it, it could take 1 month or 12 to get pregnant, there is no guarantee and we should just let it happen, however this is a little scary!

Thanks in advance and sorry so long.
 
Ummmm, I'm a little crazy and have just gotten pregnant as soon as the last 'baby' starts sleeping through lol; only tried for number 5 as had a couple MC's. I think this has helped it happen quickly as am not over thinking it or stressed. I vote just go for it!!! But then I also have 5 children from 14 mnths to 3 years apart, lol. Wishing you luck whatever you decide! Xxx
 
Thank you. I just feel like if we just go for it then we're being almost stupid about it. Idk. My husband wants to wait until we move this summer into a house before we start trying, which makes sense, but at the same time it's happening now matter what so why wait. Like I said earlier the main thing is having our son and a baby in daycare, however I can work out my work schedule for a few months where I work mainly at nights and on the weekends to help with the child care stuff until our son is in kindergarten. My boss talked to me yesterday and said he needed my help on nights to get the crew back on track and after that I'll mainly go to days. My ovaries are screaming at me right now, but it's such a hard decision.
 
We kept saying we'll wait a bit then a bit more then my doctor messed up my pill prescription & we took it as a sign to stop taking it!

Figured it could take a few months but no had one period then bam, baby number 2!

I don't think there is such a thing as the "right" amount of time because you'll always find good reasons for & against.

Good luck!
 
We definitely planned on when to start trying, but that was because I was in school and wanted to make sure I finished before having a baby. Our plan was to properly "try" for 6 months, if nothing happened then we would relax and just go with the flow. I ended up getting pregnant 3 times the first 3 months we were trying, first two were chemicals/early miscarriages, the third stuck and now I have a 7 week old old daughter. So we never got to the relaxed stage of TTC. To be honest I'm not sure I could ever have been relaxed about it, I know when my period is due every month and I am very regular, so I would always know when my fertile window is, when I could start testing, etc. So if we ended up "going with the flow" all that would mean is that we wouldn't talk about it, and I would end up secretly pissed off if hubby didn't feel like DTD when I knew I was in my fertile window and I would end up being secretly anxious and feeling like I couldn't talk about pregnancy symptoms while in the two week wait, etc, so I'm glad we never got to the "relaxed" stage. When we were trying there were definitely sessions where the sex itself was not fun, but we kept a sense of humour about it which made it fun it its own way. There were times when hubby would get himself just to the brink of ejaculation while I layed next to him fighting to stay awake, then he would roll over and "finish" inside of me. Then we'd laugh and high five about being the best at having the worst sex ever, kiss each other goodnight, and go to sleep. I don't think "going with the flow" works for everyone, you really have to be able to completely take your mind off the possibility of getting pregnant, and I was never able to do that.
 
I actually feel like I would love to be the kind of person that could go with the flow, but if I'm honest I probably would be the same way. We decided today to go ahead and get into a house, which was the main reason for waiting, so maybe now our time line will be pushed up!
 

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