How did you feel after a c-section?

Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by Shorty, Aug 20, 2009.

  1. Shorty

    Shorty Well-Known Member

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    I had a c-section for my first baby a year ago and I felt totally cheated after. I wanted a natural birth so badly. When I found out I was pregnant all I could think about was the birth and how wonderful it would be and how I would be passed my baby and my husband and I would be crying with joy. It didn’t go like that at all.

    The reason I had a c-section was because he was breech at first. They did turn him but he didn't engage and I didn't go into labour so I have never felt a proper contraction or anything. I am gutted. It still makes me so upset to this day.

    I still feel there is a part of me missing some how....

    I am now 17 weeks preg again and have been told I have a low laying placenta. I know I have very chance that this will move up but everyday I worry that I will have to have another one and will never push.........I’m not too posh to push.

    I know I sound selfish as I have a healthy wonderful child who really is an angel and this one is growing normally and as is going well but I just can't help it.

    Did anyone else feel like this?
     
  2. beancounter

    beancounter Well-Known Member

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    I was upset because i wanted a natural birth but he wasnt well and he was breech so I knew it was best. I happened to go into labour the night before so ended up with an em. section but mostly I think I was happy he was ok (eventually) even though the birth was shit, it was just one day out of many we get to have together. I don't think I will have another as the rhesus disease would be even worse this time but I wouldn't mind a section if I had to, it was kind easy, though traumatic too. I do feel that a lot of pressure is put on us to have this epic momentous perfect birth but does it really make that much difference? I've decided to be grateful we have the medical technology to allow my little boy to survive. I hope the placenta moves up for you :hugs:

    oh and I got the too posh to push comments too. I was so cross I would have pushed.... them out of the window :hissy:
     
  3. Peanut78

    Peanut78 Mum of 2

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    I also had an emergency c- section after a failed induction. I really don't feel cheated at all, although it wasn't the birth i had planned and anticipated, it was the most memorable day in my life nonetheless (i often replay it in my head daily!).

    I also realise it was medically necessary and the safest way for my son to be delivered given the circumstances. I feel quite blessed to have had such a good team of medical proffessionals.

    I will aim for a VBAC next time, but also won't mind should it be a c-section again.

    BTW, I had a low-lying placenta in my 2nd trei, but it moved up by 3rd tri - like you said - they mostly do. So every chance you will have a VBAC :thumbup:

    xx
     
  4. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

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    I had an emergency c-section after my water broke, no contractions started up, so I was induced.. dilated well and everything but baby was just not coming out. No urge to push, and the doctor said my birth canal was too narrow to deliver her.

    I do feel bad somedays, I don't feel like I "gave birth"/"delivered" my baby. I feel more like she was surgically removed from me. I feel bad that I can't relate to people when they talk about watching videos of their childbirth, etc.

    I had complications following my c-section that I would not have had if I delivered vaginally so I am a little bitter about that.. I was ill for weeks because of the c-section and I feel like I missed out of a lot with my first born child. I went back into the hospital when she was 1 week old and made the decision not to expose her to germs etc. and left her home with my mom.. and I don't regret not bringing her in there, because it was a good decision for her health, but I do regret having to go back in at all if that makes sense.. :(
     
  5. Shorty

    Shorty Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all so much for your replies. It really does help to here your stories.

    Please don't think that for one moment im not gratefull that I have my wonderful baby boy beacuse I am and there is not one day that goes by that I don't say thanks that he is safe and healthy and I have been able to have children as this is not the case.

    Im just praying that what ever happens birth wise my next LO is as healthy and happy as this one.

    Bean counter: thanks for your comments: I know what you mean about medical technology beacuse if it wasn't for this who knows what would have happend. Love them.

    Tasha: im sorry to hear of your story but I think I would have made the same decision as you as not to take her into the hospital. You did the right thing.

    Good luck to you all
    x
     
  6. DonnaBallona

    DonnaBallona newlyweds!

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    I can COMPLETLEY relate.

    I was given a crash section at 32 weeks due to extreme pre eclampsia. I was asleep when she was delivered and woke up in intensive care on a ventilator.
    My daughter was 2 days old when I finally got to meet her in SCBU, wired up to high heaven. I nearly died the day I had her.

    I am completley and utterly devestated still, even after 7 months. I cannot get over the fact that I never saw my daughter when she was born, my OH wasnt with me and that all those things happened. I am absolutly PETRIFIED that the same thing will happen again and I genuinly feel sick when I think about that day. I dont care at all one bit that I may have to have a section again, (although secretly I desperatly want a VBAC!)-I just want my OH with me! Absolutly Devestated.

    I sincerely hope that you get the birth you want this time round xx
     
  7. Shorty

    Shorty Well-Known Member

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    Hi DonnaBallona,

    Thank you so much for your post. I just felt like no one else got the way I felt.........
    I am so sorry that you had the experience you had. I hope that you can come to terms with it soon. They do say time heals. So lets hope so for both of us.

    I hate the way I feel but just can't help it. Every day during this pregnancy I think about the birth and if it will be a VBAC???? I don't want to set myself up for a fall (as in think a VBAC is possible but end up with a c-section). Only time will tell.

    Good luck for the future and I hope it is all you wish for.
    xx
     
  8. ellismum

    ellismum Ellis' mum!!

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    Speak to your MW or HV and ask if they have a traumatic birth councellor. I have access to one should I need due to Ellis's birth but I haven't seen her as my HV is excellent and I have great friends and family who will sit and listen.

    I too wanted a natural birth but went 13 days late and Ellis reacted very badly to the induction so had an emergency C section. We ended up staying in hospital for 4 days as he had to spend time in SCBU due to him having very low blood sugar levels and body temp. I then went on to have further complications with my scar, it opened up and become infected. Sometimes I hate it when people tell me "well at least he's healthy and happy, that matters" makes me feel selfish when I explain how bad it was for me and he also needs a happy and healthy mum, that too matters!!!!

    I read this week that 72% of mums that have a c-sec then go onto have a succesful VBAC which I find very reassuring as I will aim for this should we have another child. As also mentioned, low lying placentias can move You are certainly not alone in what you are feeling, none of you are x x x x
     
  9. NoSpringChick

    NoSpringChick Well-Known Member

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    Tasha said: I do feel bad somedays, I don't feel like I "gave birth"/"delivered" my baby. I feel more like she was surgically removed from me

    I can totally relate to that - I don't even know what it's like to give birth and wont say 'I gave birth' - I struggle to find the right words for how she was born, and I found it really upsetting for ages after and felt it harder to feel like I had a bond and it had to be worked at - plus with not seeing the cord or placenta or anything ---- being handed a wrapped up baby after everyone else got to hold her ----I felt like I wasn't important, that me and her were truly seperated the moment they took her out.
    I don';t think people understand what it feels like - they think you should be grateful that baby is fine, and of coure you are! but something gets lost in those early moments that stays with you I think. I think there will always be a sadness over her birth for me.
     
  10. DonnaBallona

    DonnaBallona newlyweds!

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    You have 100% hit the nail on the head here.

    I know exactly what you mean. My entire family had been in to see my daughter before I even woke up from my anesthetic. I felt REALLY crappy when I finally came round on a ventilator to be told that my daughter was beautiful-by my mum! :cry: I didnt mind toooooooo much I guess that they had all seen her-but I hadnt even seen a picture of her! All the ideas in my head of how the birth was going to be comletley vanished at this precise moment and it wasnt a nice feeling.

    I hope you all find some peace in your experiences soon. xx
     
  11. doumauk

    doumauk mama to salim,expecting

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    I had an emergency c-section because I was in labour 16 hours and only made it to 8cm, the doctor forced my cervix to 10cm and after an hour of pushing he hadnt budged, stubborn little boy lol. I was just so relieved to have him delivered healthily and pretty much straight away to be honest. Also because I had a pretty traumatic birth first time round, 16 hour labour episiotomy and ventouse, It was nice to not be totally traumatised for weeks after and also it was nice to move without feeling like my bottom half was going to drop out tmi. The only thing I really missed and still wish it could of happened, was having him put straight to my chest when he was born. I didnt get to hold him until he was 1 hour old and he was taken out of the theatre while they were stitching me up, It felt like I hadnt given birth. Im also not too posh to push, but by what the doctor said, I will never get a normal birth. Im just grateful I managed to have Salim 'normally' but as long as they arrive safe and healthy thats all that matters.
     
  12. bumpsmum

    bumpsmum Mummy to Matthew & Daniel

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    I also had an emergency c-section, at 33+4 due to pre-eclampsia and severe upper gastric pain (HELLP syndrome was suspected) and like another mum has mentioned it felt like he was taken from me, ripped from my body i felt empy right away. It was a good 7 or 8 hours later before I got to see him in SCBU and 3 days before I got a cuddle.

    My section went really smoothly and I said right away Id do that part again, a little cut and sore for a day as oppossed to second and 3rd degree tears and episotomies Id heard horror stories off - no thanks! But now I do feel a little cheated not to have experienced a contraction, a push and have baby laid on my chest right away.

    What I missed most was that last 7 weeks with bubs in my tum, kicking, growing I was never that big so didnt get the big bump I wanted from 28 weeks or so I was really swollen, hands, feet, face - I had no neck! and barely even looked preg that final phase of nesting and blooming is what I miss most - cant wait for that next time around and if I manage to go to term and deliver that would be icing on the cake x
     

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