How did you know you were ready?

[PnkPolkaDots]

Curious to hear everyone else's thoughts on this. How did you know you were ready for a baby? Or, as ready as anyone can be.

I know we're ready because we accomplished our major goal of finishing college (even though I decided to add an additional cert. right now) and have a great, strong relationship and feel ready for the next adventure together. We're very happy with our life together and can't wait to share it with someone else. Finances aren't perfect but they probably won't ever be. But we value family more than material things so to us its worth it.

 

[jtr2803]

We stopped feeling like a baby would hold us back from doing the things we love. Instead, we realised that having a child to share those experiences with was exciting.

We've also done lots of travelling, had plenty of just 'us' time, we have a house and money, we feel that a little one will just enhance our lives now.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

With DD, I just went from being okay with not having a kid, to suddenly having that huge urge that I needed a baby NOW - thankfully hubby agreed when I asked if we could start trying then instead of waiting a few more years like we had agreed.

This time around, it's when I had more "I want another one" moments versus "I'm happy with just one".

Our finances have always been good, we have a strong/happy relationship, and we can afford more children, so that was never an issue. I am glad to have lost the weight before going through another pregnancy though!

 

[ask86]

Our daughter was a surprise on BCP
This time we are not "ready"... there is no such thing lol The insanity of that first year (the first 3-4 months especially) is not something you can be ready for or understand until you are in the middle of it...
Our finances are ok (we both work full time and indulge occasionally), we have a 2 bedroom apartment that looks like a messy version of toys r us lol and we have frequent arguments over the dishes, dirty socks on the floor and taking out the trash. But we also know no matter how stressed, pissed or exhausted we are we love our daughter more then we ever thought possible to love anyone or anything and we feel ready to go on that insane rollercoaster all over again
Don't wait for "the perfect time" - it will never come... People spend far too much time searching for perfection when they are IN the perfect moment now!

 

[AnglophileAsh]

For me, I have been ready for years. I'm 32, and have wanted babies my whole life. I was fine with waiting until my 20's began to show that I wasn't going to have one on purpose with any of the men I dated, and that was really hard. I finally met the man I love and will spend my life with when I was 29, and he is 2 years older, so we didn't want to wait very long. We very nearly started TTC last fall, but decided to get a few things in place first, like a new (better layout) house. While I really hated having to wait, I knew that it just couldn't happen with the wrong guy. My OH is going to be a great father, and our families are extremely supportive. So now, it feels like the right time (or rather, August will be, ha). Only a few more weeks!!!

 

[Nibblenic]

After DD I said I would never have another one. We had a horrible pregnancy and a worse birth and however much she was an 'easy' baby I struggled looking after her after a serious car crash when she was just over 1.

Shes 6 now and we finally feel ready, we have a spare room and fairly financially secure and my daughter is in obvious need of a sibling to mother. Plus she would be a very only child with no cousins and no aunts or uncles as she aged.

We're planning on weight loss and I need to come off morphine before TTC. We've just finished building a house last month so Ive given myself 6 months to come off morphine then we're going to TTC

 

[wtbmummy]

We both started getting broody tbh in the sep. We still werent married at that point. Then got married nov 2012. We wanted to be married and enjoy some "us" time before ttc no.1 also we wanted to be moved out of the inlaws house. Or be ready too.

Like kitteh kat it suddenly went from, oo a baby would be nice to I need a baby NOW!! Every conversation was about babies or turned into babies. We planned to ttc in the summer that year (2013) but wanted a baby so much we tried in the spring. Then along came our gorgeous boy n now I'm back wtt no.2 until next summer ,

 

[MindUtopia]

I felt like I was ready when we got tired of doing all the things we could still do while child-free (traveling, nights out, etc.) and there wasn't anything else we felt we wanted to do that we would regret not doing before we had the responsibility of being parents. We traveled a lot. We lived all over the world. We had nights out. We slept in. I felt like I had my fill of doing all those things I knew I wouldn't easily be able to do once we became parents and I was at a point when I was ready to move on and do something different, or at least not having any regrets about things I didn't do. Also, it was less a matter of feeling ready than just feeling like we didn't have time to wait anymore. I had a convenient break in my professional life when I could take time off and I was 32 when I had my daughter, so it felt like waiting would make it harder to do it later when I had more professional commitments on my shoulders. I was never "broody" though and never someone obsessed with babies. It was just a good time when doing it any sooner or later would have been less of a good time. For us, I think that worked. Not to say I don't miss doing things I used to do, but there are no regrets. I can have a rare evening out or go away for 3 days for a work trip and it's exciting because it's so rare, but after that, I'm glad to be back home and don't miss the freedom I used to have all that much because the thrill has worn off. (Though, I wouldn't mind being able to get a good night's sleep more often!)

 

[ask86]

I have never understood (and still don't...) the concept of "giving things up" to have a child/ more children... Is that really how people think?! I think that's a little sad! I feel my daughter has added more to our life and we didn't have to "give up" anything... we still travel - with her...We go out on the weekends with her, if we have an event we get a babysitter, I honestly cannot think of one thing that I have had to stop doing since my daughter... I guess we just decided that she had to fit into our lives and not structure ours around her, when I choose activities (ex. gymnastics, swim etc) I just choose times that don't interfere with my or hubby's schedule and everyone is happy - and when the next baby comes it will be more of the same lol his or her activities will be scheduled around the 3 of us... Just my 2 cents...

 

[SumitaSofat]

There is no perfect time. It's all about understanding between both of you and physically fit to carry pregnancy.

 

[gigglebox]

This is a very interesting thread!

I've wanted a kid for a long time (since my teens, but more seriously in my early 20's) i got the partying stuff out of my system early....got married to the love of my life, and was ready for the next step. I guess I just felt the need to nurture a life and I definitely had a strong desire to be pregnant. He was apprehensive but I talked him into it...we got pregnant immediately. Having an infant was incredibly hard though, and we both decided to only ever have one.

Well, that one is now 3 and we have both changed our minds (this time, he's talked me into it). I realized I was ready this time when I heard an infant cry and I didn't shudder. Seriously. Crying infants used to make me cringe because it reminded me of those first few traumatic months. So now that we're both on board, were waiting for some more income to come in (we're starting a farm) and to clean up our somewhat new house a bit (the basement that is currently used for storage will be cleaned up for a playroom).

Additionally, I want to wait so my son is about 5, as I like the idea of this age gap, plus he'll hopefully be somewhat self-sufficient at that point (potty trained, dress himself, get into his own booster, etc.) so the addition of a baby won't be as difficult.

 

[stefdan]

There are variety of reasons that I heard from others. Some said they heard the voice from god, other said they are ready to because they've achieved something big. The most common reason I heard is that they think they have a steady relationship and ready to move on to the next stage to build their own family. Everyone has their own reason, and to me, it just a simple enough reason- when the time comes, you will just know!