How did you tell your parents???

[lilshortass]

im 18, so i guess im not really young (in a sense, if u get me!) but my parents are going to go MAD when they find out im pregnant. i told my big sister, shes 26 and she had her first baby when she was 20, and shes been great. however, when she told mum, she told her to have an abortion and that shes ruined her life, and she still makes little digs every so often.
thing is, my sister was living away from home and had been for 3 years. im still living at home, moving in with my boyfriend soon hopefully.
im really worried and to be honest terrified about telling my parents as i know how angry and upset they are going to be.
thank god my sis said she will be there when i tell her, and shes supporting me brilliantly (i dunno what i would have done without her)
but i was wondering how did you all tell your parents? what was your situation and how mad did they go? or were they really supportive (as i believe parents should be...)
thanks!

 

[Jo]

Well i was 20 like your sister and had my own house and stuff
I just told them and they were brilliant, really excited and supportive and so were OH's parents

Good luck hun

 

[lilshortass]

see thats how i think parents should be, mistake or planned, if you want the baby i think they should support you whatever. your so lucky that your mum was like that!
its mad comparing you to my sister- mum told her to have an abortion and that she was ruining her life...
i suppose really if my mum says the same to me (sis reckons she will but worse as im 2 years younger, sis also reckons mum will blame her!!) as she did my sister then i should just tell her where to go, cos if shes not gonna support me then surely its not worth me calling her mum, is it?

 

[Jo]

To me at 18 you are an adult and capable of making your own decisions
Ok your mum might not be happy about it but she should be there for you no matter what
I know you said you were shocked and it wasn't planned, so i am assuming you thought long and hard about what you wanted to do.

I think your mum will probably give you the 'while you are under my roof' routine, but as you said you are looking to move in with your BF, would it be possible to keep quiet until then?
Mind you i can't see how your mum hasn't noticed anything, sickness and stuff.
When are you thinking of telling her? what will your dads reaction be?

I'm sorry but your sis will probably get a lecture as well, I'm an older sister and i know!!

let us know how you get on chick
we are here for you if you need a rant

 

[stephlw25]

I was 20 when i fell pregnant and dreaded telling my parents, i think i put it off until i was about 14/15 weeks. I went around one evening when my dad was working and it took me about 3 hours to get it out, i just sort of said "mum, ive got something to tell you, dont me mad at me !!" i was hoping at this point she was going to say "are you pregnant" to save me saying it but no she comes out with "oh my god you havent murdered someone have you?" hmmm how random !!

Anyway, she was fine about it, i think because i already lived with my DH so was more or less settled, if i was still living at home she probley wouldnt be so understanding!!! lol

I was going to say the same as Jo and maybe hold off telling her until youve moved in together? but as time is ticking on she may notice soon when you start getting bigger !! or if you leave it too late she may wonder why you didnt tell her sooner? i would say though if its worrying you or stressing you out etc, just tell them and get it out the way !?

Good luck however you decide to go about it, let us know how you get on!

 

[lilshortass]

thanks for your replies!
i wouldnt even consider abortion now, but i know thats what my mum will try and make me do (like she tried to make my sister) so thats one of the reasons im leaving it a long time to tell her - to hopefully stop her saying this (as it will be impossible), as i know its going to really hurt me if she says this.
and i am going to wait until i move in with my boyfriend till i tell them (he didnt seem to understand this at first- he thinks im 'stupid for being scared of my mum and if she doesnt support me then i should tell her to **** off' charming) but thing is im now wondering if hes really ready for a baby (he called me the other day as he had to wait for the bus for a couple of hours, and he told me really excitedly that he'd been shopping. i got really excited, thinking at last he'd bought something for the baby. but no, he blew all his money on clothes for himself. i have bought everything for the baby so far, and i dont even work! i sell random things on ebay to scrape together some money and i havent spent a penny on myself since i found out i was preg! its all been on the baby).
my dads going to be worse than my mum- he has attachment problems and so doesnt have unconditional love for his kids, he only loves them if they earn it. he doesnt love me (and hes told me many times, im a pile of ****, the black sheep of the family, a stupid little child who doesnt understand anything and needs to grow up... yep believe it or not these are actual things he reguarly says to his youngest daughter! ). my brother earned his love by going to uni. something i wont be doing in a hurry.

on a posative note- ive had a brilliant pregnancy! i only felt sick about 3 times and this was before i even knew i was pregnant, but havent been sick yet. always been really skinny, gettin a tiny bit bigger now but mum thinks its good im puttin on weight as i dont look like a skeleton!

they are on holiday till next mon, so im ok for now.

i feel so much better having found this site and being able to express my feelings to people who understand. thanks everyone and im sorry for the long posts!!

 

[Jo]

Hey girlie, don't be sorry for long posts, it does good to get it all off your chest
As for BF blowing all his money on clothes, i think we get more excited and want to shop for tiny things a lot earlier
What you need to do is get a babies r us book and leave it lying about, he'll soon realise the cost of stuff :wink:

I am really sorry about how your dad treats you hun, i can't imagine how that must feel
The sooner you are in own house the better i think
and just out of interest what is your mum like with your sisters baby now?

If she loves her/him to bits just point this out to her that this wonderful child wouldn't be here now if she had her own way!!

 

[weestar21]

their is no real easy way of telling your parents its best you just come straight out with it, but the longer you leave it hun teh harder it will get.

I was mopre scared of telling the in laws second time round and i avoided them as much as i could when i was pregnant with Colby i had a neat bump and with a baggy jumper on you couldnt see a bump although i was pushing 6 months i was due in the mach and finally told them on new years day big shock to them no congratulations from them, they just said we were off our heads and beings stupid but their wasnt anything they could do, me and OH were happy and it was our life and our baby's.

but once they knew it was so much easier to relax

If you find it very difficult to tell your parents why dont you try while they are on holiday to write a letter telling them its what you want just basicly writting down all your feelings

im sure however you decide to tell them when the time is right for you, they might b a little shocked but im sure they will support you in your descision

take care hun
xxxxxx

 

[lilshortass]

my boyfriend told his dad, who was really excited (hes always believed in us, he thinks we're really good together), and we've yet to tell his mum. but apparently she'll be really excited. its both their first grandchild.

whenever my sister comes round, my mum sticks her kids (now 3 and 5) in the next room and goes on with her everyday life, computer, moaning, cleaning etc as if there not there. she doesnt really care about them. she never goes in the other room and plays with them or anything, like i do.

i know this is going to sound awful, but i really want a boy as my mums got 4 granddaughters and im hoping if mines her first grandson, she might like him a bit more? on the other hand im hoping for a girl for my boyfriends mum as shes only had sons.

im not sure what i want. i want a boy as then he will be the big brother (when we have more) and also ive not had much experience of baby boys, having only had nieces, so i think it will be exciting (yet scary!!) having a lil man, playing football and lil blue cord dungarees are sooo cute. also do they really pee in your face when you change their nappy?!?!?! but i also wanna girl for the usual reasons women want a girl- to dress in pretty dresses and do her hair, pink room and eventually (when shes older) have lil girly chats with.

a month and a day till i find out!!

anyway back to the point... i cant tell mum in a letter, as i think i owe it to her to tell her face to face. i dont really get on with my parents, but family means everything to me, and i do respect them in a weird way.

with my sis, they always (still!!) make digs at her and tell her shes ruined her life having her kids. my sis said it hurts real bad cos they have never supported her.

and the worst thing- my sis said that when she had her first baby, mum was there and when she held the baby for the first time (she was honestly the most beautiful baby i have ever seen!) she just had a blank expression on her face, no love or anything. my sis said thats stayed with her, and upsets her even now. i think thats awful and ive got it all to come

 

[Jo]

Aww hunny i feel for you i really do
your sister must hurt so bad, at least you will be there for each other
At the end of the day it will be your mums loss, she will miss out on everything and as your children grow they will notice it
I am glad at least your children will have a loving set of grandparents and it sounds like they will be there for you too

And yes boys do pee upwards, Jacks went over the couch and hit the wall

 

[lilshortass]

aaaaahhhhhh!!!! thats mad!! so how many times have you been pee'd at? lol

 

[Jo]

Ooh its loads in the first few week, you learn the signs though!!

 

[Spunky Cupkake]

hi hun both of you together just go and tell your parents as the bigger your gonna get and you wont be able to hide that bump at least it will be off your chest and they can get used to the idea good luck spunky xx

 

[lilshortass]

havent been on here for aaaaaaages. but it all went well! mum went mad at first and didnt talk to me for a few days, but now shes fine. buying loadsa baby clothes and maternity clothes and stuff! yay!

 

[Wobbles]

I'm so glad things turned out well for you hun

& welcome back

 

[Daniellemum2b]

Well i'm 17, well 18 in 1 week...I just sat my parents down when they weren't so busy and when it was convienient for them, I just told them straight out that they we're going to be grandparents and i was expecting and at first they we're shocked and disappointed and a touch bit angry with me but then i made vows that i'd be a responsible parent and do all the changing and feeding and the night time thing and they've been sort of won around to the idea of me being a mum so it's not so bad

 

[Yummy Mummy Nat]

As soon as I took the test at 4 + 1, I called mum and told her and she said as long as it was what I wanted then she was ok with it

I waited another 2 weeks to tell dad as I couldn't find the right moment

 

[Daniellemum2b]

Lol isn't that just the luck?, my dad was the first to get angry with me..Kinda made me cry a bit

 

[Imi]

My dad gave me the " Trust you" look ...

Never really said much else ... prob had thoughts of an audi tt on his mind!

xxx

 

[Vinny]

i think you should just cume out with it, i did and i am only 16