How do I break the news?

[Jennifurball]

Here is a quick story of my background. My OH and I have been together since 2007 apart from an 8 month split last year. He left me with a house and no money and left my life in tatters. I built myself back up and started to feel good again, back home with parents etc then we ended up getting back together to try again - fast forward 4 months and now I am expecting.

As you can understand, my mum really hates him for how he treated me and not only just that, she witnessed him being very verbally abusive when drunk towards me so she really doesn't approve and said when we split she dreaded the moment I came home saying I was pregnant with him so you can imagine this is hard for me.

She isn't over the moon we are back together and won't have him round, I can only see him at his parents house.

I am 29, he is 31, so old enough to know what we are doing. If I am honest, I have wanted a baby for a long time but it wasn't happening and probably for the best at the time given our relationship wasn't the best but he is trying now.

His parents know as they found a pregnancy mag and + test in his room, so now I feel guilty they know and my parents don't but at the same time, I am only just 6.5 weeks so am I best waiting as planned at 12 weeks?

If/when I do break it to her, how on earth do I do it? His dad thinks OH should be with me but like I say, she won't have anything to do with him.

 

[Mid.night]

Hi jennifurball,

Sorry to hear you're having a stressful time at the moment.

I think you're right and should probably tell your mum on your own. This will allow how to voice her concerns and you can talk through them with her. Understandably she will be worried for you but if you reassure her that your relationship is better at the moment and you will always put you and the baby's safety first somif you feel he becomes abusive again you will seek help.

As for when to tell her that's down to you, but if you think the news could leak back to her through someone else I'd tell her sooner rather than later. Or maybe if you feel really stressed about it you should tell her? Stress isn't good for you or bubba so try and stay calm.

Hope this situation improves x

 

[Jennifurball]

Thank you.

The only people who know are on OH's side/at his work and there is no way it could get back to my parents.

I was thinking of showing her my scan (if it goes well) when I go private at 8 weeks. I feel awful her not knowing. She is madly in love with my sister's little boy, and it would be nice for him to have a little cousin to look after. I am sure she will be ok when she calms down if I remind her at the end of the day, it is my baby and her grandchild. It is just that initial bit of how do I say it etc.