How do I cope with not conceiving again?

[LoisC]

Not getting pregnant is making me so sad. Me and my husband are 36-we have been TTC for 15 months with no luck. 3 months ago I visited my GP , she checked my ovaries and told me I was fine. She gave me some recommendations and asked me to be back in 3 months if nothing works. Well, I’m about to call to book an appointment.

Honestly getting my period each month is depressing me... I try so hard to stay positive and not to stress but have found myself here anyways. What can I do? What should I think?

The fact that my husband seems relax and not worried at all doesn’t help….somehow it makes me feel resentful. Honestly I don’t know why I feel angry at him. He had been supportive and keep telling me not to stress, but his words instead of cheering me up makes me feel like I’m in my own.

I want another baby so badly that it crushes me every time I see a baby or someone expecting. My BF got pregnant by accident (happy accident) when she told me instead of feeling happy for her I felt really jealous. Gosh, I DON'T want to be that person that can't be happy for people at the happiest time of their lives. I feel lonely and I don’t know how to deal with this.

 

[MrsSB22]

Awh bless you. Sorry you're struggling. Ttc can be so hard and lonely.

You're allowed to not be mega excited when others are expecting because even though you're happy for them you have your own struggle too and can't help how you feel.

I hope you get some help at your appointment. Good luck! Xx

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

I'm sorry you are struggling. I have been trying for 9 months with only a miscarriage to show for it. I have no children...we are TTC#1.

What helps me is to live as though I will never be a mother. I know it sounds weird, but the days when I accept my current situation are the days I am most happy. I try to focus on loving my life as it is...I go out with friends, I plan vacations, I relax on weekends with hot tea and a book, I sleep in.

Perhaps you can start by just enjoying time with your child and your husband? How good did you feel when you first became a mother? Maybe just focus on trying to get that feeling back...I guess what I'm trying to say is, we don't have control and we might as well enjoy the journey as much as possible. For me, I don't want to spend time being sad when in the end I might never be a mother....I'd rather just enjoy the life I've got, and if get to be a mom someday, then at least I enjoyed getting there. Sounds hokey but that's all I've got to offer. Best of luck to you, I hope you find peace and happiness!

 

[MJsBabyShaw]

PS -I still feel crushed when my coworker announces she's pregnant with #4, and all the ladies at work talk about their babies together (there were 5 of them pregnant at the same time recently). I have days where I cry because I think about living a life without children. So don't beat yourself up when you have a bad day. When I get AF I eat a pint of ice cream without any guilt. Then I do my best to move on...and try again for my rainbow.

 

[lisap2008]

My husband and I have been TTC my 5th, his first for 6 years now and what helps me is I focus on my kids I have already been blessed with and we really do have a house full of love. one more for us would be a blessing but if it does not happen we still feel blessed to have so much. the past few years I focused more on getting healthy and we took family vacations , brought home a new dog, did lots of home improvements, these things helped take my mind off the stress of TTC.