How do I politely uninvite her self invited kids

[OnErth&InHvn]

I dont assume kids are invited to a shower. I think its rude to bring them.

 

[DobbyForever]

I just wish she would have asked. But meh. Dead horse ya know?

I'm just gonna keep thinking about my cake.

 

[StillPraying]

Cake wins

 

[DobbyForever]

Right?! Cake makes everything better. Especially since my whole life my cake was always chocolate (even if it's my birthday) because I'm in the only one in my family who likes vanilla. But since it is three tiers, I get two tiers of vanilla and one chocolate hehe.

 

[mara16jade]

Maybe it's a CA thing. Lol I would always ask if kids are invited, and understand that some parties are adults only. For my Sprinkle party coming up, I'm specifically telling people that it's kid friendly and I'd love to see my 2 year old have fun playing with their kids. I know my friends would automatically wonder if kids are ok, so I'm putting it out there that, yes, bring them.

Be prepared. Maybe buy some easy baby proofing items for cabinets or doors (you'll need them eventually anyways). Bubbles makes kids happy and keep them amused. I will say that you may not want a 2 year old coloring unattended. They will most likely draw on the walls or furniture (and floor). Balloons that you blow up, so no helium, and no string are a big hit for young kids. They love to kick and hit them (and it's pretty harmless). And as a rule of thumb, no small toys smaller than a golf ball. If you have a spare tv, it wouldn't hurt to set it up and ask the mom if he has a favorite show or movie.

I wouldn't be ashamed at all to tell your cousin to take the 2 y.o. outside if he's misbehaving while you do a game or something that requires attention on you or someone talking. Two year olds are a handful at times, and loud. But it's pretty normal. Some kids are more bratty or spoiled than others which make it more stressful.

Hope you have a great party.

 

[Orglethorp]

I just had a cousin in law bring a toddler to my bridal shower. I get it. I didn't think anyone would bring kids, but I guess when my mother in law planned the parter and made invitations, she didn't specify. The cousin, her mother, and her sister were all at a table to themselves with the little one, and didn't interact with me until the end of the evening when people were leaving.

 

[Googiepie]

Do I think she should have just assumed that she can bring her kids? No do I think it's that big of a deal? No. Put yourself in her situation, it's completely normal for small children to have anxiety and cry when they can't see mom. Yours might be just like that. Its clear that this all stems from you not liking your cousin. You're stressing over nothing. They might keep busy with cartoons since he's an "iPad baby", lol. Don't judge before you have your own. With that said, enjoy your day. You're overthinking it, don't let that stress you out. Like others said, get him some cheap activities/toys and he'll be busy.

 

[DobbyForever]

I can judge her. You don't know her. You can't defend her. Him being an iPad baby is the least of her offenses as a mother and human being. SO works in tech and I teach, we don't believe in allowing kids on screens under two. All the research is against it. I've babysat for years and helped raise my twin brothers, no tvs or screens involved under two there either. I get sleep deprivation messes with people. She refuses to work so she stays at home. He's on that phone every minute he is awake. When his dad gets home, he watches his dad play video games all day. The funny thing being of all my cousins I think she is the best mom.

I don't like her. Even if I did like her, I'd be annoyed if she assumed. My coworker did the polite thing: asked first. And it does make a huge difference that his 7 year old behaves better than my cousin's mom.

I want a stress free day. Both for my anxiety and for my mom who has poured her heart and soul into this party. She's not going to watch her kid, which means I have to or find someone who will. Which is not my job especially at my baby shower.

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Hopefully you're just overthinking it and he'll be entertained. Dollar stores have stickers too btw! My 2 year old is VERY sticker motivated.

I vote if mom doesn't watch her kid, give him extra ice cream before sending him home. That being said, I hate how much tv time my 2 year old gets, so no judgement here - I usually don't have help when DH is away at work and I'm in my last quarter of school full of projects and research papers. The only time school work gets done is if she's watching a movie.

 

[CRWx]

I would just uninvite them all I'm not sure why she's invited in the first place, granted I've only skimread the thread so maybe I've missed something but it doesn't sound like you like her or her kids being present, so why invite her in the first place?

 

[DobbyForever]

I don't judge other moms. I just judge the crap out of my cousins. They are a drain on society and my patience. But still family.

I hope the dollar tree stuff does the trick. Especially now that SO's judgemental, racist mom might come. Last thing I need is drama.

I'm probably stressing over nothing but my anxiety disorder has to crop up somewhere =\

 

[xxmyheartxx]

Showers aren't really that big over in England, I've probably being to 2/3 in the past 5 years, and they are definitely not done on the same scale, i have to agree with crw, why are they invited if you don't want them there? Especially if you feel that they will ruin it?

 

[margeandmom]

No comment on the cousin issue, it sounds like you know best on how to handle it.

But in general, you may want to lower your expectations a bit for the shower. Things can, and will, go wrong (they do at every event) but that's part of the fun.

I am sure that regardless of you cousin, your mom will have a blast because her daughter is having a baby!

 

[DobbyForever]

Ty ladies. I had very low expectations but I spent the last few weekends planning with my mom. She's really going through a lot of trouble decorating and doing things I never thought I would have. Plus I get to see a bunch of friends I rarely get to see since I moved across the bay.

As for my cousin... she's family. I don't believe in duty/obligation/unconditional love (in case that wasn't super obvious lol) but my mom does though. Idk why. Bleeding heart. Love her.

 

[laila 44]

I have 3 kids aged 5,3 and 1 and I have neve brought any of them to a bridal or baby shower. For me, it largely depends on the age of the children but there's no way I'd bring a 2 year old let alone a 5 month old. I also like to enjoy a nice kid free afternoon with the ladies at these events but that's me. That being said, you can't really say much about it now though. The dollar store idea is a great one! Just set up a little kiddie table for him. For the record you aren't "weird" for not wanting a toddler at your baby shower-- I get it

 

[spunky84]

Kids have generally gone to baby showers that I've been to, but usually not a lot (like my sils will usually only take theirs if their husbands are working). I don't as it's never been an issue to have dh watch the kids (it's nice to get out without them every so often).

Wedding showers are hit and miss. I think it just really depends on the person. It's usually on the invite if no kids are allowed. If it doesn't say and it's questionable, we ask (but usually we know the person well enough to know if it's ok or not).

In the event that i/we do take the kids (though it's been awhile), if they start getting too restless / bored / whiney / crying, we step out, try to calm them. If that doesn't work, we head out (but that never really happened until we spent sufficient time). That's us, though.

Hopefully the dollar store stuff helps. I'm sorry you're put in the position to have your cousin there. Your history with her sounds awful. I dealt hope tomorrow turns out nice for you

 

[DobbyForever]

Well now I'm on to SO's mom is coming and my cousin's mom is a low class headcase. And she gets my mom to act stupid, too. And SO's parents already hate me/this is the first they are meeting my family. Ugvocoxyxtcyofifoycycyo

Cyicycylcyo

 

[CRWx]

Honestly, you need to stop it all. If your mum cares about you and baby she won't mind people being uninvited, there needs to be a point at which you stop it.

It's going to happen if you don't say anything to anyone. I know if I was having a baby shower and people were coming that I didn't like I'd step in and say 'listen, these aren't nice people and being as it's my shower, I don't want them there'.

 

[DobbyForever]

Well I don't have those kinds of cahones. It's not that they aren't nice. My cousin is just two faced and you can't trust her. My auntie acts like a drunk person 24/7 (she doesn't drink just complete lack of filter). Any other day, I really don't mind being around them.

But it's Shower day and I can't wait to see my cake! Everyone and everything can just bugger off cuz cake, cake, I'm gonna get cake! I don't even have the urge to eat cake. I just want cake.

 

[Symphony7]

I don't know, my shower went by in such a blur I didn't even notice who was as there. I understand you don't like these people but I think you probably won't notice much of what's going on once you're there. It really is a very quick party.