How do I stop myself becoming bitter?

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Belle Shine, Oct 6, 2013.

  1. Belle Shine

    Belle Shine Well-Known Member

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    I'm feeling like there is this whole world that I can't get into. Thin 'new baby club' where all the happy people are and where I am completely invisible as my DD is too old to be considered part of the club anymore.

    When I had DD I was in a terrible relationship and feel that the joys of the pregnancy and first 18months of her life were taken from me by my ex. But now I am with a lovely man who wants another child even more than I do and I just long for the chance to enjoy giving DD a sibling.. Something she has been asking for pretty much ever since she could talk! And I just seem unable to do it. I'm Struggling to look at anything related to babies and families because I am feeling so bitter. How do I get out of this mindset and get back to focusing on what amazing things I do have in the here and now..? Xx
     
  2. Destiny08

    Destiny08 Well-Known Member

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    i had a horrible experience with DD. my DH wasnt what caused the issues, but others around us. i ended up with severe depression, giving birth in an unfamiliar place without DH in a hospital where they were understaffed, poorly trained, dirty...and didnt speak my language. i almost died twice as did my DD and for the first 3 months of DDs life DH couldnt be there. then when she was 6 months old I was diagnosed with my depression and when DD turned one, DH was diagnosed with it too.

    i just think of the strength we gained from our experiences. we're so strong as a family. we've been through so much and DD kept us going. she still does every day. we wouldnt have that strength, that l...connection..the unshakeable loyalty we do as a family, if we hadnt gone through everything we have.

    just think of the strength your DD gives you. think of how close your experiences made you. i assume there were points where emotionally you felt like you needed her as much as she needed you? (i definitely did) and DD kept you going? focus on that. the strength that has given you, the closeness you have with DD, the connection :) you may not be able to take much 'joy' from your experience with that pregnancy or birth etc, but you can take strength. thats what I do :) i take strength from my first experience, and not your typically expected 'joy' (though dont get me wrong, dd is the best thing to ever happen to me. it was simply a dark time) but ill get the joy without the strength from the next one.

    its not easy, but all i think is how amazing it will be to have new experiences with another baby. each of my children will be different, and each experience will teach me something new :)
     

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