How do i tell my husband!?

[Mellybelle]

I didnt think id ever be posting here again.
I just got a BFP yesterday. This is a shock and very unplanned. Hubby and i were just discussing contraception this week and we had decided we were done. He spoke about getting 'the snip' a couple of months ago, but I said no. While I agreed we were done, i still wasnt ready for a decision so permanent.

Anyway,,fast forward to yesterday and i realised AF should have shown up. Sooo, i peed on a stick and there was that second line peeking back at me.

Im scared to tell my husband. He isnt violent or anything like that. I'm scared he wont be happy. I really want to be happy about being pregnant but its easier when the other person involved is happy too.

So i need ideas. A poem? A quote? Somethings i can give him to read then maybe he can unwrap the test? I need something creative. Something that says this wasnt planned but we can still be happy.

Help me out ladies!

 

[mummy2_1]

Wanted to say Congrats. I don't have any suggestions. hope u find a great fun way of telling ur oh.

 

[reeve]

How about hiding the test in a box of chocolates. .. life is much like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get ;-)

 

[reeve]

P.s congratulations xx

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Congrats! I like the chocolate idea... that's a good one! I personally just told my husband outright. He wasn't too excited about it either, not nearly as much as I was anyway, but then again he doesn't get excited about much. While I gave birth to my first two, I was all freaking out and he was this air of calm like "It's ok, honey. Just push." If only he knew how I was feeling LOL! It's in their DNA after all not to show emotions, right?

 

[BethMaassen]

First of all, Congrats! Second of all, I love the chocolate idea.
My husband wasn't as enthusiastic as he was with our first baby. But because of some medical reasons, it was already on the table that I thought I could be.
Anyway, I spent hours and days even planning ways to announce it to him. I ended up just shoving the test in his face and giggling like an idiot. Ours was also unplanned, but I suspected it from the moment we conceived, then the killer heartburn from hell set in, and I was convinced.

Anywho, I came up with these:

- Putting the positive inside a box (that it would fit in comfortably) and wrap it and leave it on his computer desk for him to find.
- Buying him a "congratulations" card at the store. then scribbling some "You are going to be a daddy (again)" in it something cute.
- Sending him a link to a onesie for our daughter saying "I'm going to be a big sister" without telling him what the link is for of course.
- Sending him a link to a tee shirt that says "I am going to be a daddy again" and as sending it to him, asking him what he thought of this cool tee I found.
- And then, my personal favorite, a simple one Leave a cute note with the positive test laying where he can find it. I am going to attach a sweet poem I found you might like.

 

[squirrel.]

Hi there,

What a tough situation to be in We experienced an unplanned pregnancy with our son. We had leased out our flat and were two weeks away from embarking on a two-year-trip travelling around NZ and settling there for a while when I felt funny and decided to take a test. It rocked our worlds and at first neither of us were happy. As soon as I saw our wiggling little guy on the 12-week-scan my fears and sadness washed away, but for my husband they lasted till he was born. It was tough, as like you I wanted him to be happy with me. It was too much to ask though and I had to see his point of view and understand that after we'd lost our life-long dream, it was going to be hard for him.

If I'm being honest I wouldn't try to find a cute way to tell him or hope for him to be happy straight away. I'm sure he will be eventually, but it will be very hard for him if he was certain he didn't want anymore. This will be hard for you in turn, but I would try to take things slow and slowly let him warm to the idea. I think using a cute creative way to tell him might make him feel pressured to react in a certain way. If it were me I would sit him down as soon as possible and explain it straight and allow him to react in the way he needs to. Hope I don't offend in saying this!! That is not my intention! It's just what I would do.

I really hope that he reacts well and that he can be there for you in this time that will be difficult for both of you. But if he doesn't react happily and finds this hard, then I urge you to be patient with him and not expect too much too soon if he's anything like my husband, it will take him time to get round to idea.

And congrats! An unplanned baby has a way of making the world just a little bit more magical than you thought it would be.

x

 

[lewood88]

I totaly agree with squirrel with this one no point in trying to sugar coat it hun, when i fell pregant with my angel baby 3 months after dd was born i cried and cried i told OH straight away and ill be honest he was gutted took him a few days to talk about it but i was straight with him and told him, sadly we lost the baby and it gutted him because he came round to the idea.

At the end of the day hun he will be abit offish because its not what you have planned but give him time and he will come round to it just tell him straight.

Congrats thought and good luck xxx

 

[missmayhem]

ohhhhhhh melly, i remember you from before. big hugs hun.



hope he takes the news well, he may even surprise you!

 

[charlie_lael]

Congrats hun. Our pregnancy wasnt planned eitherand neither of us were happy about it. Hubby blamed me at first, but after getting over the initial shock we're starting to handle it a little better. We're not excited yet, but we're not upset either. When you tell him just give him a few days/weeks, he'll come around.

I wasn't very tactful about how I told hubby. Just showed him the test. :/

 

[Mellybelle]

Sooo... i told him. I got up early to write him this note....

Sometimes things happen and it makes us think we've dropped the ball. Sometimes we do drop the ball. But in times like this, all we can do is breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.
Remember that sometimes, the best things in life make no sense.
It appears that just a few weeks ago, we dropped the ball. And something happened. . . Sometimes the best moments happen when they are unplanned.

And then i gave him a giftbox, with the test inside.

His reaction... "Oh. Oh fuck..." with a slight smile.

We chatted about how this will change our future plans (we are planning to move just after Christmas) and how tough it will be with an extra child. But all in all it went pretty well.
It will be a few days (or weeks or months) before he is actually excited about it. But for now hes accepting it. He didn't bring up the "a" word, which is also something i was afraid of.

Now ive just got to hope this little one sticks. Ive had some scary pink spotting.

 

[lewood88]

Awwwww hun so glad it went well xxx

 

[mummy2_1]

What a relief. I think that was a great way to tell him. Congrats t u both

 

[missmayhem]

accepting is great progress!! it's a lot better than ignoring it or flipping his lids

 

[charlie_lael]

He did a lot better than my hubby! Haha. Congrats!

 

[Mellybelle]

Thanks for your kind words everyone. However, this morning i have woken to bleeding. It tapered back off to spotting but seems to have started up again this afternoon. I tested again and the test is lighter than friday.

Hubby told me that by last night he had started to get excited about another baby on the way. So was i.

 

[PocoHR]

I'm so sorry you've had some bleeding, but don't trust the color of the test! So many things can affect it. Will you get to see your doctor soon? I hope everything will go well and that you have a lovely, sticky bean in there! xx