How do I tell the midwife...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by sam_b_88, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. sam_b_88

    sam_b_88 Well-Known Member

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    I really really don't want to breastfeed. I've got nothing against anyone who does it's just really not for me for several reasons.

    Every medical person I've spoken to keeps going on about the benefits of breastfeeding and giving my leaflets etc and I feel like everywhere I look, I see posters promoting breastfeeding.

    Have any of you told your midwife that you have no intentions of breastfeeding? If so what was their reaction?

    Thank you :)

    Sam
     
  2. x Michelle x

    x Michelle x loves her babies

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    I haven't but i did tell my rather hippy midwife that i was having another section and i think as i was firm and knowledgeable on the subject she didn't try and pressure me.
    Its your body, your baby hun and you just tell her straight.
    Also, make sure its in your birthplan about your feeding intentions as i saw some midwives practically bully a woman into BF and refused to give her formula.
    Plenty of woman choose to FF, i only managed a week but i'm going to try BF this time around.
    I would say to keep an open mind tho - sooooo many things change over time.
    i'm not trying to change your mind tho not at all :)
     
  3. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    your body your baby your choice , jsut tell her how it is, anyways when uv had the baby it prob be a different mw :)
     
  4. SnowWhite90

    SnowWhite90 Well-Known Member

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    I was suprised to see how much they push breastfeeding on women on ante natal visits!!

    I plan to breastfeed for the first few months, so this didnt bother me, But its very unfair to put so much pressure on women!!

    Your body, your baby, do whats right for YOU huni, You should'nt give a toss about what she thinks xxx
     
  5. DollPosse

    DollPosse Well-Known Member

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    I never really did bf. I did pump for 3 months but then switched to formula. My OB asked about this at my 14 week appointment and I said I didn't know. I said it because I didn't want to get into an argument about bfing at that time. I know some medical professionals will treat you like you are either completely stupid or truly uncaring if you say you don't want to breastfeed. I had both these reactions after I gave birth to my daughter.

    You could just say you are well aware of the benefits of bfing but you have are choosing not to. If you are bothered by it more you can always just say you have already made up your mind with this decision and repeat that that until they back off. It is a very personal decision, and I really dislike how it seems that everyone is under the belief that they should make it for you. I you don't want to it is up to you.
     
  6. immie

    immie Well-Known Member

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    You're going to have a lot of fun sterilising/heating bottles all through the night, that's all i can say. Not that formula feeding is wrong but it's definitely for the more organised pro-active women and i know i couldn't do it at all hours of the night. Midwives aren't allowed to judge anyway so you shouldn't have a problem telling her xxx
     
  7. pixydust

    pixydust Married mama of two :D

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    I wouldnt bother telling her, just listen to what she has to say then go on to do as you like
     
  8. sunshineray7

    sunshineray7 Mummy of 2 little men

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    Personally I will be breastfeeding again this time but for me its different because its something I knew I wanted to do before I was even pregnant. The most important thing to remember is that this is your baby and your choice so if you do not want to do it, whatever the reason, then just don't. If you express your wishes to your midwife and she reacts negatively then in my opinion she is not being professional. However, be prepared for her to point out the benefits of breastfeeding and probably gentle pushing to get you to atleast try it.
     
  9. Cheshirista

    Cheshirista Well-Known Member

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    I am going to breastfeed, but I didn't see that as an automatic choice, and I know from certain clients I've worked with in the past that it's a really emotive issue, where everyone thinks eyre right and that's that. As a result of that, I don't think we're always given the facts and the benefits of breastfeeding are overplayed.

    People, especially quasi-medical professionals, can be very militant about it and I object to this approach. But why do you need to say anything at all? Not that you shouldn't, but if it's easier, why not just not raise the subject?
     
  10. Onemoretime5

    Onemoretime5 Mother of 6 and loving it

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    I will not be breastfeeding I have not breastfed nor will I be made to feel guitly for it! Just tell her and if she starts just say I have made my decision and no longer wish to discuss it
     
  11. Onemoretime5

    Onemoretime5 Mother of 6 and loving it

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    its not that much harder. You dont have to sterilize every time and if you use room temp water there is no heating so its pretty much pour and go. I have done it for 4 very healthy kids
     
  12. x Michelle x

    x Michelle x loves her babies

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    Its not that bad! we pre-make bottles, would leave water in the kettle and boil it before bed so it really only took a few mins to stick it in the jug to warm it up then feed LO.
    My OH did her 11pm feed, i'd do the 3am feed then that was her til 6 or 7 which when you have a baby is getting up time anyway!
    There are also cartons you can use, just take a sterilised empty bottle up to bed and pour the carton in to feed LO. These are stored at room temp and only need to be refrigerated once opened.
     
  13. sam_b_88

    sam_b_88 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks everyone - I was planning on avoiding the subject for as long as possible as I don't want to get into a debate with the midwife. The thing I'm most worried about is that I'm quite young and my friend had a baby recently and she was forced to try to breastfeed and her daughter wouldn't take to it and then the hospital staff made her feel like a complete failure and she phoned me in tears.

    I just don't want to experience anything like that :s Even though I'm young, I do have my own mind and I don't want to be talked down to or looked down upon - I certainly don't look down on people who breastfeed! If anything I admire them for doing something that I can't :)

    xxx
     
  14. x Michelle x

    x Michelle x loves her babies

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    i would look into taking mini bottle of ready made formula with you - most hospitals give them free but i do know that unless medically necessary some hospitals will no longer provide formula - perhaps its worth looking into and asking your local hospital about this so you can be prepared. Also, if the MWs aren't listening to you, you can just feed your baby yourself.

    this kind of thing...
    https://www.mothercare.com/Cow-Gate...&pf_rd_i=0&pf_rd_p=231490887&pf_rd_s=center-7
     
  15. misshopefull

    misshopefull Well-Known Member

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    With ds I was the only person in my antenatal class who didn't say they were breastfeeding. I just said I wasn't sure.

    This time my midwife asked me if I ws planning on bfeeding at my appointment when I was 5 weeks pregnant! She also asked me if I was trying for a natural birth this time as I had an emergency c-section last time.

    I want an elective c-section and I'm not sure I really want to try breastfeeding either but I still have to tell my midwife :dohh: I'm not looking forward to that conversation :nope:

    Maybe just say to your midwife that you will see how you feel when the baby is born x
     
  16. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    I met with my MW at 10wks and told her that I wasn't interested in breast-feeding, she just ticked off that she had asked me and I've heard nothing since -- just be firm, it is your body, your baby and your decision.

    In my case, I can't anyway as have to take thyroid medication , which makes any 'discussion' with very pro-BF mums, very short (I do appreciate that everybody has their opinion, but I was not/am not comfortable with breastfeeding)....

    best wishes
     
  17. punk_chick

    punk_chick Well-Known Member

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    Sabrinakats right....I don't plan on Bf and told my midwife at my booking in appointment, she left the leaflets but it hasn't changed my mind.
     
  18. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Wait for her to ask, tell her no, and if she asks why, tell it's the best choice for you.

    We FF from birth with Earl, and this is all we did. My HV was great and didn't question it. Neither did my community midwife. The only issue I had was when I was in labour, in the birthing pool, and the delivery midwife tried to talk us into it, but hubby stuck up for me, and that was it. When we were put on the ward, we found 3 glass bottles of SMA in our cubicle :thumbup:
     
  19. PoodleMommy

    PoodleMommy Well-Known Member

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    Just for my own knowledge, what are the reasons you or someone would choose not to breastfeed? (I've never had a living baby yet so I have no idea and am curious.)
     
  20. punk_chick

    punk_chick Well-Known Member

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    Personally even the thought of it makes me cringe and thats my reason. I know all the benefits of breastfeeding but I just could bring myself to do it x
     

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