How do you keep positive?

[pennies]

We're currently on month 6 of TTC #1, I know this isn't very long in the grand scheme of things but to me it feels like it's never going to happen.

Today was a stark bfn despite me feeling I had loads of symptoms and that this would be the month. I must admit I've had a little cry and I'm just tired of it already.

So how do you keep positive? How do you push on and tell yourself it'll happen eventually even though it seems to be one disappointment after another?

 

[wrapunzel]

I just focus on the idea that I will get a baby in my arms eventually. My man has promised me that we will keep trying and trying up through all interventions and on to adoption if that doesn't work. So, when I feel upset that it hasn't happened yet, I say "it will happen, just a matter of time"

 

[pennies]

Thanks hun, I'm finding it very hard to have that outlook just now 😔

 

[wrapunzel]

Me too nothing else for it unless you are capable of compartmentalizing and forgetting about it most of the day

 

[Oh_Clementine]

It would be great if there was a test or something that would say "ok, yep, you have 3 more cycles of TTC before you get your BFP!" that would make it so much easier to get through, but unfortunately we just never know when, or if that time will come.

How do I keep going? Well, I keep going because I cannot imagine our lives without having a child. I don't know if I will always feel like this, or if one day I will wake up and think "I am done trying". But so far, that time has not come yet.

 

[Ask4joy]

I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged, Pennies. I can completely understand as we are heading into our 13th month ttc and have only had 2 chemical pregnancies. It's been a tough year for sure. We are doing IUI this cycle and will most likely move to IVF if not pregnant after 3-4 rounds of IUI. All tests have come back normal. I have found that finding other things to put my emotional energy into has helped. We just bought a new house and got 2 kittens and that's helping a lot. Also doing things to take care of my emotional well being through this difficult process: meditating, taking baths, having a spa day, planning fun dates with DH, going for walks/hikes. I do believe we will get pregnant soon...it just may involve a lot of drugs and money...but I hope not! Hoping you get your BFP soon as well!

 

[Fluffycookie]

hey pennies, hugs to you! I find it really difficult myself. The only things that helps me is distraction, so I try to do as many non-TTC related things as possible. Going out with friends, hobbies, even just a good netflix marathon Taking my mind of it as much as possible!

 

[pennies]

Thanks ladies, I'm trying to distract myself but feel like it's all I can think about.

I feel different and I'm still symptom spotting, not out entirely until af shows but I think not knowing when that will be doesn't help either!

Currently on cd34 of what could be anything up to 49 days 😩 Last cycle was 43 days...

 

[wantingagirl]

Ive been ttc 37 cycles with 3 losses in a row

The only thing that keeps me going is the alernative (no baby) is not even an option and a very supportive husband

 

[BSN2MOM]

Hi pennies,

I guess it's just a "well, what else can you do?" kind of feeling for me. AF shows up and I'm sad, but I have no choice but to move on. It's difficult to be positive about things when you're doing literally everything in your control to time and plan. I think the hardest part is when people say "stop trying" or "it'll happen eventually" because they don't know/understand/remember the struggle & the pain. I hope you can find your happy spot and I do hope you see your BFP

 

[Jeffa]

I think it's important to remember to have fun too. If all you can think about is babys and getting pregnant, I think it will get harder to conceive. Try to relax and it will happen!

 

[Fluffycookie]

Thanks ladies, I'm trying to distract myself but feel like it's all I can think about.

I feel different and I'm still symptom spotting, not out entirely until af shows but I think not knowing when that will be doesn't help either!

Currently on cd34 of what could be anything up to 49 days 😩 Last cycle was 43 days...

I have long cycles too (normally around 40 days, last cycle was 55 days and I went crazy! ), I know just how you feel! Two things that have helped me with my long cycles are temping (to see when my ovulation was and then be able to better predict when AF is coming) and using the time to make sure we're well prepared, or as well as can be, for pregnancy and baby. Taking my vitamins/folic acid, working out regularly, making sure our finances are okay, planning maternity leave...

On good days, distraction is best, but I totally understand that distracting yourself will just not work sometimes. Instead of worrying, I try to plan positive things like what kind of things I want to do while I'm pregnant/prepare for a baby. I want to knit my future little one some baby hats for example, so I've started looking at patterns. I've also thought about how I'd set up the nursery, what kind of furniture and colour scheme I'd want... things like that. They give me something to do to pass the time when I cannot stop myself from thinking about babies - without just focusing on the "when will I finally be pregnant?" question

 

[BlueWater]

We've been TTC for a while, and we're getting married in 3 months time.
We've already got well-meaning family say 'you'll be having a little one soon!'

To keep positive, OH and I try and plan days out together, plan time with our families, and with our niece and nephew.

As much as we want a LO, sometimes things are just out of our reach. So we have to appreciate what we've got right now. And make the best of what we have.