How do you know when you are done???

[gemmybean]

Hi, so I have a 2 year old boy and a 14 week old little girl. We’ve had a rough history with struggles to get pregnant and losses. We’ve also recently brought our house which has three bedrooms.
I guess I just kinda feel done, I hated being pregnant as I have to have extra scans throughout, and the I just find the whole thing seriously stressful. And struggle to cope.
I think I would be happy to leave it at 2 but it’s such a big decision isn’t it? I’m also really fed up of pumping hormones into my body, as that is what caused the whole infertility thing in the first place. So would want something non-hormonal but long term.

 

[donnarobinson]

The copper coil doesn’t have hormones in and it lasts 5 years.
I have 3 boys I feel done but still a part of me thinks maybe one more even tho I don’t really want any more I’m finally enjoying getting a bit of me back. For once there getting older and I’m not pregnant or have a new born things finally seem to be getting easier. I really would love a girl though but Ino that’s not guaranteed I think more than likely we’re done but I don’t think the feeling of wanting one more will leave me x

 

[MindUtopia]

We always knew we only wanted 2. I'm due #2 any day now and am 37. I know I'm done after this one and he hasn't even arrived yet. Planning to get my tubes tied in the autumn time once things settle down a bit. I've had lovely smooth pregnancies and (so far) a lovely smooth natural birth. But we just never wanted 3 and I want to make sure that doesn't happen. Our cars can only comfortably fit 2 children and we have a 4 bed house, but need space for a home office, so only 2 bedrooms for children. And our first is 5, so once this one is old enough to be a bit more independent, we're ready to have a bit more adult time and to travel and have an easier life without the exhaustion of small children. So it's partly practical for us as we don't want to make the life changes to make space for a third, but also just we have always known this was the plan and are both quite happy with that. I don't think I could see myself having #3 at 40. So I think when you know you just sort of know. If you don't, just leave the option on the table until you're sure you know.

 

[JessyG]

After my daughter was born i was 100% convinced i didnt want anymore. Her dad always wanted 2 and although i never felt broody for another baby i did like the idea of having 2 children. The timing had to be right though so we waited until my OH got a more family friendly job and my DD was old enough to have some independence. I have just had my 2nd, a little boy and i am 10000000% done. Definitely no more, as i say i was never broody for another and in all honesty dont really enjoy the newborn baby bit so now i am just looking forward to the future and him getting bigger and being a play friend for my DD.

So for me, I just know i dont want anymore and thankfully my OH completely agrees. I was tempted to have my tubes to be tied during my last section but the midwives said they'd be reluctant to do it since i am only 31 which was slightly annoying.

 

[krissie328]

Before I had my daughter I was 100% sure I was done after her. But now that she is here I do have those urges to have another one. However, my DH is pretty set against it. And I honestly think my change of mind is coming from the thoughts of being done with this chapter and I'm not quite ready to accept it. I'm hoping as my pp hormones settle and we get into a routine the desire will go away again.

 

[second.time]

DH and I always agreed on two. For a while we were even strongly considering being one and done. Now we have two little boys and though I feel nostalgic and sad when I realize I'll never be pregnant again, I also accept that that part of my life is over and I was lucky it was such a lovely experience. Now I get to focus on raising my boys. Even people who have large families have to have their "last pregnancy" and "last baby" one day! And I know that a third pregnancy would be hard -- I don't want to gamble with birth injuries, with complications and serious health issues that could upend our life. (I know that these things can happen anyway of course.) And I know that with our finances, future plans, and energy/outside interests, two kids is about the limit for me and DH. We were never big-family or even medium-family people, we're content with two. So ultimately it's a pretty easy decision for us both.

My younger DS's birth was pretty great and at the time, just the excitement and intensity and wonderfulness of that pregnancy/birth/newborn phase, I kept thinking maybe I'd have another. But now he's almost seven months old and I feel totally fine with two.

 

[jessmke]

We had always thought we would only have one child, then only a few weeks after she was born I started feeling broody. By the time she was four months old I knew I definitely wanted one more, even when we were in the throws of the four month sleep regression and I felt like I was being tortured by my baby, I still wanted to have another! After my second was born I never had a single second of wanting another baby, he is 7 months old and I haven't been broody at all and I know 100% that I am done with my two. Not to mention that we wouldn't have enough bedrooms in our house, room in our car, or the finances to travel and do fun things if we had a third. Also I'm 35 and my OH is 43 so we are both feeling too old to do this again.

 

[Teri7489]

I used to get really sad at the thought of not having any more so hubby and I were at WTT. We agreed we wouldn't have any more until my sister got pregnant as she was having trouble and going through fertility treatment but now her baby is due in 13 weeks and I'm now at the stage of not wanting any more. I've given away the baby box that held the nappies/wipes/creams and so for my 2, given away lots of their baby clothes that I held on to for so long and I'm not even sad about it. Our car is big enough for 4 of us, we have a summer holiday booked this year and plan on Disney world next year which wouldn't happen with a new baby. We have got to a new stage in life that a new little one would be welcome in but it just feels right the 4 of us.

 

[catty]

For some women i honestly think they never feel done.

I have 2 close together (11 months) then decided we wanted another but just let it happen and we had her when my 2nd was 2 years 4 months. I felt absolutely done. My husband had a vasectomy 7 months ago and the relief with getting that knowing there was no more babies was great. We got a letter a few weeks ago saying the vasectomy might have failed and iv felt weird ever since imagining a 4rth. We wont. But i think knowing you can can in itself make people a tad broody

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I have 4. Definitely done now. We use fertility tracking and that's it. I don't like any interference with my cycle and the coil is non hormonal but still 'there's. Once you track cycles it's so easy to know when fertile.

I am Always broody but really content with life that won't mess it up.

Plus, teenagers are HARD

 

[laura109]

For me I know 2 is sensible for us. I've just had my second six weeks ago. Space wise a third would be an issue. My toddlers toys take up half the house and now we have a baby with equipment and soon will have toys too. It's hard enough to get out the house with two at different ages aswel. All day the washers on etc lol. Not to mention between them there's no time for me and my partner to be us as its full on all the time.

But saying the above I never say never as who knows. I know I will be sad when my son is no longer a baby and miss these days. I love the whole waiting for baby, meeting baby and preparing for baby. But pregnancy is hard isn't it. I felt dreadful for four months feeling sick and exhausted. I couldn't do that again personally with two kids needing me.

If pregnancy was easier I'd love a big family in many ways but in reality 2 is enough for me and I'm technically done xx

 

[MrsC10]

We both knew that we only wanted two. I did think about three, but when we found out we were expecting our 2nd, I just knew that this would be our final baby. LO is now 6 days old and my DH is going to call the GP to make sure there are no more (hopefully).

For us it is the right decision. Money wise and lifestyle wise, we really couldn't make three work for us xx

 

[Sealion24]

We had always planned on having 2 but after our second I just didn't feel done. I had my third 5 weeks ago and an now definitely done! Found being pregnant hard work with 2 little ones and am looking forward to them growing up together and the things we can do in the future. Not getting any younger at 35 either! This time I have given away the clothes she has grown out of and got rid of all the boys old clothes and haven't felt sad at all so 3 is the right number for us

 

[adrie]

It has been more of a logical reasoning here in terms of my age and our income. I'm 36 now and we have a son and a daughter. I had our son at 35 and that was my personal cap off. Though I did not have baby fever or feel any broodiness at any time, even before conceiving our kids.