How do you know

[bump.on.brain]

My DD is 2 years old and my absolute world, but I'm just wondering... How do you ladies know if another child is really right for you?

I have times when I feel desperately broody... Sad that the early days are over with DD, but loving all of the older bits too and would be happy to do them again... Not worried about sleepless nights, convinced I would regret it we didn't extend our family...

But as little as 24hours later I can feel the exact opposite! DH and I both work full time and I already don't see DD as much as I would like, I would hate to stretch that further. Financially we could have better things for us all, like gym memberships and holidays, if we didn't have another, and I already have days where I feel so exhausted I can barely look after myself and think having 2 to look after would be crazy!

I'm driving myself mad on this roller coaster... On the one hand I love the idea of the family set up we have now, with time for us both to pursue our careers and have some social time... But on the other hand my DD is my absolute world and I don't want to regret not having another.

How do you KNOW what is right for you?

 

[callmedan]

I think its something you and DH just have to decide for yourselves, even though it is such a hard decision
to be honest, from your post it seems like you are happy with one and it something that is working out great for you but you dont want to regret not having another, i think you just have to think either way you shouldnt regret it because if you dont have another you have your DD and all the things that you mentioned which is great but if you do have another, youll still have most of that with another child to share your love with

 

[KalonKiki]

There is no rule that says that once your child turns two that you MUST decide whether or not you want another baby. Why not give it another year or more and come back to the idea? You can decide whenever you want (providing that menopause has not occurred) when or of you want to have more children. There is nothing wrong with a large age gap or an only child if you feel that is what is right for your family.

 

[upsy daisy1]

im on the same rollercoaster!!! me and oh decided to ttc in december this year. we have been back and forth on the idea.this is the third time we have set a date as each time the date comes there is a reason for not trying. this time we are doing third time lucky and hoping we do ttc in december or maybe november. i think its natural to have worries and anxieties. my daughter is 5 in january and im still feeling this way but we feel its more of a priority to us to give her a sibling as we both grew up with alot of siblings and feel its important for her too. sometimes i feel overwhelmed as i work full time too and come home to my daughter and cleaning etc.im sooo tired lot of the time as im up for work at 5;45.
i wonder to myself how i will cope when im just coping now, but then i remind myself that it will come. when the time comes i will find a way and soon i will not remember it being any other way but two children if that makes sense. and i know the happiness and joy will over ride any worries and difficulties. i hope you come to a decision that is right for you and dont feel pressured to hurry into it.

 

[bump.on.brain]

Thank you all for your replies

It does actually really help to think of it from the perspective that I shouldn't regret it either way... and I do know that I am blessed either way.

I definitely don't want to make a concrete decision yet anyway, and don't feel pressured to, I'm just frustrating myself by going through such polar opposite emotions all the time.

Upsy Daisy - Good luck for TTC! I feel so excited for you when I think of going back to that stage... I know you're right and that you will adjust and cope wonderfully