How do you not worry?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy After A Loss' started by acetoact, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. acetoact

    acetoact Well-Known Member

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    I have two wonderful children one is 11 and one is 5. My husband and decided we wanted one more. I had two losses last year and am 5 weeks pregnant today. I have no idea how to stay calm. How do you tell yourself that things will be ok, when you just don't know? I had a horrible feeling I would lose my first, and I did. The second I didn't at first but as time went on I knew it would end also. This time I can't do anything but worry. Dr said he will do a scan between 6 and 7 weeks to put my mind at ease. But the closer I get to that the more I can't help but worry. I haven't told many people, just my husband and a few friends that will be my support if I do lose this one (my husband is deployed so I need someone.) How do you go about your day without worrying that this will end in pain too? Most of the people that I know that have had a miscarriage have only had one so they don't quite understand where I am emotionally.
     
  2. Maze

    Maze Expecting 4th, 2 Angels

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    I am exactly 5 weeks today as well and lost a baby last October. Truth is, it is hard to not worry once you know that these things can happen. I had terrible nightmares for the first few days after finding out that I am expecting again. (and wasn't really trying, but wasn't using protection either) However, today I find I am more at ease, probably in part due to my nice HCG levels (they were not good last time) but also because I made an effort this week to take my mind off things, to get out of bed and visit with friends and family. Anything to remind me that the world is still spinning.

    It is a tough road ahead, but it can be one filled with success and the gift of a new baby. The important thing is to take care of yourself, mind and body.

    You will probably feel better once you surpass the length of your last experience, that is what I hear anyway.

    Good luck, my wishes are the best for you. :hugs:
     
  3. heva510

    heva510 mum of 6 (twin angels)

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    Hi Hun it's so hard not to worry I s till worry constantly and I'm now worry about 20 wks scan in 10 days x try and take one day at a time and distract yourself easier said than done x congrats x x
     
  4. reversal

    reversal a happy family at last

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    worrying is natural I dont think we'll stop we just learn to manage it better I've had scans at 7, 9 and 11 weekd and I'm still really worried, I hope you have a healthy pregnancy :hugs:
     
  5. jcg0506

    jcg0506 Well-Known Member

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    Very good question--its so easy for people to say not to worry, but I don't know how to stop worrying either. Right now I vacillate between excitement and downight fear. Part of me doesn't want to believe it too much in case it ends again. I think the best advice is to keep yourself busy and your mind as much as possible on other things. If you're one to pray or meditate, or do centering exercises, I think that can help too. Mostly, however, I can just sympathize.
     
  6. Mellybelle

    Mellybelle Well-Known Member

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    The only reason I'm not freaking out and panicking is because I still cant quite believe its real. Over the next couple of weeks the panic and anxiety will really set in.
     
  7. Peril

    Peril Imogen Louise, my miracle

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    I am now 33 weeks pregnant after 3 losses. I was a mess with worry and anxiety until after the 20 week scan. Then had a few weeks of being calm. Now I am nearing the end I am getting anxious and panicky again. It's perfectly natural. Speak to your carers. Mine have been great and very supportive and have seen me more frequently than normal to try and keep my anxiety at a minimum.

    Very good luck and big hugs :hug:
     
  8. Chrismay

    Chrismay New Member

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    I guess it is impossible not to worry once you know things can go wrong. Just keep in mind that there are lots of women who lose a baby and then have a perfectly normal prenancy. I personally know five women who have gne through this experience, and I am another one.

    I had a misscarriage with ten weeks and then got pregnant with twins. I thought there was no way this new pregancy could work out, especially when I had bleedings again - but it did! Today my twins are four years old.

    Just take it easy and listen to your body. When you feel like you need some rest, you probably need it, so take a nap or lay down on the sofa. Get help with chores, I refused to carry heavy groceries when I was pregnant with my twins, because it made me cramp. During my first pregancy I did everything - went to work til my water broke (literally at work...), did household chores, even helped my mother in law doing her house. I was lucky, my daughter was fine, but now I think I overdid it. It is not about being selfish, you do it for your baby!

    All the best to you and your baby!
     
  9. acetoact

    acetoact Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your responses. I am trying to stay busy so I just don't think about it as much. Its hard thats for sure!
     

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