How do you....

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by navarababe, Oct 17, 2008.

  1. navarababe

    navarababe Mummy To Brooke :-)

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    Get over somebody when you were with him for 4years, you are carrying there child, only been split for a month, and you know hes lying to you and fu**ing someone else. I know this has nothing to do with babys etc, but i just feel as if ive got no body ele to talk to. He has been so nasty to me then hes so nice, its playing with my head, but no matter how hard i try and say to myself im letting go, i just cant. But then i cant lie in my bed at night knowing hes touching someone else. Maybe its just my mind playing games and i know me and him will NEVER work but its so god damn hard to let him go even tho what hes like with me :sad2::sad2::sad2::sad2:
     
  2. mer01

    mer01 Waiting for brain scan

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    awwww hun :hugs:


    xxxx
     
  3. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    oh no thats awful :( it must be tearing you apart. i wouldnt be able to have him near me to be honest if he had been near anyone else. I know you where on a break but still would freak me out. How do you know he is lying? and how are things that you are back toogether?
     
  4. You can talk about anything on here and get support. It sounds really tough and prob doesnt help that your hormones are all over the place with bubs. I cant think of anything to say to help your pain but I can offer some:hug:
     
  5. navarababe

    navarababe Mummy To Brooke :-)

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    Well thats the thing we arnt together, and yes hes stated we'll never be back together because of my unborn child. He said he doesnt want it or nothing to do with it. God i sound so stupid and i know i should tell him to F off straight away but its so hard. He always says to me at 9pm that hes going into his mums, his ex gf type thing stays in the same town as his mum...Now last night i text him, got no reply. Then phoned him twice, got no answer. Eventually by 11.50pm he phoned me saying he was just on way home he was watching a film last night on channel 5 and it was great. Then...He said tonight at 9pm he was going into his mums, i did text him about half 10ish asking if he was still at his mums, he replied with "yes be home soon" It is now 11.36 and still nothing. Maybe im being stupid and should prob leave him alone but why is it so hard, i sit and cry everynight and it isnt fair...
    Im so sorry everybody for rambling on, please forgive me. :cry::cry:
     
  6. Beltane

    Beltane Mother of 3 Boys!

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    I have SO been there. I tortured myself for years over someone that had me wrapped around their finger. Staying wth someone who mistreats you only sends them a clear message that you will tolerate such behavior. I hope it works out for you.

    No boy is worth crying over. And the one who is won't make you cry.

    :hugs:
     
  7. navarababe

    navarababe Mummy To Brooke :-)

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    I just wish i could move on and totally let go, but its like a habbit, actually like Cigerettes, something thats so hard to let go.UPDATE....He has just came home, spoke to me on msn and went in a mood saying i do this every night, is that a guilty consuence or what????:cry::cry::cry:
     
  8. Beltane

    Beltane Mother of 3 Boys!

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    Hang in there. =/
     
  9. pennysbored

    pennysbored Well-Known Member

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    My god, you poor thing :hugs:
    I know what its like to know you should be over someone who treats you poorly. But I never ever had to deal with it pregnant. What you need is distance from him. Hell, I had to move 1200 Km to get over my ex and the pit of despair I had let myself fall into. But really, space is the best thing you could get to clear your head. Still living together must be a nightmare.
    He's a jerk, and you don't need him.
    And if the LO is a part of the reason that its over, well, that makes him an irresponsible asshole.
    I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
     
  10. navarababe

    navarababe Mummy To Brooke :-)

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    I dont live with him which is a good thing, but i cant cope like this anymore i really cant. He plays hot and cold, came on msn moaning cause i texted him asking if he was still at his mums, If he was there then what diff does it make whether i text him or not, but if hes with this other person he would be annoyed that she might of seen it. Maybe my mind is playing tricks with me but doubt it, i cant sit here and cry all the time, Its not good for me, but i dont see no bright light at end of the tunnel to show i can get through this. xx
     
  11. JeffsWife07

    JeffsWife07 Well-Known Member

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    :awww: hun. I'm sorry you are going through this. I have been there. Trust me, it's not worth the trouble. If you can't trust the guy you don't need him. There is someone out there that will treat you the way you should be treated (loved) and you have to let go of this one to find the true love. No matter what happens you love your baby, if he doesn't want anything to do with the baby it's his loss. Don't worry so much the stress is not good for you and the baby. Take care and I wish I could give you a big hug. :hug:
     
  12. Janisdkh

    Janisdkh Well-Known Member

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    :'( Sweety you deserve way better. No man is worth being with if they treat you that way. You gotta stop texting him. If you were over a month ago then there is no point in you acting like his gf still. I know it is so hard and I am just imagining it with my hubby"what if".. And I can't bare it. I would freak :'( You are stronger then you think sweety. Just try and quit "him" This isnt good for you right now. WHo knows some real man will come around and swoop you off youre feet. Or maybe he will change. That is though if you stop bothering with him. I wouldn't stick around anyways considering the way he does treat you and how unhealthy you feel about him. Trust needs to be there. I feel so bad for you. I wish I could hug you. You poor woman. Just think..... In April you will be with the best person in the entire world. Youre baby
     
  13. nkbapbt

    nkbapbt Double Preemie Momma

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    I have to agree hun...you need to stop texting him. Honestly? Stop talking to him altogether, unless its directly regarding the baby..and frankly maybe don't tell him anything for a bit. I have been there and while I was not pregnant. I wish someone had told me that the second I let him go and he knew it was over? Was the second he wanted me back. He wasn't an asshole like this guy sounds like..but I was doing what you are..texting him...chatting with him on msn...

    I mean why would he need to come back when I was still acting like his gf? He was getting ALL the BAD but none of the GOOD.

    If you want him back...then do yourself a favor..move on even if you are pretending, it will make him think "Omg she doesn't need me! What have I done?!"

    If he doesn't want anything to do with his baby, then don't tell him anything. I bet he will change his tune and if he doesn't then neither of you needed him to begin with.

    I get how hard it is, but you are also making it harder by hanging on. Let him go for both of your sakes.

    You never know what the future can bring..I married my highschool sweetheart..12 years later...7 of those years we spent apart! I never thought we would get back together..and now we are. And everything is perfect.

    And if you dont work out with this man, there is another man who will treat you and your baby with love and respect.
     
  14. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    Just read the updates in the thread there. If he wants nothing to do with his unborn child and you have tried then let him go. easier said that done and I bet hormones dont help in this situation at all. I know its scary being alone, being alone and pregnant I dont know about but its got to be really hard!

    Usually men that say they want nothing to do with baby come crawling back after the baby is born and thats not right in my eyes, they have to care from the start. They relise the errors of their ways and cause a stink to get back in the chlds life. I do wish they would wise up and see that now and not be so selfish.

    As for him being push and pull thats not fair! looks like he knows he has you wrapped around his finger. If he really loved you and i dont want to hurt you he wouldnt do this. fair enough some are immature and grow up fast when they do act like dicks but some dont. And by the sounds of him if he is lying and slagging about he isnt worth it.

    Your baby dont need a dad like that and needs someone that cares which is great that that is you. cut him off, dont text him back or talk to him on msn. I garentee though when you dont he will be running back to you as he wont like you not relying on him. Show him you dont need him and give him that last chance to be a dad, cant say you didnt try then. Its to much this to put up with when your pregnant and especially when your heads all over the place with hormones.

    does his family know your pregnant?
     
  15. navarababe

    navarababe Mummy To Brooke :-)

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    No his family dont know i dont think. He somehow doesnt feel the need to tell anyone. I dunno what to say about anything anymore,its kinda hard to think of anything just now. It seems that we are never going to work in the furture so why bother trying i suppose. Just need to be strong. Thank you all for your surport, im very greatful xxx
     
  16. danni2609

    danni2609 Guest

    I agree u deserve so much better! He sounds an arse id want nothing to do with him! You wont ever be able to trust him again you will always worry bout wot hes up too
     
  17. JeffsWife07

    JeffsWife07 Well-Known Member

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    Sweetheart, one thing I have always said is.....if you don't have trust you don't have anything. You will be so much better off without him. :hugs:

    Have you met his family? If so maybe you could talk to his mom to let her know you are pregnant. This is not going to bring him running back to you but his mom has the right to know she is going to be a grandmother.

    I wish you the best. :hug:
     
  18. leeanne

    leeanne Mom of 3 and Stepmom of 2

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    Getting over a relationship does take time and even then, you never forget.

    However, I will say one thing. Once you hold your baby in your arms you will indeed know what true, unconditional love is.

    :hug:
     
  19. Fossey

    Fossey Mummy to Larissa

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    Awww It is so sad letting go, it will get easier hun not quite yet but it will. :hug:
     
  20. AprilMum2009

    AprilMum2009 Well-Known Member

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    I kindov know how you feel,
    Me and my bf broke up about a month ago:(
    I feel soo lonely,and emotional and it makes it worse when you know you are carrying his baby and not knowing if he really gives a fluff!
    I feel like im going through this alone, and wish i had some one to share this special time with.

    Well anyways, ya never know whats going to happen in the future. So keep your chin up! And dont bottle things up cos it only makes things worse!
    XxXxX
     

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