I am 12 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I have moderately serious chronic medical issues that have me hospitalized 1-2 times per year and closely monitored by several specialists. I do need help with my kids when I am more acutely ill, but for the most part you would not know there is something wrong with me. My family does not help me on any consistent or reliable basis. I also have had early issues (with bleeding, a cyst on the baby's brain, low HCG levels, etc.) these have mostly resolved. I did not want to tell my family until I could handle their judgment and I knew that this was really going to happen. This is a failed contraception pregnancy. It should not actually affect them because they are not involved in our daily lives, but for whatever reason their judgment will affect me. I also want to tell my kids 1st and I did not want them to know so early b/c of miscarriage and how long it takes to incubate a new life -- a long time if you are 3 or 5. I know it is going to be hard for me, especially in the beginning, but my panic has subsided. How long can I wait, without it being a weirdness of waiting that long? I don't want to offend people who would not judge me and feel left out that I waited so long.