How long to settle in at nursery?

[pinklizzy]

I need some reassurance! Erin will be going to nursery 1.5 days a week from next month so has been going for settling in sessions of 2 hours an afternoon a week.
A week last Wednesday was her first day and when I dropped her off she seemed fine, was happily playing with a toy when I left-I admit I made a quick exit because I was worried I was going to start crying! When I picked her up she was crying, they'd given her the dummy I left in her bag and her little muslin comforter. She sobbed all the way home (about a 10 min walk) and went straight to bed when we got in.
Last Wednesday, the nursery rang to say could they postpone the session because they had a staff member off sick, as I had the week off, I was really happy not to have to take her.
Today I had to work so my mum took her in-she cried when my mum left and was upset when she collected her The nursery seemed really lovely when we looked around but now I don't want to take her on Wednesday. I don't want her to be unhappy but I have to work. What do I do?

 

[hawalkden]

I work in a Day Nursery and we're always getting new additions in our room and it's always the parents worry/fear of them just crying the whole session. At our nursery we have a policy that say's the first 5 half sessions or 3 full day sessions are free within the baby room and then its the same in the tots and for pre-school it's 2 full days instead of 2 for free. Meals etc included this is becuase we don't want parents to be wasting their money in a way if their LO doesn't settle and carries on not settling.

95% of the time though ever new child settles by their 4/5th visit and makes it better if parents don't stick around.. if they are super young e.g under 9 months then they can stay for a session but another over we advice they can look round the rest of the nursery for a while and peek at their LO before going..

But most of the time by time they've done well in your case Erin has done her first full week defo by the 2 week she'll have had settled in fine & think of all the new art & craft things she'll be sending home to you

Good Luck & I know it's not from a parents point of view im a mum-to-be but Im sure all parents feel the worry/guilt

x

 

[pinklizzy]

Thank you hun, it's really good to see it from another point of view. I'm sure it doesn't help that I hate the thought of her being there without me!

 

[hawalkden]

I'm sure I'll probably feel the same guilt when I return to work (peanut won't be going to the place i work due to places and I'm based in all three rooms so I'll be seeing them no matter what)..

Most of the ladies at work though who have LOs at different nurseries weren't as upset as parents we see with their new additions ..

When you pick her up though I bet she's covered in paint or food in her nails all her spare clothes in nappy sacks becuase she just wants to explore and no tear in sight & a huge grin on her face because she knows she's made you feel guilty and worried all day

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Can I suggest you post thing in the toddler & Preschool section more mummies who have gone through the 'nursery' stage

My little man started nursery for 2.5 days a week when he was 9 months old and it did take a few weeks for him to get used to it but before long he settled in.
She will be upset but its only because she isnt used to you leaving her. I promise it gets easier. I can't imagine a time when lo didnt go to nursery. He's come on leaps and bounds since he started. He never makes a fuss around new people and rarely has shy moments.
Please don't beat yourself up about it. You have to work. I truly believe that it helps them develop in to confident children. Hugs Sweetie i know exactly what you are going through!!

 

[Foogirl]

It took Abby about a month to stop crying when I dropped her off. But I was always reassured that she settled very quickly once I had left.

I'm actually having more problems with her now, after having been there for 18 months, than I did when she first started.

Don't assume if they cry, the nursery is crap. I think most children will cry at the start.

 

[ttc_lolly]

My LO is currently in her 3rd week of nursery and we only had 3 short settling in sessions. They all lasted an hour - the first I stayed with her, the 2nd I stayed and then slipped out after 20mins or so and came back for her and the last one I left her after a couple of mins.

It was really hard as she did get a bit upset, sometimes still does if she's particularly tired or sleepy, but I ring them 5-10mins after I've left and they tell me she cried for a few seconds and is now sat playing happily with her little friends

It's still hard for me though!

 

[Foogirl]

It was really hard as she did get a bit upset, sometimes still does if she's particularly tired or sleepy, but I ring them 5-10mins after I've left and they tell me she cried for a few seconds and is now sat playing happily with her little friends

It's still hard for me though!

I'm such a sceptic though, I never really believe them! After all, I really don't think they would say "yeah she was terribly upset all day...." Although to be fair, there have been a few days they've said she's been a little unsettled so I need to believe them more!

Thing is though, I really think it would be much worse if she went in without a second glance or a goodbye. I'd hate to think I could be replaced so easily!!