How on earth do I tell my mum?!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Club' started by luci and bump, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. luci and bump

    luci and bump Proud mummy to Evelyn :)

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    I'm 12 weeks pregnant today, and really need to get round to telling my mum. I'm 24, and have been with my OH for over 2 years, so its a very secure loving relationship. And now we're over the initial surprise, we're both excited and looking forward to being a little family

    His family all know, and are very excited and supportive. My little brother knows, and didn't really react in anyway (he's only 19, think thats quite typical for a boy haha)
    However, I need to tell my mum, as my OH's family are arranging a little celebration for us next week, and I want my mum to be there. I am so worried about telling her!! Especially as I also need to tell her that I have dropped out of uni!

    Any ideas on where to start?? My OH is really on my case to tell her, as his family have known for quite a while, and he doesnt want them to have to lie about when they all found out. I'm in Cardiff and my mum is in Bournemouth, so it has to be over the phone really. I'm going home for the night tomorrow, but will have my friend and his niece with me (we're taking her to paultons park for the day) so can't really break the news in front of him, especially as he doesnt know.

    Think I'm going to explain leaving it so long, by explaining I wanted to wait until the 12 week mark. Think she's going to be disappointed in me doesnt help that we're having a lot of family problems recently, my dad is terminally ill, and my great grannie had a heart attack on sunday

    Please, if anyone has any ideas or tips, please help!!
     
  2. Kmx

    Kmx Well-Known Member

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    My only advice is to do it ASAP.. I was the same and i was soooo nervous. Thought they would all be disapointed because of uni ect... but once i got it over with i felt such a feeling of relief that i didnt even care what they thought anymore. I could start really enjoying my pregnancy. I left it to 12 weeks aswell and honestly regret it as it caused me so much uneccesarry stress. I dont know how she will react but on the whole my family were fairly supportive. Im now 40 weeks and any sign of disappointment vanished weeks ago. All my family are super excited for the birth. And i havnt looked back!

    If it needs to be over the phone id just call her and tell her there is something u need to talk 2 her about. This is what i done anyway as i kind of prepares them.. i then said ' i was quite nervous to tell u as i dont want u to be disapointed in me.... but im pregnant' I felt it was easier to do it this way instead of just 'oh btw im pregnant'.

    Good luck and hope it goes well for u :flower:
     
  3. luci and bump

    luci and bump Proud mummy to Evelyn :)

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    I think explaining that I'm nervous about telling her is a good idea :)
    My OH said I should try and put it across as good news, so she knows we're both excited and positive, but I feel I should let her make her own mind up about how she's feeling to start with.
     
  4. Kmx

    Kmx Well-Known Member

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    Yeah i think explaining that you were nervous kind of justifies leaving it to 12 weeks aswell. I felt that by saying that they knew it wasn't planned ( i dont know if yours was) but i felt i needed to get across that yes it was an accident but that i was actually very happy with it. I think its a good idea to put it accross as good news as if u set a tone of bad news then she may be inclinded to feel this way. I just felt i had to make sure they knew it was an accident.. i dont know why but i didnt want them thinking 'oh typical planning a baby at the age of 20 when she is still in uni'... My OH's family was the same as yours,, all very happy. I can honestly tell u that as soon as u do tell her the relief u feel will outweigh any reaction she has. And also that by the time 40 weeks comes she will have had plently of time to get her head around it. good luck again :D xxx
     
  5. luci and bump

    luci and bump Proud mummy to Evelyn :)

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    Thank you, you've been very helpful :) No, bumpy wasn't planned, I was on the pill, so was a huge surprise! gearing myself up to ring her now. I feel really sick, but not sure if its actually sickness or worry!
     
  6. bananaz

    bananaz Well-Known Member

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    I'm in a similar situation - surprise pregnancy at 24 years old with my boyfriend of several years. I was also soooo scared to tell my mom so I put it off, but when I finally did tell her it was such a big relief. She was a little skeptical at first but once she saw that I had thought things through she's been very supportive, and now she's really excited to be having a grandbaby.

    Do you have scan pics to show her? I found that to be a helpful icebreaker :) Good luck!
     
  7. luci and bump

    luci and bump Proud mummy to Evelyn :)

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    My mum rang when I was in the toilet, so I rang her back, but after she'd finished chatting, I'd lost my nerve :(
    Debating calling her back now. I do have scan pictures, but I'm in Cardiff and she's in Bournemouth :(
     
  8. Kmx

    Kmx Well-Known Member

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    Aww.. dont worry i done the same thing. I set myself all up to tell them and promised i would.. was so nervous then couldnt do it! I left and felt so angry with myself for not doing it.. so I texted her and said.. ii need to talk 2 u about something.. that way i didnt need to wait til a moment in the conversation to break the news, so when i walked in she knew i was there for something. Maybe u could do the same and just say ' i need to tell u something' or something along those lines and then when she calls she knows its for a purpose and u will be forced to say it as there wont be any other chatting?

    Good luck xx
     
  9. NuKe

    NuKe mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

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    just tell her!
     
  10. luci and bump

    luci and bump Proud mummy to Evelyn :)

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    I told her! I rambled on a bit, but got to the point pretty quickly. She just went "oh right. I'm with Helen (her friend) at the moment, I'll ring you back in about 5 mins" then she rang me back, and she seems really excited :) she's coming to cardiff on friday, then travelling to yeovil with my OH and I for a little celebration with his family :) I feel so relieved that she knows now :) My friend and his niece are going to Bournemouth tomorrow, but he doesnt know yet, so we're going to sneak off for a bit on the sunday to go in and see my dad to tell him :)
    Now I can just do the fun bits of telling friends, I didnt want to tell them before, because I didnt want mum to be the last to know
     
  11. babycakes16

    babycakes16 Cory's mummy <3

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    awww well done telling her! That's good, its never as bad as you think once you've got it out :)
    now you can concentrate on enjoying your pregnancy. congratulations hun :flower:
     
  12. dustbunny

    dustbunny mummy bird

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    I remember when I told my mum and ended up bursting into tears because I was about to break up with then boyfriend and she knew that - needless to say she's as happy as a clam now!!
    It's good that you told her now though instead of it all building up and I'm glad she was excited! :hugs:
     
  13. Kmx

    Kmx Well-Known Member

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    Well done on telling her! Great news that she took it well. Now u can focus on enjoying the rest of ur pregnancy! Good luck xxx
     
  14. sohatewhy

    sohatewhy Guest

    I was also soooo scared to tell my mom so I put it off, but when I finally did tell her it was such a big relief.
     
  15. scottiejunior

    scottiejunior Well-Known Member

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    I'm in strangely the exact situation ur in! Been with oh for 2 years and I'm a 24 yr old 1st time mum! I've told my little bro and he had the same reaction as urs (wasn't too bothered) my mum is super strict and even though I know I'm not young I'm still terrified to tell her! Truth is I know she doesn't really approve of my other half and flipped last week when I told her we are moving to a bigger house. Im 12 weeks next week and fairly slim so know I need to tell her... I need to stop being a wimp I think or just get ready for the reaction! Hope urs goes wel too x
     
  16. luci and bump

    luci and bump Proud mummy to Evelyn :)

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    I was so, so scared about telling her. But being able to tell her that we had gone to pregnancy crisis councelling really helped, because she knew we'd both put a lot of thought into it, and we were both sure that it was what we wanted. At the end of the day, her opinion of your OH is the least important, and maybe when she sees how much he's supporting you, it'll change her opinion of him :) I was only 6st 4 before i got pregnant, so have got a fairly large bump for my size, so people are defo going to start noticing it soon! I'm just glad its winter so I can get away with big baggy jumpers! Am certainly piling on the pounds now!!
    If you want to chat, our circumstances seem pretty similar, so just message me :) :flower:
     
  17. baby_mama87

    baby_mama87 Well-Known Member

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    I didnt even need to worry about telling my mum I said 'mum I have something to tell you' she said your pregnant arnt you! she instantly knew lol, bet you feel better for telling her good luck with your pregnancy :flower:

    xx
     

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